Venting Have you ever genuinely wanted to live?

[drop]

Right now thanks to Nintendo.

Thank you for this sunshine. Got any game recomendations?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Thank you for this sunshine. Got any game recomendations?

 

[catfriend]

if 'genuinely' means wanting to live in all but the most abstract, fleeting of ways, then no. suicidal ideation started at 10; since then, it's really just been putting off the inevitable with distractions (healthy and unhealthy).

 

[JesiBel]

Is it peace you desire? For something that also sounds borring, leaving the thoughts roam amoungst someone's mind amoungst quiet scenary. I break for you, truly understanding the need of family and having them around. Even a friend who is a brother and sister to just pick you up or help put you down. Loneliness is a painful cold place. The fight to stay awake, so you don't forever fall asleep.

My question to you, for me mostly. If there was existance what would it be?
Some questions I ask my self is that even if there was existance would there be a meaning? And does that meaning have a meaning that has a meaning and so on?Why is it the bad things in our life that makes us question existance and not the good? It makes me wonder.

I think most of us are here because life has continually only offered us suffering, problems, and sadness. If something worse can happen, it does. The "happy/peaceful moments," if you can even call them that, are fleeting or nonexistent.

Oneself start to wonder... why keep fighting? What's the point? When you're screwed from the start and everything's always against you. It is a constant feeling of despair. I've had a lot of strength until now (just for my sister, I don't want her to end up like me). You can't live dreaming or medicated; reality is crystal clear. Energy and 'hope' reach their limits. It's not healthy to continue existing in a constant abyss or storm. It's always dark.. It also makes no sense, unless you're a masochist who likes to continue torturing yourself (existing).

I guess suicide, after all, is a pious act to oneself. At least you'll leave this world knowing you gave it your all; things just didn't work out. And that's okay.

Fate can't be changed. Why would it? Or how many more misfortunes must be endured until "peace or happiness" arrives? I think I've had enough. Mind and body are sick.