Discussion Has Your Sexuality Contributed to Your Suicidality?

[hamvil]

Not really, I consider myself demisexual which can be things difficult sometimes.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

I wouldn't have so much internal grief if I were straight, and I'd be free of something that massively alienates me if I were full lesbian. Growing up, my grandmother absolutely hated lesbians in particular, so I'd hear about how every woman vaguely butch was "gawking at her" or "attracted to her". In reality they were just women living their life and possibly not even gay. Of course, I was already proclaiming that I would never be interested in the opposite sex at five or six. Still mostly true.

Idk, being half and half fucking sucks because I prefer women strongly enough that I wouldn't be fulfilled with a man, but lesbians are generally wary of bi women for understandable reasons. I'm kind of the same, tbh. Modern alphabet soup culture is cringe. Words have meaning.

Most of the time my sexuality doesn't matter, but when it does I don't belong anywhere. It also isolates me from relationships for a number of reasons.

 

[LesbianCarpetPython]

Yeah, I'm trans and even if I do the full treatment, I can't just see myself a true female. I might as well just add to the 40% of attempted suicide

 

[ManicPanic2018]

I'm a pretty horny fucker. Trans male to female. Before I had surgery, I had to pretend I didn't want sex because the dysphoria of having the wrong genitals was too much. Had very little sex pre surgery.

I waited years for gender reassignment surgery, hoping it would let me live a normal life. I realised I was trans young and started transition at 19. If I could get surgery young enough, it'd leave me the majority if my 20's to fuck to my hearts content and have the life I'd always wanted.

And then I had gender reassignment surgery at 25.... and I was mutilated. I have no sensitivity down there. Don't even have a fucking clit. I cant tell you how heartbreaking it is to have the person you love go down on you, try their hardest to make you feel good and feel absolutely. Fucking. Nothing. Not to mention the surgeon couldnt even put my cunt at the angle it was supposed to. It runs perpendicular to my fucking navel. Guys don't know how to have sex with me. I cant have sex from behind, any position other than missionary. Even then, it becomes painful for them for how their dick bends. It is also incredibly painful for me because of how tight my vagina is.

I've told this story numerous times here but never really explained it all in that detail. But here I am. Desparate for sex and intimacy. Years of sex drive built up with no where to put it. Yearning to have sex like a woman. But mutilated. And alone. I've never met anyone else with the same set of problems as mine, lack of sensitivity yes but not the others. But I am so, so fucking alone.

This is why I will be CTBing soon. I tell this also to warn other trans people, how horribly wrong this surgery can go. The technology just isn't there. Any trans person who tells you surgery will give you results equivalent to a cis girls vagina is a fucking liar.

 

[Celerity]

I wouldn't have so much internal grief if I were straight, and I'd be free of something that massively alienates me if I were full lesbian. Growing up, my grandmother absolutely hated lesbians in particular, so I'd hear about how every woman vaguely butch was "gawking at her" or "attracted to her". In reality they were just women living their life and possibly not even gay. Of course, I was already proclaiming that I would never be interested in the opposite sex at five or six. Still mostly true.

Idk, being half and half fucking sucks because I prefer women strongly enough that I wouldn't be fulfilled with a man, but lesbians are generally wary of bi women for understandable reasons. I'm kind of the same, tbh. Modern alphabet soup culture is cringe. Words have meaning.

Most of the time my sexuality doesn't matter, but when it does I don't belong anywhere. It also isolates me from relationships for a number of reasons.

I haven't really tried the dating game with women, but I have heard about "biphobia". It's funny how the orientation that seems to have the most options actually often has the fewest. After a lesbian I was interested in abruptly ditched me, I wondered if me being bi might have been factor. She had a lot going on though, and she didn't tell me what was wrong, so I can't really know for sure.

I also question if I could be fulfilled by a relationship with a man. I'm just not as attracted to them as women, and I can't see myself confiding in a man like I could a woman. With all my guy friends except one, me being a woman colors our relationship in a way I don't particularly like.

Also, right there with you on the "alphabet soup", lol.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Bing gay

Microsoft is branching out?

I consider myself demisexual which can be things difficult sometimes.

Yeah, she might get tired of it.

Words have meaning.

I can't see myself confiding in a man like I could a woman.

 

[Celerity]

Microsoft is branching out?


Yeah, she might get tired of it.

You would want to be my confidant, Gene? Think very carefully about this.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

You would want to be my confidant, Gene? Think very carefully about this.

I have nothing better to do.

 

[Celerity]

I have nothing better to do.

Haha, lol. I might take you up on that if my life gets crazy again. It's pretty lamely boring now. There's very little to confide.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Haha, lol. I might take you up on that if my life gets crazy again. It's pretty lamely boring now. There's very little to confide.

Sure, sure.

 

[Blue_mist]

Most definitely! I came to Canada as LGBTQ2 refugee back in 2017 and things haven't gone well for me. I still suffer from 3 decades living in a conservative country and conservative family in Saudi Arabia. Wish I could wipe out all my memories

 

[Lawliet]

sexuality (bi) no, but being trans yes. i know i will never achieve the gender i want even though i've already made some changes and have the opportunity to go on HRT. my parents are okay with it (i love with them, disabled adult) but the rest of my family would crucify me. i would get cut off from my nephews and niece.

I'm a pretty horny fucker. Trans male to female. Before I had surgery, I had to pretend I didn't want sex because the dysphoria of having the wrong genitals was too much. Had very little sex pre surgery.

I waited years for gender reassignment surgery, hoping it would let me live a normal life. I realised I was trans young and started transition at 19. If I could get surgery young enough, it'd leave me the majority if my 20's to fuck to my hearts content and have the life I'd always wanted.

And then I had gender reassignment surgery at 25.... and I was mutilated. I have no sensitivity down there. Don't even have a fucking clit. I cant tell you how heartbreaking it is to have the person you love go down on you, try their hardest to make you feel good and feel absolutely. Fucking. Nothing. Not to mention the surgeon couldnt even put my cunt at the angle it was supposed to. It runs perpendicular to my fucking navel. Guys don't know how to have sex with me. I cant have sex from behind, any position other than missionary. Even then, it becomes painful for them for how their dick bends. It is also incredibly painful for me because of how tight my vagina is.

I've told this story numerous times here but never really explained it all in that detail. But here I am. Desparate for sex and intimacy. Years of sex drive built up with no where to put it. Yearning to have sex like a woman. But mutilated. And alone. I've never met anyone else with the same set of problems as mine, lack of sensitivity yes but not the others. But I am so, so fucking alone.

This is why I will be CTBing soon. I tell this also to warn other trans people, how horribly wrong this surgery can go. The technology just isn't there. Any trans person who tells you surgery will give you results equivalent to a cis girls vagina is a fucking liar.

i'm so so sorry this happened to you. if you ever want to talk more about it in a safe place, my dms are open.

 

[CTB Dream]

Human always norm forcs abnorm discrimination make harder, reason human force reproduce, woman not reproduction tool. Many people want sexy different norm even subliminal factor ctb, one not happy even body social opress concept same hunger not allowing worse many people. Maybe before ctb facto now injury damage disconnect hard think feel sexy

 

[hamvil]

Yeah, she might get tired of it.

Why you say so?

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Yeah.

 

[zombie_zam]

no, my wish to ctb stems from suffering from chronic illness