SmollMushroom

SmollMushroom

send N pls
Sep 27, 2023
405
I did when I was a kid. I still remember exactly how it felt.
I was laying down on the surgery table when the nurse started injecting something in my veins (wish I know what that was!).
I wasn't feeling anything - then she said: when I tell you so, inhale deeply.
Then she gave me the signal and I took a deep breath.
In a fraction of a second I felt this tingling coming up from the tip of my toes, rapidly running through all of my body up to the head. And then nothing.
Everything happened so fast that I didn't even had the time to freak out. I went from being fully conscious, eyes open, to be totally out.
And when I say a fraction of a second, I really mean it. I'm not over exaggerating!
When I woke up, several hours later, I could have sworn only a couple of seconds had past and I felt absolutely nothing during that time.

In a weird way, it's like I've already died. And unfortunately came back from it.
I wish they gave me an OD of that. Ctb like that would have been so fucking nice...
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I was given Versed intravenously, and it was the best feeling for a few minutes, my anxiety literally drained out through my feet. Then I was out. If heroin is even half that good I can understand why people would be addicted to it.
 
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LonelyKitten

LonelyKitten

Seeking one final escape
Aug 13, 2023
284
I was under, just last year!
And yeah, you just... vanish. Like someone snaps their fingers, you're out.
Any amount of time passes, but it feels like none did at all, and poof, you're back.
Literally anything could have happened in that time, and I would have never noticed.

Completely surreal. Unlike sleeping or dreaming, it is actual maximum tranquility.
If only that serene element could be taken from it, to help overcome survival instinct.
Would be very easy to pass in that state, you wouldn't even know.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
Imagine if you could simply request an anesthesia overdose.
 
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hermestrimegistus

hermestrimegistus

Specialist
Sep 16, 2023
341
Couple months ago. Was surreal. The guy started distracting me, asking me what I like to drink, we riffed about Chuck Barris and The Gong Show and before I knew it I was waking up. Like some slight of hand magic trick. Definitely an ideal way to CTB. Just never waking from it
 
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avaruus

avaruus

loser Ā· gone very soon
Aug 17, 2022
560
No, but i have k-holed with ketamine, which i've heard is used as an anesthesia during surgeries.

I was just laying in my bed after multiple lines and suddenly my vision started blacking out.
It's weird to explain, i was conscious but in a really really weird way. It felt like i was dead, i had no concept of time.
I didn't really think about anything, i had no desire to, i was just being.
I didn't even feel my body, my consciousness was just falling down a black void in total silence and peacefulness.

But it didn't feel like the unconsciousness during when you sleep, or when you just close your eyes and see black.
I cannot put it into words, but it's often described as feeling like a near death experience.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,549
A few years ago I had a little surgery and i had anestesia. I was out within seconds and I only remember what happened after I woke up.

On my way to the hospital I wished they'd give me an OD, but that did not happen. Unfortunately.
 
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ChiseHatori

ChiseHatori

Member
Mar 2, 2023
95
Yes, and it was similar for me, but I didn't feel anything. I just took a breath, and I was out immediately. It was extremely odd since it's hard for me to fall asleep generally due to insomnia, obviously it's a different thing but it's just crazy how immediate it was.

When I woke up, I had a panic attack (coming down from the high of IV drugs and anesthesia will do that) and the nurses got mad at me... it was a really bad hospital.

Some time after that, I came down with an internal infection and had to stay at the hospital for 3(4?) days. During the midst of my fever, I fell asleep, and when I woke up many hours later felt a lot better. It was weird, but it had felt like I died and was revived at that exact time. If I hadn't been in hospital... I would've died then, or earlier, so I guess that makes sense. During that fever, I felt like I was barely hanging onto life until that moment. Everything felt distant... small.

Once I left the hospital in a wheelchair, feeling the sun on my skin, I actually didn't feel suicidal for the first time in my life since I was 13. I think I was mostly relieved to be out of the awful hospital, but I'm not sure. The ideation eventually returned about a year or so later.
 
