Vox

Vox

Member
Mar 28, 2018
54
For some reason when I think of my own life that ended in such a disaster, I look at other lives (mostly birds, animals, trees) and think how wonderful it must be, to be part of a system that makes sense. I guess some humans fall into this category as well, but most of them are just deluded. But any living creature who has a genuine sense of belonging, and something to contribute to the world, is a rare and precious thing.
 
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voyle

voyle

Member
Apr 8, 2018
15
Your ego is created to help the machine called human "be/exist". You are not born into this body - you are it's creation. It's not the same feeling to be a bird as it is to be a human. You get an input from the outside world (light/sound etc.) and you can think of your brain as an algorithm that will give you an output based on different xs and ys. There are different algorithms in different creatures. Some things just don't need consciousness at the same level as we do to exist. There's no free will in this world. Everything that happens is predetermined. There is the main algorithm called evolution. You won't feel the same in a different body as "You" is created by it and it's momentary. You are not the same thing that you were a couple of years ago.(You know that your cells are getting replaced by new ones) You just have memories of this human - It's always now. The thing that you identify as "I" has already ceased to exist many times. There can be no time, If there's nothing to perceive it. You are awareness - technically you are all of these things at once,(yourself,bird,trees) but you only experience the world from the perspective of this human. It's an illusion - you are yourself/you are myself/you are the god/you are everything/you are nothing. Ego is an illusion - free will is an illusion - souls are an inllusion - god is an illusion. Illusion can still be perceived. It is the way it is because you decided that it has to be that way. Ask yourself - Who you are? - Who's asking that question?(Who's asking who you are) You will say "I". You can perceive it, but your "I" is a level above that "I". It's a non ending game - at the end you will come to a conlusion that you are everything - it's a correct one. Everything that you are perceiving as wrong is exactly the way it's supposed to be.(Not wrong or right - you just may perceive it as wrong)


Watch this video
Might give you a will to live or just an understaning that will allow you to commit suicide with a total peace inside.
 
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Vox

Vox

Member
Mar 28, 2018
54
I haven't watched the video yet, but your words are right in line with what I (would like to) believe. That Existence is essentially 1 body. Like a book. Think of your favorite book; the characters aren't literally fighting with each other on the pages, they are all part of the singular book. And the book itself exists for the purpose of expressing a singular point, whatever that may be.

But whatever, that's just talk. No amount of philosophy or spiritualism can make it hurt less if you're in suicidal pain. That's where we disconnect from the greater whole. That's when pain/emotion forces us back into the "ego".

But at the same time I feel like others around me are part of something I wish I could join. As it is, I'm afraid I'm just a minor character who gets killed off in the first chapter.
 
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voyle

voyle

Member
Apr 8, 2018
15
It all can be our brain tricking us. It can falsly make me believe something based solely on logic.(There are limits on what I am able to do/think of) How can I explain nothing becoming something logically? The thing that I can say is that I am aware - and we go with the question "Who/What is saying that he is aware?" then Who is asking that question? Understand that everything that you do is happening inside your skull. You are getting signals from the outside light/sound etc. and you know how far something is etc. It all still is in your head - I can stand 10m from you and you say that you can see me - i am there. It is all based on signals that got into your brain - I am visualized in your brain - data is given to "ego" You are a brain in some vehicle that is using it to perceive it using senses and making decisions based on the input - No one is ever being mean to you - you are interpreting that signal as being mean based on your algorithm - it's your brain that interprets the words of other people the way it does - It's creating all of the things inside - your image - your goals etc. Brain named itself. Brain is making decisions based on the evolution algortihm. You know that you can remove someone's eyes and he still is going to be him. It all can be just Matrix. Remove all senses and you become true "You"


