Discussion Hate being awake

[Nymph]

I wake up everyday and say to myself: I want to die. So yea, it's not great

 

[mediocre]

I'm now afraid of the dark and the silence. I have to be awake to distract myself. So I sleep during the day and usually wake up at night.

 

[Gnip]

Thanks for that info. I'm so sorry you suffer from that, though. But I found it helpful. I actually do also have sleep apnea. My last sleep study showed up to 90 obstructions per minute. It's not weight related for sure. My mom told me she can remember when I was very little having to sometimes stay up and watch me sleep because they were terrified I'd just stop breathing! I have no clue why I was never diagnosed until well into my 30s...

I absolutely hate the CPAP. I never got bronchitis from it thankfully (had no idea!!) but it doesn't seem to help my sleep quality. So I rarely bother. Anyway, that combined with my PTSD makes for pretty shit sleep. That's actually the cause of the major sleep disruptions for me. My flashbacks mostly manifest as vivid nightmares, and I'll wake up in a panic a lot. I'm sure not breathing probably makes a lot of that worse, but I don't really notice that normally.

And I screamed in my sleep as a baby and Ritalin skinny boy.

I keep procrastinating on undertaking this next self help course I've been sitting on for a few years, but maybe three to six months of these daily vocal exercises for toning my pharynx open might be the final resort which could actually improve my sleep issues. There is no chance this might have worked for me before my septoplasty, turbinate reduction and uvulopalatopharyngoplasty (UP3) at the hands of an extremely competent and gifted surgeon, but now, with CQUACK having again failed so miserably after that operation despite my reduced pressure requirements, maybe a steady course of daily vocal exercises can enable me to do for myself what previously was not possible (not to mention a likely drastic improvement in my speaking and singing voice).

https://www.singingforsnorers.com/index.htm

 

[Konjac]

If I could sleep forever, I would. Blissful nothing or some wack ass dream my brain's come up with. Either option's better than actual reality.