Discussion Has suicidality and depression made anyone else let themselves go?

[Unsure and Useless]

I haven't showered and brush my teeth in a long time. I was absolutely filthy. However, being forced to go to mass as of late means that I'm up to date with my hygiene now. (I just showered yesterday!) Can't say the same for the rest of the house. Although I have to pick up garbage due to intermittent family visits, there are still food stains all over the place, and I haven't swept the floors/vacuumed the carpet in two months

As for my appearance, I have always been, as a wise man once said, "a fat fucking chud". Being healthy has never been my forte since I'm paranoid around other people

 

[sohopelessandempty]

im in the exact same boat as you, and i have started to place an enormous value on how i look. during the worst of my traumatic childhood years, i didnt even care about how i looked because i was in actual hell. also i knew i was ugly anyways and had never felt otherwise so i kind of just accepted it i guess? if it makes you feel any better, whenever i go out to be seen by people or even at work, i always do a full face of makeup and try to look my best. but at home when im alone i never really shower and rarely brush my teeth, its all just putting up appearances. maybe the gorgeous girls you see online or in real life are that way too? it doesnt really matter anyways, because depression makes everything else so meaningless. i understand feeling ashamed of your 'ugly' inside coming outside, but youre not less valid or less strong or deserving than anyone else whos suffering. our brains are in survival mode, and for some people managing to look presentable is the only thing they can do, while for others simply surviving is hard enough. sending you hugs <3 please be careful with this thinking as well because ive definitely developed horrible body dysmorphia disorder from it..

Thank you so much, this actually makes me feel a little better. I feel like you did as a child nowadays, I don't care how I look anymore because I'm going through hell. I don't have the energy to look presentable in public anymore. I wish I was able to like some other mentally ill people, but I just can't do it. Like you said, for me simply surviving is hard enough.

I haven't showered and brush my teeth in a long time. I was absolutely filthy. However, being forced to go to mass as of late means that I'm up to date with my hygiene now. (I just showered yesterday!) Can't say the same for the rest of the house. Although I have to pick up garbage due to intermittent family visits, there are still food stains all over the place, and I haven't swept the floors/vacuumed the carpet in two months

As for my appearance, I have always been, as a wise man once said, "a fat fucking chud". Being healthy has never been my forte since I'm paranoid around other people

I'm proud of you for showering and taking more care of yourself!!! Also you're not alone, being healthy isn't something I'm good at either and I am also overweight(and too depressed to do anything about it haha).