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darknesscomesquick

darknesscomesquick

Not all who wander are lostā€”trying to find an exit
Sep 19, 2023
52
Teaching Hospitals get noob docs every Julyā€¦that's when the medical errors go up if you look at data. Can't promise anything, but if you schedule a procedure for early July, there is a higher likelihood of something like what you are suggesting happeningā€¦
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,885
Yes, I had that similar tingly feeling but only in my temples. I said to them- 'I'm feeling dizzy' because I didn't know how else to describe it and I was out. Probably took under a minute. Next I knew, the ceiling was moving because they were wheeling me into the recovery ward. Kind of makes you wonder why they don't put people out first in assisted suicide clinics but maybe N works as quickly. They probably like people to physically drink it themselves rather thsn injecting it maybe.
 
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J

Jenny 1234

Member
Sep 12, 2023
17
Yes. You go out so quickly and feel really relaxed when you wake up. It would be a great way to die
 
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ogerpon

ogerpon

^_^
Sep 23, 2023
17
yeah, I was put under earlier this year when I had a surgery, but I don't remember how it felt. I don't even remember being wheeled into the surgery room, but I have a spotty memory anyway, so I'm not surprised. all I know is that when I came to, I was throwing up and shitting myself >_< not fun. I wasn't particularly anxious going into it though, so it'd be nice if I could CTB the same way
 
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Ruma

Ruma

Experienced
Dec 26, 2021
250
When I was a kid I was put out to have teeth removed. I remember absolutely nothing,not even blackness. What a wonderful way to go!
 
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SmollMushroom

SmollMushroom

send N pls
Sep 27, 2023
405
yeah, I was put under earlier this year when I had a surgery, but I don't remember how it felt. I don't even remember being wheeled into the surgery room, but I have a spotty memory anyway, so I'm not surprised. all I know is that when I came to, I was throwing up and shitting myself >_< not fun. I wasn't particularly anxious going into it though, so it'd be nice if I could CTB the same way
Ah yes, I remember that when I woke up I had a list of things I wasn't allowed to do, like ingesting any liquids (even water) or trying to get up.
Useless to say that, me being a kid, I was: 'Nah I'm good'. And I tried to lift up my head.
I vomited all over the floor and laid back down x)
 
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avoid

avoid

ļø
Jul 31, 2023
297
I have been under general anaesthesia a couple of times and it always feels the same. I can't remember any difference between inhaling anaesthesia through a mask and getting it through an IV line. Usually, they ask me to count down from 10 and never have I reached 0. Naturally, as a child, I wanted to try to stay awake for as long as possible but without luck.

It felt like falling asleep quickly. The last thing I remember is my eyelids falling shut and being powerless against the drug. Then it's black for a second or two after which I open my eyes in the recovery room. If you take out the context of surgery then I would've thought that I was teleported. There was no dreaming; no thoughts. Moreover, I think that the few seconds of darkness can be attributed to the seconds leading up to falling unconscious and the seconds after regaining consciousness with your eyes yet to open.
 
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Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Student
Sep 19, 2023
142
Yes. bliss. as the name implies, at first was a surgery, that's all i remember, after that i was discharged spent 1 week at home, got sick, pneumonia sepsis, induced coma.

After returning TO hell, (yeah its there's no words to describe what "the otherside was" and heck i was an atheist .. its literally being "reborn" with some missing memories and additional surreal fabricated ones)


i was asked to sign every page which described everything that was used from bandages to antibiotics
was curious to see what happened in the first days, i "had died and wasn't even aware lol" ; well, it seemed like they had a hard time putting me down, Propanolol was listed among a list of drugs that "wished i was aware enough to enjoy it =)"
i'll never find out what exactly happened/i did 1 week prior to the coma; Although the surgery involved anesthesia, i doubt it was possible to cause the best/worst experience ..


from "teleportations" to black outs. the whole time felt blurry, dreamy, "inbetween" can't remember and can't believe what i was told.


just fragments really,. surgery took 7 hours seemed like less than 5minutes
returned home and felt sick returned to hospital and they first attempted induce coma , 1 week seemed seconds.


