Venting Hate me but won't let me die...

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

I finally got the balls to do it after finding out WAY more than I anticipated. My husband and his & my own family have been destroying me for over a year. I finally got the noose around the rack in my closet, put it around my neck, secured hands behind my back, got on my knees and leaned forward. Started fading within seconds. I was SO close. (Husband was in his bedroom with door shut and locked) Not sure how long it was but I am waking up in pitch black dark, feeling like I am peeing myself.... feel spinning then I see that I am on my closet floor. The fucking asshole who has been making my life miserable for year's CUT ME DOWN!!! (my body was hitting the closet door making noise) He won't even let me die, he wants to see me suffer until HE decides it's time for me to die. He has to leave at some point. He has to go to work in the morning.

 

[drennedrat]

I'm so sorry to hear that it failed, I hope you can find the peace you want soon.

 

[Iamtired]

I finally got the balls to do it after finding out WAY more than I anticipated. My husband and his & my own family have been destroying me for over a year. I finally got the noose around the rack in my closet, put it around my neck, secured hands behind my back, got on my knees and leaned forward. Started fading within seconds. I was SO close. (Husband was in his bedroom with door shut and locked) Not sure how long it was but I am waking up in pitch black dark, feeling like I am peeing myself.... feel spinning then I see that I am on my closet floor. The fucking asshole who has been making my life miserable for year's CUT ME DOWN!!! (my body was hitting the closet door making noise) He won't even let me die, he wants to see me suffer until HE decides it's time for me to die. He has to leave at some point. He has to go to work in the morning.

He won't let you divorce?

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

He won't let you divorce? He sounds like he's the one who needs to die.

I have begged to move out and for a divorce for 3 years. I even handed him filled out divorce papers 3 times. He won't do it.

 

[Iamtired]

I have begged to move out and for a divorce for 3 years. I even handed him filled out divorce papers 3 times. He won't do it.

I obv don't know what the whole situation is. If you want to PM me feel free to talk. I think you need to get out of there because he's going to drive you to kill yourself which is…well. Not ok to say the least. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrific situation, it disgusts me how people cannot just die in peace when they wish to, I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I finally got the balls to do it after finding out WAY more than I anticipated. My husband and his & my own family have been destroying me for over a year. I finally got the noose around the rack in my closet, put it around my neck, secured hands behind my back, got on my knees and leaned forward. Started fading within seconds. I was SO close. (Husband was in his bedroom with door shut and locked) Not sure how long it was but I am waking up in pitch black dark, feeling like I am peeing myself.... feel spinning then I see that I am on my closet floor. The fucking asshole who has been making my life miserable for year's CUT ME DOWN!!! (my body was hitting the closet door making noise) He won't even let me die, he wants to see me suffer until HE decides it's time for me to die. He has to leave at some point. He has to go to work in the morning.

This is a difficult situation, especially since you're so sure that you want to go. By that I mean it isn't your own reservations holding you back, but someone else's. I hope you find peace in whatever way you can find it.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I hope there will be new perspectives for you... Your situation sounds heavy