has your suicidal thoughts caused you to live recklessly?

[Room237]

i feel like my depression and other mental disorders are causing this, but i've noticed lately that i don't really care about my safety. always been an impulsive person though. tbh going in that way would be ideal to me, i'd much rather die as a result of alcohol poisoning or traffic accident for example. for some reason i feel like it would be easier for my loved ones to cope with i guess. have you experienced this?

 

[aubrey!]

i do a few reckless things, but you just have to remember if you don't die there wil lbe consequences. so live on the edge or as far away from it as possible, not in the middle.

 

[SilentSadness]

Unfortunately, I have no hope of a good ctb method any time soon so I have to live as I otherwise would. It really is so exhausting to have to live and care about the things that happen.

 

[Memoka]

Something like that, but rather something passive. Sleep deprivation, junk food, self-harm, starving.
I want to get cancer, to be honest. So that no one will judge my decision

 

[GoForDeath]

Recklessly no, but I am considering going back to drugs

 

[Avyn]

Something like that, but rather something passive. Sleep deprivation, junk food, self-harm, starving.
I want to get cancer, to be honest. So that no one will judge my decision

Same, just that I'm also actively trying to make my organs fail. I guess we can call it a slow suicide

 

[BornHated]

Not physically reckless like that, but atm I've made peace with wanting to CTB which is helping me feel way less guilt about purchasing some stuff I really want. I'm still trying to squeeze out some extra time to achieve some few short term things I want from this life but I'm really not looking forward to how my full human lilfespan would progress (never have!).
Spending my savings helps make it easier to CTB sooner now that it'll make it have even less hopes to invest in further education, and I don't have to worry about lack of healthy food since having my body in a worse state makes it easier to finally CTB anyways, soooo...

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I don't know if it counts as being reckless, but I'm always eating and drinking a lot of unhealthy things, and sometimes I get excited whenever I experience random chest pain, because I keep hoping it's a heart attack, but it hasn't happened yet sadly.

 

[outrider567]

No, just the opposite-- I want to be healthy when I CTB

 

[Dying Alive 00]

Something like that, but rather something passive. Sleep deprivation, junk food, self-harm, starving.
I want to get cancer, to be honest. So that no one will judge my decision

Yes, very much agree with this except the sleep (I value that too much and want it forever!). It seems that cancer only finds the people who want to keep living, though.

 

[kindalone]

I've always been sort of reckless with my life. I honestly don't know what came first. My desire to ctb or the reckless behavior. It was kinda intertwined. It isn't even the fun reckless behavior. It's more like not handing in my assignment, eating junk, not paying my bills. They cut off my electricity once for not paying for 6 months. I'm honestly just an idiot who is reckless with everything in general.

 

[999tilltheworldblow]

Yeah, for real, cuz I would've never done most of the things that got me here if i wasn't suicidal. Live fast die young

 

[aubrey!]

Yeah, for real, cuz I would've never done most of the things that got me here if i wasn't suicidal. Live fast die young

Just make sure if you're going fast not to endanger others. I love going fast, I'm fine with killing myself but putting others at risk is just asshole-ish yet very popular with a lot of folk nowadays. (with the exception of spectators - who should know that risk) It really is starting to take away from what street racing was.

 

[prim]

yess 100% im a lot more reckless in many different ways

 

[dra1ncoreslwt]

yes, I take poor care of myself on purpose , often avoiding eating, terrible sleep, sh, I've caught diseases and didn't seek for help until they were too evolved, to anyone normal such constant pain would be torture, but all of that is nothing compared to the emotional pain I go through.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Safety is important part of life, I would encourage to look into it. It may cause subcouncious traumas and projections if you act recklessly torwards yourself.

 

[CellarBoy]

I believe that my Depression causes me to live recklessly, I've done it for years. It often contributes to a lot of deaths in that way, sometimes called suicide when it's just reckless living.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

I never really leave my room except to go to the psychiatrist, so the most reckless thing I do is crossing the street without looking to either side

 

[CentreMid]

A little bit, yeah

 

[stermc]

Yes. Don't recommend it though.

 

[witheringDreams]

I am actively trying to find people to assist me in some way. I'm not sure if I would call that reckless or not though.

 

[Nemaki Arber]

They have absolutely, I already have so little money and I just spend it on food and drugs like mdma, acid and weed, if I could afford it I would be on drugs 24/7 and get my hands on something more lethal for myself.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Not necessarily recklessly. However, I do have a sense of 'playing with house money' since I've solidified a date. It's also a fail-safe in case things just start to go sideways again. CTB is a great bat for life's curveballs.

 

[Noise]

Yes and no; I oscillate between impulsivity and extreme inhibition, usually pathologizing the latter. I've gone months without adequately eating, engaging in extreme routine behaviors, and even going to the extent of staring at the wall in the dark for 2-3 days in a row out of fear of becoming hedonistic and somehow prolonging my life as a consequence. I look terribly emaciated and pale because of this. And then I fall into drinking, neglecting my environment, and doing fuck all out of laziness, only to feel an immense amount of shame and fall back into the former lifestyle. Wouldn't recommend

 

[nlpgirl99]

For sure, plus I've always been a goodie goodie because my dad was a sociopathic pastor (he literally put a gun to my head once and threatened to kill us both if I don't listen to him) so yeah I got perfect grades, was every teacher's pet and so on. Now I'm 21, dropped out of college which no one in my family knows, lost my job by falsifying time sheets (it makes me physically sick and I start crying on the way to work…so I like to find jobs I can get away with not being at too much) but they caught me and will probably sue for the money back who knows. I got evicted from my first rental for having my boyfriend visit on weekdays and now I have a week to get my shit out. I'm broke, have heavy taxes to pay and I'm really careless. I became addicted to marijuana and shopping. I'm a failure, and what sucks is I actually have potential and talent. I'm conventionally pretty, can sing and have won awards for my essays and writing, but I feel empty. Useless. I cannot feel like this any longer.

 

[IDontLikeMyself]

I don't really look when I'm walking in traffic anymore tbh. also like in general more risky behaviour like mixing alcohol with my medications and shit

 

[trist]

i did it a lot when i was younger, but now i look out more because i don't want to be near death and face bad consequences. most 'reckless 'situations don't guarantee death so i'd rather avoid those (except for self harm, but i can control that).

 

[BlackWednesday]

Yes I've made lots of bad decisions with the justification that "if things go bad I can always kill myself"

 

[TimetoGo!]

yeh, I've always been 'sensible'..........now because I know I'm going I could'nt care less.

I've never even done drugs, always lived quite clean , but chuck a bag at me now and i'll smash the lot

 

[Himalayan]

Yes