I'm currently considering leaving audio recordings.
I would love to have one for every person who is important to me, to give them some solace and remind them it's not their fault, and another general one for family and friends to listen to at my funeral so I can explain myself.
Writing feels less personal. I also want them to remember my voice.
It would be very "me". I've always been someone who just can't stop talking and always has to make sure she gets the last word in so others don't misinterpret me. Seems like even after I'm gone I'll be desperate to explain myself.
That's a pretty cool idea. I wouldn't have thought to leave one for my funeral. Even if I did though, knowing my people, they wouldn't play it at my funeral. They'd probably listen to it in private.
I still like the idea though. That's real unique.
I had to laugh at this. I'm sorry, but, "seems like after I'm gone I'll be desperate to explain myself." I know it probably wasn't meant to be funny. I just connect with those words. I'm the same way, I must always be talking. Lol. My narratives are usually deployed about things I'm passionate about, like psychedelics, the dark web, etc...
I just thought that was a clever way to put it. Lol
I might or might not leave notes. Haven't decided.
I hope you do. I know when a friend of mine killed herself I was very distraught until her sister gave me the note she wrote me. Being able just to see her words reassuring me she loved me and was sorry really helped me smile in the end of it. Today, when I feel lonely, or especially depressed, I read that note and listen to a couple voicemail from the night she departed and it usual helps me feel better.
I do really miss her though... she was the best friend I ever had.
Nah, never. I am so tech-challenged I'd probably end up video-taping my ceiling. And I am much better with the written word. much easier for an introvert to express things in writing. And come to think of it, I am not even sure I'd want to leave any record at all of my final thoughts and feelings. It would only provide fuel for the gossip that I so abhor. Don't feel any need to explain myself to anyone.
I Like that, "too tech challenged..." I could just imagine, "sorry mom, sorry dad, but I just thought I'd tape the ceiling to show you how much it'll miss you." Lol
Honestly, I'm a very gifted writer and artist. I'd actually write a better letter, but I really want my people to have a final glimpse of me telling them how much I love them and how much I'm sorry. I think that'll go miles when they actually hear my words in my voice explaining to them my honest, open, deepest, sincere thoughts. That'll feel good too knowing I bared it all for them the best way I could.
I wouldn't think of writing/recording a note as sharing your "final" thoughts. Write it before hand to have better control over what it says instead of writing it the day or hour before you go. Doing it that hastily will most surely bring about some desperate thoughts. That's not something you need or want to share.
I've done some. I think it shows honest emotions a lot better than a letter. They may be able to see understanding easier too.
Agree, kind friend. It shows how sincere you truly are about leaving a final goodbye. People can read a note, but that won't stop them from misinterpreting the actual sincerity of the words. I'm not saying a video will solve this dilemma. Just that maybe, if they see your face one last time, they might be able to cope better.
I've considered suicide note via video, but really I know that everyone will hate me for doing it, so I wouldn't want them to see my face. It would probably be burned into their memory forever as a symbol of their anger towards me. I wrote a single note in spanish that said something along the lines of "I love you but I can't live for someone else. Sorry. I'm in the [master bedroom] closet hanged". I then burnt it and pushed the remains in the garbage bin while inside of a tissue after I failed.
If your don't mind me asking, why would they hate you for doing something like that? I mean, don't you think they'd be happiest knowing you left them something so personal? You'd be surprised at the level of respite that provides to they people you cared about.
A single note is still a good thing. It'll provide a sense of closure that people don't get when somebody just randomly dies. Think, if your loved one was hit by a car, passed away and you have nothing to comfort you besides your final words, which hopefully we're good ones, would you feel like you had closure in that situation? Then think, if you did actually take your own life, but left an explanation and a final goodbye with love, you would probably be received in a calmer light.
You failed at full suspension? How did that happen?
I also wouldn't have burnt my note. I have all the notes I was able to salvage from my past attempts. I plan to leave them close to my body. The police took some of my notes and others friends took and destroyed after I failed. I'm just like that though... I'm caring, and sentimental.
