Have you ever had to walk home after a suicide attempt?

[pogostick]

Hopefully nobody is sick of my account showing up on their recent feed.

I saw a video recently talking about the strange feeling of having to walk home after experiencing something traumatic, and I realised that that was something I experienced when I failed my attempt to CTB on October 1st. I went home in the dark and it was cold and wet and nobody knew what I'd done. I took a day off of uni and said that something 'really serious' had happened.

I was just wondering if anybody else has had to do this, and what it felt like.

 

[BrainSplatter]

I felt kinda empty and numb after failing I feel like that's kinda natural after a near death experience like you body would have had so much adrenaline giving you that intense rush, you're left drained both physically and emotionally - I wouldn't want to be at uni in that state. I remember this attempt I had where I tried to jump off a multistory car park it took 6 cops to get me down to safety I was so hysteric punching kicking them pushing the over doing anything to get back over to that edge then I was sectioned for 3 days then discharged that same day I went to meet with my friends at the time and smoke weed like always anyway as conversations started about what people did over the weekend my one friend said did you see that guy on that car park the Friday night there was 2 police cars ambulance it was crazy then someone asked what happened did they die? She said yes but I knew the truth, it was me who attempted and I didn't jump so why say yes? Maybe she was stoned maybe she wanted peoples reaction but no one seemed too bothered by it like the initial shock died down pretty quick but it was strange how life just kept going while I was still stuck in that moment

 

[kcon1243]

A few years back, I packed my perfectly measured rope and drove to this long dead end dirt road that has the only bridge in the area ideal for drop hanging. It was snowing and the road was a single lane on the edge of a cliff. My car ended up getting stuck before I made it to the bridge. It took me 8 hours to get my car free by myself as there was no cellular service. I was too far away to walk to the bridge in the snow with my rope and I wasn't dressed for the weather. I laid in the snow for a while hoping I could just freeze to death instead but no luck. When I finally got around to getting my car unstuck, the sun was rising. I just drove home. Nobody in my life knew a damn thing.

 

[mlb]

Yes!! The hiding part is super relatable. Thought it was gonna be the day, had everything with me, was scouting the location (train tracks) and found out that there was no easy way to get on the tracks without jumping and breaking my legs and I didn't want to feel any pain and time it wrong so that I both fail and have broken legs. the walk/drive home felt horrible and numb, was very mad and frustrated that i didn't do it there, as I've been thinking about it for a while at that point. Cried as soon as I got home. Actual attempt happened the day after- and the message I sent to my friend 18 minutes before was "I'm finally leaving this dream". Gives me chills now. I was that close.

 

[iamanavalanche]

i just felt really defeated. when i failed, i sobbed and screamed out loud that im surprised people didnt hear. on the way i home, i found some swings and just sat on them for a good 30 minutes just thinking about how its weird that my life isnt over yet.