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butternutsquash

Member
Nov 28, 2023
20
When I tried to CTB in the past, I always tried to do it somewhere private where no one would be able to stop me in time. I didn't want my family to have to go through the trauma of seeing my body and I didn't want some poor bystander to either. I even called 911 once just before an attempt so trained professionals who have experience dealing with this kind of thing would scoop up my body before anyone else saw it. But sometimes I almost feel like I want people to see it. I want the people who made my life hell to see just how much pain they caused me. I want the people who looked the over way to see what their inaction caused. Sometimes I feel like if I offed myself in some forest people would forget about me but if I did it in a way that people couldn't just look the other way to, it would spark conversation. It would force the university faculty to address bullying more seriously, it might make some people wake up and realize how shitty the way they treat people is. The recent incident where Aaron Bushnell killed himself as an act of protest made me start feeling like, if I'm going to die anyway, maybe I should do it in a way that brings attention to an issue or might bring change.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that's just me
Sep 13, 2023
7,365
Yes, I want to ctb to fight the system. There's no escaping society and structure though, so I think that death will be the only escape. I'm a NEET right now as a form of protest, but that's unsustainable, and eventually I'll have to work for a living to support myself. I don't want to buy into the system, but the unfortunate reality is that I inevitably will have to. I also want to protest against the system, I think that ctb will be an ultimate act of rebellion against it. Maybe in my suicide note I'll say something like "fuck capitalism."
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
2,406
No, I don't want to ctb due to protest but rather because I wish myself the ultimate peace ever. Unlike others here, I don't hate myself and I want the best for myself. That best being suicide. I don't care about anybody or anything and I don't care about the impact of my death on others. I think that I deserve peace and I'll always prioritise that over what others want
 
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piryohae3

Member
Jan 2, 2024
69
Yes, I want to ctb to fight the system. There's no escaping society and structure though, so I think that death will be the only escape. I'm a NEET right now as a form of protest, but that's unsustainable, and eventually I'll have to work for a living to support myself. I don't want to buy into the system, but the unfortunate reality is that I inevitably will have to. I also want to protest against the system, I think that ctb will be an ultimate act of rebellion against it. Maybe in my suicide note I'll say something like "fuck capitalism."
My thoughts exactly, fuck capitalism. When I die the system will be deprived of one more exploitable slave.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,200
Yes, I want to ctb to fight the system. There's no escaping society and structure though, so I think that death will be the only escape. I'm a NEET right now as a form of protest, but that's unsustainable, and eventually I'll have to work for a living to support myself. I don't want to buy into the system, but the unfortunate reality is that I inevitably will have to. I also want to protest against the system, I think that ctb will be an ultimate act of rebellion against it. Maybe in my suicide note I'll say something like "fuck capitalism."
You could consider doing what I did. Work for a living, and quietly chip away at the foundations of those aspects of the system that you don't like while doing so. Doing that doesn't change the world instantly. It does change it in the long term, if enough popl do it.
Yes, I want to ctb to fight the system. There's no escaping society and structure though, so I think that death will be the only escape. I'm a NEET right now as a form of protest, but that's unsustainable, and eventually I'll have to work for a living to support myself. I don't want to buy into the system, but the unfortunate reality is that I inevitably will have to. I also want to protest against the system, I think that ctb will be an ultimate act of rebellion against it. Maybe in my suicide note I'll say something like "fuck capitalism."
If you don't like the way the world is, then change it.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that's just me
Sep 13, 2023
7,365
My thoughts exactly, fuck capitalism. When I die the system will be deprived of one more exploitable slave.
I'm not going to let them exploit me. I want out! I *will* escape
You could consider doing what I did. Work for a living, and quietly chip away at the foundations of those aspects of the system that you don't like while doing so. Doing that doesn't change the world instantly. It does change it in the long term, if enough popl do it.

If you don't like the way the world is, then change it.
The sad truth is that these systems and structures are so ingrained that it's hard to change them. I don't think that we can change the system, there are too many factors keeping it in place. There's a theory called capitalist realism where "it's easier to imagine an end to the world than an end to capitalism."
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,200
I'm not going to let them exploit me. I want out! I *will* escape

The sad truth is that these systems and structures are so ingrained that it's hard to change them. I don't think that we can change the system, there are too many factors to keep it in place. There's a theory called capitalist realism where "it's easier to imagine an end to the world than an end to capitalism."
It is hard to change the world. It is not impossible. I know what I am talking about because I have done it. Not single-handedly, of course, but by working in parallel with others who sought the same kinds of change. (I don't want to go into details.) Doing that sort of thing is enormously empowering. It might even give you a reason to want to continue living. Theories, incidentally, don't mean much; don't be too influenced by them.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,200
Look, I get what you're saying and I'm glad its made you feel empowered but we've seen what happens to people who actually come close to making a dent - just look at what happened to Alex Navalny and Greta Thunberg. Protests and activism don't actually do away with a problem - it only raises the incentive to hide said problem from the public view. Instead of solving an issue, the people who benefit would rather cut corners or find a loophole. It's going to take a collective effort and that can't be done when the very system you're fighting against suppresses any meaningful change. People can barely agree on the same issues that're plaguing our society there's so much polarization. People are dependent on this system - they're not going to give up their comforts just because someone across the globe is suffering at their expense, people barely bat an eye when it's a homeless person on the street.
Protests and activism are the start, and I agree that those involved at that stage often have to pay a price. (I did.) But there is also a quieter, more sustained way of doing things that can, and usually does take over when you have done enough shouting to bring the issues to the attention of a broad audience. You don't usually have to pay a price for that (other than the fact that time spent doing that is time not spent doing other things).