"teleported to bed" "black outs" woke up in a different hospitals when i recognized a friend who was sitting by the chair he was surprised i woke up

For me, it looked like just a hangover from hell i ripped all the wires , (some "patches with pieces of "iron", the only thing i couldnt take it off was that access with tubes going all up the I.V bag , so i dragged it along

What happened next probably made someone get fired that day. and only happened cause no one was paying attention
i was able to "sneak" out of ICU straight through the reception and then the parking lot... only there security staff arrived (dressed in black suit, so it wasnt a doctor) yapping a lot of stuff probably "you shouldnt be here" i said just wanted to finish the smoke, instantly a "squad" of doctors "spawned" around, seemed like they were "taking notes" or waiting me finish smoking, which i did very slowly that surely angered them, i wasn't aware about what was happening anyway. after that flaw i think they decided to REALLY dope me. to a point "beyond return"

a month passed and it was unexplainable, surreal.. can delirium comatose be compared to a DMT trip? i don't know. but it was weird
how can anesthesia do this? how resistant can a person be to coma-inducing drugs and what caused me to "wake up jump out of the ward, not even noticing the crushed hand, the fact i was at an ICU. just "walked away"

the next time i woke i couldnt stand on my feet, couldn't speak, took weeks to remember name. (and years to re-remember everything else)
I want to go back to that state. returning was not meant to happen, the damage caused turned me dysfunctional. This struggle has to reach an end.


Just remembering of the "non-being" state typing all this. i almost feel joy and if its truly like that.. without the "evil part" , i dare to say i'm dying to return, to "nowhere" it was the only place where, for a while, felt where i belonged. nothing to worry nothing literally and at the same time "no" =)
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,591
I did when I was a kid. I still remember exactly how it felt.
I was laying down on the surgery table when the nurse started injecting something in my veins (wish I know what that was!).
I wasn't feeling anything - then she said: when I tell you so, inhale deeply.
Then she gave me the signal and I took a deep breath.
In a fraction of a second I felt this tingling coming up from the tip of my toes, rapidly running through all of my body up to the head. And then nothing.
Everything happened so fast that I didn't even had the time to freak out. I went from being fully conscious, eyes open, to be totally out.
And when I say a fraction of a second, I really mean it. I'm not over exaggerating!
When I woke up, several hours later, I could have sworn only a couple of seconds had past and I felt absolutely nothing during that time.

In a weird way, it's like I've already died. And unfortunately came back from it.
I wish they gave me an OD of that. Ctb like that would have been so fucking nice...
Yep, three times for me: gallbladder removal, endoscopy, colonoscopy--like zero time had passed, gallbladder was three hours
 
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PixelPlant

PixelPlant

smile, youā€™ve lived :)
Aug 15, 2023
129
yes i had it before
and i loved it, it's the only time that i had a good ass sleep
 
tinyghost

tinyghost

go home at dawn sleep in the sun
Sep 13, 2023
209
yeah a few times. i always lose my memory of the last hour before i go under though. the first time i was only 9 and i woke up and didnt even remember going to the hospital and i thought my iv was an alien attacking me so i ripped it out šŸ˜‚
 
mekurin

mekurin

Heading for something better than this
Jul 9, 2023
61
Yes, I had surgery twice and nearly died from it twice. I cannot recall much from the first as I was pretty young and it is my PTSD. The second time I remember closing my eyes on the surgery table and opening them in the recovery ward. The strangest thing would probably be the fake memories I got from the first surgery. Things that simply were impossible. I thought they were real for many years until my I told them to my mum and she said there was no way any of that could have happend.
 
IWishToDie

IWishToDie

I check notifications once per week
Dec 31, 2023
480
could have sworn only a couple of seconds had past and I felt absolutely nothing during that time.

In a weird way, it's like I've already died. And unfortunately came back from it.
I wish they gave me an OD of that. Ctb like that would have been so fucking nice...
I spent all last night thinking about this exact thing. Agree 100%.
 

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