My thoughts are consumed by the person who ruined my life. It would be nice if I could never think about him again and just move on, but I can't. I can't forget the betrayal and the lifetime of punishment to which he sentenced me. He killed me. My heart may still be beating, but for all intents and purposes, he killed me.
I used to fantasize about getting back at him in some way that he would be sentenced to a life like mine. I've surpassed that, though. Now I just wish he would die, and I fantasize about doing it. When I dream about it, it is always brutal and extremely violent. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do anything like that, but I definitely would like to.
I hate saying that, but it's how I feel. I was never a violent or hateful or spiteful person, but what he did to me contorted my very being. I wish him the most horrible, agonizing death.