Got three relevant stories 'cus am a mess these days who can't shut up (clearly)
One, a person for whom I had a lot of affection for, though in any world, I think for whom I'd called a bad friend- not to their face, but in my head, I described them as "emo" and "middle school" and cringed when they expressed their feelings of loneliness. It was the manner in which they expressed themself that I disliked, found cringeworthy. They killed themself and.. it's gruesome.. to look back and see how elitist and unaffected I was. They were suffering and I did nothing, I saw their eyes and scoffed. Even someone like me, who also knows those feelings, had that reaction.... I am still struggling to reconcile with this, of course. Self-awareness of villainy is wild
Second, I told a friend about my suicidal feelings. Like me, they're rather a bad friend; we're bad friends to one another. Not supportive, not healthy, it's just a joke dependent on money and food. The crux of my confession was my asking them essentially for their blessing. Tell me it's okay and they'll be alright with the decision and not condemn me and they can live anticipating my suicide. They said they couldn't do that, and I've forgotten why which must be a huge nod to my narcissism...you know, you remember what you say in a conversation but not what the other person says, ugh. Anyway they've never brought it up since. So, still kind of supportive. No cops called. I'm grateful. I told them because I was venting desperately.
Three, I moan about "wanting to die" at work all the time. Coworker once asked in a voice like casual incredulity if I was suicidal so of course I laughed and said no. Because am a dark cloud of bad vibes, I've pestered coworkers like, "Don't you ever want to die? How are you living right now??" At first, their reactions were chill. Since, two have come back with affirmatives, that they dream of death and want to kill themselves.
edit MORE STORIES DAMN
FOUR, when i was like 12 or 13 and suicidal for the first time! Confessed scared and very sad to a friend with whom I was growing apart over the phone! They simpered no don't kill yourself. We fell out of contact. I lived, suffering.
FIVE, at like age 15, a dear online friend confessed they had every intention of killing themself, and they asked if I would be alright. In my vanity, I assured them that yeah, I'd be fine. Actually, I was shaking, physically, but didn't tell them that. They're still alive and doing much better, afaik, and i'm very very glad
I tell people and nothing happens; people told me and I did nothing. still, i'd advise anyone to be careful. even with my results, i'm still wary of wards and certain people finding out. don't be tooo dumb...