Let's say that you are a god(not in a christian sense) and aware of it. You can do everything - there are no limits of what you can do. You will think and create everything - there's no time as time is relative. You are here and are perceiving it, but for the god it would be all now - and every single possibilty of everything will happen.(Multiverse/Qunatum) It just happened that you are aware of the world from this perspective - You are the world looking back at itself from your eyes. Let's say that there are emotions and god just feels the best ones - logically(I am aware that logic may make no sense in his world but in this it does - i am trying to explain it in this one), but now already he felt the good ones - what's the point of feeling the same things all the time - He is aware - what's the goal of being aware - it's to just be aware. Awarness is the only thing that there is(at least here) If he knows that he just is - he will move onto experiencing different things - the bad emotions etc. Quantum theory tells us that every possible scenario will happen. It just happened that you are experiencing this world as an ego just to be aware of it. God put himself in that point - every single human that you meet/that helped you/did you wrong was supposed to do it.(You wanted it- You even wanted me to write this message at exactly this point of your life) There are worlds with time - there are worlds with no time - there are worlds where you are happy and this one. There can be a world(meaning as a whole as "all") where there are 2 worlds and there can be one where there is only one. Google: "Quantum Immortality". The goal is to just be aware - The video above(meaning in my previous post not the quantum immortality one) will explain that it all is just an illusion of choice - you are just experiencing.(At least in this reality) There is a reality where everything that I said is the opposite.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
574
Explaining nothing would be just as hard as explaining something, I think, as counter-intuitive as that sounds. But maybe I'm talking shit lol
 
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OneEyedUK

OneEyedUK

Member
Mar 18, 2018
17
SO to answer your original question. Yes, in that I see having a huge brain, capable of expressing and thinking the sorts of things yourself (Vox) and Voyle have been talking about must at times, be exhausting.

I'm pleased to be able to think about things and see things simply, just because I am simple and stupid and thick.. if my kids lives depended on it, I could not explain what the two of you are talking about.. .whooosh .. right over my head... and whilst at times I have wished to be more brainy than I am, so that I could accomplish more, to be burdened with this kind of thinking would be the end of me within days or even hours.

The lives I appreciate the most are those laid down for others, those who have paved the way so others may have freedom, liberty, a voice. 'If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants' ... It is these 'giants' that I look too.. attain to be, if only for a second to one person..
I have had glimpses of that in my life so far, one in particular when something I did for person A, directly effected person B without me even knowing it.... and it was only years later when person B approached me and shook my hand and thanked me, that I had the slightest clue that my actions had helped turn his life around.
Being where I am has made me look at this 'moments', and realize that there are people out there that I have helped, have guided, and should I really be 'giving in' just yet....

Not quite what the two of you have been talking about, but my take. :)
 
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ChizuruN

ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
87
Honestly, thinking about suicide has given me a greater appreciation for my own life.
Perhaps that seems contradictory and whatnot, but I personally see it as anything (even myself) should strive to make the most of the time it has here on earth. Whether that be reproducing and surviving, or just trying to enjoy life in the case of humans, while I do think that living is suffering, I also feel that living is a very beautiful thing.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
574
Nah, we're just biological meat puppets, regardless. Nature isn't beautiful, there's even more suffering in the animal kingdom than in the human world. An elephant watching her baby get eaten alive by lions is just as lost and traumatized as we are by life. Warning: Graphic
 
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Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
369
No, not really.
 
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brighter

brighter

Warlock
Jan 22, 2019
718
I've learnt to be more kind to others through being suicidal, and understand that those who want to die don't need to hear patronising bullshit, but need someone to see that what they are going through is legit.

In most cases, people are more likely to listen to the word and take the comfort of someone who is willing to support them in life or death.
 
Koal

Koal

Student
Dec 16, 2018
101
Suicide has made me hyper-aware of others not appreciating me. Every time I get ignored or excluded, I cannot help but think to myself "I'm alive right now, I'll be dead soon but right now I am alive and you're taking that for granted". I guess people expect you to be around forever and so they think they can get away with taking you for granted.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
Not really... it's just made me bitter.
 
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