I have immense respect for Greta. An inspiring photo of her is the background on the desktop of the laptop on which I am now typing. The same photograph is on the wall of the laboratory where I do most of my work. (The attachment is a scaled-down version of it.) She gives me some hope for the future.
 

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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,200
I respect them too - but when it comes to something like capitalism, I think the only solution is to wait till it burns itself out. I've little faith in humanity - because we've put so much faith in this system - it's a sunken cost fallacy. We aren't prepared for what's in store for us if we continue on like this - and right now we're beginning to enter uncharted territory. I'm glad people like her are trying to bring more attention to the issue - but spreading awareness isn't enough. In order for people to take action as a collective - a fire has to be lit under their butts, and by then it'll only because the problem has spread to their doorstep.
The problem with capitalism is not so much capitalism itself as inadequate reglation and control of capitalism by governments. Capitalism tries to make money, which in itself is nether good nor bad. In making money it also produces things we all need or want (which is good). It can also, especially when it gives power to people who use it selfishly, lead to enrichment of the few and harm to the rest of us (which is bad). It's up to governments to pass laws - and enforce them - that curb the excesess of capitalism, while still allowing it to be dynamic. If the system is not working, it's governments that are primarily at fault. At least in western countries, we elect the governments, so the buck stops with all of us.

I'm actually far more concerned about climate change. I think it quite likely (probability greater than 50%) that climate change, and the stresses that will accompany it, will cause our industrial civilisation to collapse before the end of this century. If that happens, 90% of the world's population will die (of starvation) and the survivors will find themselves living in a pre-industrial world. Capitalism, properly regulated, could play a part in helping us avoid that fate.
No. I wouldn't CTB as a form protest. Nobody would care anyway.
My feeling exactly.
 
Homo erectus

Homo erectus

Mage
Mar 7, 2023
560
Yes, I want to ctb to fight the system. There's no escaping society and structure though, so I think that death will be the only escape. I'm a NEET right now as a form of protest, but that's unsustainable, and eventually I'll have to work for a living to support myself. I don't want to buy into the system, but the unfortunate reality is that I inevitably will have to. I also want to protest against the system, I think that ctb will be an ultimate act of rebellion against it. Maybe in my suicide note I'll say something like "fuck capitalism."

I am only forced to protest.

Maybe not having children, not actively participating in society are milder forms of protest.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that's just me
Sep 13, 2023
7,365
I am only forced to protest.

Maybe not having children, not actively participating in society are milder forms of protest.
I'm not actively participating in society right now (because I'm a NEET lol) but the problem is that I eventually will have to, and I just don't want to. Someone told me that once you're born in this world, you cannot leave it, and that there's no escape (but I can by ctb haha). I don't see any escape other than ctb. I'm not having children because I never wanted any and also because of my AN beliefs.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
2,406
No. I wouldn't CTB as a form protest. Nobody would care anyway.
Touché. I think that, at best, and this is only at the very best, people would care about one's ctb protest if it was a very young minor doing it. People tend to react more intensely to minors killing themselves over adults killing themselves. After all, whenever the media have covered this site, they always tend to focus more on the rare few minors that killed themselves as opposed to the higher magnitude of adults killing themselves instead
 
Tzu

Tzu

Member
Feb 5, 2024
19
I think it's an admirable thing to do but it would feel disingenuous for me to claim my suicide was for a cause when I know that it's ultimately rooted in my own personal desires. For me, part of the bravery of protesting in that way is the people involved doing it even though they otherwise wouldn't choose to die, the belief in something ranking over your wants to such an extreme extent. I don't feel that I have that level of moral conviction and I would be uncomfortable pretending I did.
 
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butternutsquash

Member
Nov 28, 2023
20
I think it's an admirable thing to do but it would feel disingenuous for me to claim my suicide was for a cause when I know that it's ultimately rooted in my own personal desires. For me, part of the bravery of protesting in that way is the people involved doing it even though they otherwise wouldn't choose to die, the belief in something ranking over your wants to such an extreme extent. I don't feel that I have that level of moral conviction and I would be uncomfortable pretending I did.
You make a really good point. What makes self-sacrifice so admirable is that they wouldn't have done it otherwise, hence it being a sacrifice. If you plan on dieing either way, while it would still have an impact, it would lose some meaning.
 
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FitsTime

FitsTime

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
640
Sometimes yes, because i was born in good shape, well educated and with a discrete intelligence,and is this stupid word that made me like this. But then i think, that to die in peace and with a smile and with my method of choice, would be the best form of freedom, and no protest would be necessary.
 
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DandiFynalicious

DandiFynalicious

Existence is Pain
Dec 18, 2023
24
Oh yes. Very much. I think about torching myself in protest of shit healthcare and specifically shit mental health care. I've had what passes for good care and it has kept me alive this long but most people don't have my privileges.

I wish I had the guts but I really just want to pass peacefully.
 
V

VoidedExistence

Member
Dec 6, 2023
48
Yes, I want people to see my dead body, and I want to write a suicide letter not to show love and apologize to people but to tell them all how they have all ruined my life and then I had to deal with how I turned out to be because of them and had to suffer for it.