Has there ever been a moment in your life which destroyed you from the inside

[Gaga786]

Once, my father stated to my uncle- whose children are very intelligent- that it's unfortunate that his own sons aren't as intelligent as my Uncles. Hearing that right infront of everyone destroyed me. It's as if no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. I don't blame him though, who would even want a pathetic son like me. It just hurts when your own father is against you

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Whenever I see my triggers.

 

[TrynaChingMyself]

Realising that I am the problem, and not everybody else.

 

[αmber]

My entire childhood and teen-ages. I suffered non stop abuses and traumas of all kinds. All of that destroyed me from the inside and made me consider CTB since the age of 10 or 11.

 

[Gaga786]

I

My entire childhood and teen-ages. I suffered non stop abuses and traumas of all kinds. All of that destroyed me from the inside and made me consider CTB since the age of 10 or 11.

I relate to that so much. I was bullied nonstop, and when I would come home: my mother would have these episodes where she would bang her head on walls, hit herself, scream and say how it's better that she dies and how god should take her away right now. It messes me up seeing her like that

 

[αmber]

I relate to that so much. I was bullied nonstop, and when I would come home: my mother would have these episodes where she would bang her head on walls, hit herself, scream and say how it's better that she dies and how god should take her away right now. It messes me up seeing her like that

My mom also would bang her head on the walls when she got really angry. It was disturbing to watch. I'm sorry we went through all of that.

 

[Graham]

Once, my father stated to my uncle- whose children are very intelligent- that it's unfortunate that his own sons aren't as intelligent as my Uncles. Hearing that right infront of everyone destroyed me. It's as if no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. I don't blame him though, who would even want a pathetic son like me. It just hurts when your own father is against you

In what way were they supposedly more intelligent?

Grades at school?

That sort of thing?

 

[Pluto]

I don't blame him though, who would even want a pathetic son like me. It just hurts when your own father is against you

That's an awful thing to go through. In general, a particular moment would have to be unbelievably traumatic to negate an otherwise pleasant childhood. Perhaps that incident is better described as a lowlight.

Regarding the above quote, I personally would blame him for a number of reasons.
1) A decent parent loves their child regardless of what they say or do, and irrespective of any worldly successes
2) Most if not all people have strengths and weaknesses, such as someone with a lower intellect being talented at music or sport
3) If a young person is unsuccessful even in their areas of interest or talent, the chances are the parent has failed to offer the right support or opportunities
4) refer back to point 1

 

[Gaga786]

In what way where the supposedly more intelligent?

Well, they got all A stars in there GCSEs. They are highly successful in their business: one is cycling professionally and representing Pakistan in global tournaments, one started a business and became a millionaire. He worked for Mc Kinsey and his business was even cited by Harvard university as an example showing how startups can form from the ground up. The other two are doing amazing in life as well. The only difference was that my parent's neglected me and refused to help me with any homework whereas my uncle provided a very nurturing environment for his children (trauma free) and helped them with their studies. He promoted hark working values from a very young age

 

[Marine]

My whole non life of rejection, abandonment, violence and abuse but that culminated when the first person I fell deeply in love with, and almost first relationship, made it clear that I was unloveable for him, that I didn't even exist or have any worth for him so my death left him indifferent, and every micro repetition of that afterwards has been another nail in my coffin. Yes 3 serious and thought through attempts at suicide didn't work and I don't want to go through any of that anymore, I just want to be saved...

 

[Gaga786]

That's an awful thing to go through. In general, a particular moment would have to be unbelievably traumatic to negate an otherwise pleasant childhood. Perhaps that incident is better described as a lowlight.

Regarding the above quote, I personally would blame him for a number of reasons.
1) A decent parent loves their child regardless of what they say or do, and irrespective of any worldly successes
2) Most if not all people have strengths and weaknesses, such as someone with a lower intellect being talented at music or sport
3) If a young person is unsuccessful even in their areas of interest or talent, the chances are the parent has failed to offer the right support or opportunities
4) refer back to point 1

Thank you. I blame him as well for severely neglecting me which led me to this case in the first place. I thought I was stupid my entire life and no one even helped me with any schoolwork. I was sent to a tuition for a hour then expected to know it all. Obviously, the child won't develop a positive relationship with studying.

 

[FuneralCry]

Rather than a specific moment, it is just existing in general. I really should have never been born in the first place. Simply being alive hurts me, I know that I will only be able to find peace in death, there is no peace in this life.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

There were two such pivotal moments but I have already discussed them at length tons of times on this site before.

 

[justagreenleaf]

I recently experienced my first episode of psychosis, which has ruined my life. I see no way forward, only suicide.

 

[Angi]

Yes. Even with a traumatic childhood and a couple of issues, I was somehow happy, every stage was better than the one before. Sexual abuse tipped the scale and messed me up for good.

Regarding the above quote, I personally would blame him for a number of reasons.
1) A decent parent loves their child regardless of what they say or do, and irrespective of any worldly successes
2) Most if not all people have strengths and weaknesses, such as someone with a lower intellect being talented at music or sport
3) If a young person is unsuccessful even in their areas of interest or talent, the chances are the parent has failed to offer the right support or opportunities
4) refer back to point 1

Thank you for typing this out. All of this is on the parent, and not the child.

 

[canneloni12]

my wife leaving me in October. Making me realise the idiot I have been.

Moved to the other side of the world to be with her and it's all over. I'm completely destroyed because of this.

 

[Slimetae]

The self inflicted traumas /chaos of my childhood realizing that I pretty much was fucked from the beginning turned 7 then everything went downhill.

 

[Gaga786]

Yes. Even with a traumatic childhood and a couple of issues, I was somehow happy, every stage was better than the one before. Sexual abuse tipped the scale and messed me up for good.


Thank you for typing this out. All of this is on the parent, and not the child.

As a survivor of sexual assault, I agree. It completely tore me apart: I suppressed it early on but it has completely destroyed my life. The worst part is that the abuser is doing amazing in life whereas im the one who's preparing my funeral. It sucks how there were no consequences for his actions

The self inflicted traumas /chaos of my childhood realizing that I pretty much was fucked from the beginning turned 7 then everything went downhill.

My school life was the worst. I made zero friends from it, and it sucked seeing the popular kids and their perfect school life. I guess was at the end of a losing battle early on

 

[Lullaby]

Being 5 and seeing my mothers boyfriend on top of her with a kitchen knife. Literally will always be vividly ingrained into my memories.

I could probably go on, as I had been in a plethora of traumatic situations when I was a kid, teenager and now, an adult.

When you have so many of these moments, it really just starts to kill your will to live.

 

[ornitier199]

Yes—this moment right now. And all my past mistakes and delusions

 

[Angi]

As a survivor of sexual assault, I agree. It completely tore me apart: I suppressed it early on but it has completely destroyed my life. The worst part is that the abuser is doing amazing in life whereas im the one who's preparing my funeral. It sucks how there were no consequences for his actions

Same here. That's why I dislike the term "survivor". I don't feel like one.

 

[BipolarExpress]

I've gone through a hell of a lot in my life—child abuse, homelessness and near-homelessness, poverty, toxic relationships—but the past two years have pushed me over the edge. My mental health started deteriorating during the COVID lockdowns. In particular, my OCD grew worse. I started developing odd, quasireligious beliefs and rituals. I became rigid and hidebound, even more than usual—and I'm autistic! We're known for our rigidity. After I developed mania with psychotic features and burned a lot of bridges in the process, I haven't felt the same since. I embarrassed myself on social media, at work, and in front of some of my closest friends. A few people stopped talking to me. I keep having everything I said played back to me over and over again, as though my mind were now a blooper reel.

God, I want to fucking die so much. I wish I could man up and do it.

 

[ph0enix]

when i had to cry full of shame in front of my girlfriend because i realized i am unable to hold any relationship due to past bad choices and too much emotional baggage forever …

i ended up in a psychward because it was too much and my gf abandoned me

 

[hopeless302]

i've experienced many such moments.

 

[coyotestark]

Too many to list, I'm dead on the inside. The only silver lining is that all of the trauma has lead to depersonalization, I do not even exist.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Childhood neglect led to depressive episodes and low self-esteem, along with constant rumination…

 

[leeloosnow]

so many times i wouldn't really know where to start listing that shit. can only put the pieces back together so many times until nothing fits anymore

 

[Andarosh]

When I betrayed my only friend I had in the past 8 years, and lost her forever as a friend, it has broken me absolutely as for 4 months I spent in depression. Now I'm afraid of making friends at all, because I might hurt them again unwillingly... I've lost count of how many times this has happened.

 

[Adam-ondi-Ahman]

Not a moment but moments due to my cooming addiction. I wish i never had a sex drive. it drives me mad

 

[Nowako]

When people hurt you - it's sad but you can get through it but when the same people hurt someone you love and you can't do much about it.... it's too much, for me.