Discussion Has joining SaSu helped you feel calmer or less likely to commit CTB?

[middlelord]

For me, it made me less anxious everytime i open the forum. Made me realize there's others that's in a similar position as i am.

Informed me about methods, about taking time to make sure that it's the right decision and not make rushed action.

 

[broken_stoic]

It has helped me immeasurably in feeling like I could find a solid way out in case I want it and helped me feel less alone. Overall probably less likely to ctb, but also more able to have a peaceful way out if I do.

 

[Britney Spears]

Yes, here I have love, understanding, support and freedom of expression. I love you and sasu

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I don't feel more or less suicidal, but I think it's made my suicidality feel less emotional and more logical. I think this place has helped me understand what suicide is to a deeper extent and how it can occur successfully. I now know how unpleasant and complicated it is. I think something that is true of most things in life, is that when you look at something from an outside perspective it will often seem more simple and straightforward than it is. After joining SaSu, my perspective on suicide has become more dreadful.

 

[threevoices]

absolutely. the kindness and compassion i have received on here has far exceeded what a lot of my closest friends have been willing to give me, and with the bonus of not having to worry about burdening anyone. this is all i ever really needed tbh, and the lack of this and how alone i felt was the only thing that made me want to ctb honestly

 

[SmilingNoMore]

I'm still here mainly because of the timing, not being right to ctb. SaSu has been here for me regardless, which helped in really dark days, and over time I find myself in a different space now. Maybe calmer, more informed and better prepared for what may very well still be the only and ultimate way out.

 

[nobody_oac]

After reading the NY Times article, I had to know more. After looking for information on CTB, I started to lurk around the different forums. So many good people here dealing with the same thing I am, and it helped me feel less alone and misunderstood. I have deleted far more than I have actually posted, but I'm warming up and realizing this place is for me. CTB is still on my mind a lot, but this place gave me a sliver of hope.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

It's helped me lessen the urgency to ctb, dig into my motivations and reasons while having people to empathize and relate to. I really like this community.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I was already low risk of ctb to begin with but being here makes me even lower risk and, in some sick way, helps me see life in such a more beautiful way.

It also helps that I have an ear, 24/7, all over the world. Can't really find that anywhere else.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always wanted to wait for my Dad to go before I do so- it's made no difference in that regard. It absolutely does help me to get through the days though.

I don't think people acknowledge that it isn't easy to talk about this stuff in real life. Plenty of people may like to think they're supportive but truly, they don't want to hear about this day after day.

I think there's maybe this weird assumption that if we don't talk about it, we don't feel it but, I don't think that's the case at all. Especially if it's become very prevalent in our lives. To go looking for suicide resources suggests that it has become a major issue to me. Not one you can probably just sweep under the carpet and forget about.

 

[Redacted24]

I keep hanging around here for the free doughnuts.

Oh yeah, and it's nice to be honest about feeling awful with others that "get it." That's made me feel less alone.
I started on here getting methods to increase success probability. And here I still am, 18 months later, because life is just a little less sucky when you're with friends.

 

[Imeavie]

Ive been planning out my death mask for a while now, slowly overcoming obstacles in its design. I originally came her after reading everything on ash, to further some research into my design, as well as other methods.

However, my time here has actually reduced my desire significantly (not completely) to ctb ahead of schedule (before my grandparents pass).

I came here alone, and without hope, but I have found companionship/understanding in a special community.
I have found solace in the words of others, even if I have never interacted with them. It feels good to finally for the first time belong somewhere, without trying to shoehorn myself in.

As Redacted24 so eloquently stated:

"...life is just a little less sucky when you're with friends."

 

[EternalShore]

probably some! :) I'd definitely say it's not a waste for my mental health~ :) definitely, when I first joined, it helped me feel better quite a lot! ^_^ and tbh, it still does~ :) it makes me feel less jealousy than being on other websites~ :) and I can get sooo depressed and sewer slidal when I'm jealous~ >_<

 

[rainw3rld4ngel]

(i voted "no")

It's true that aspects of this place (like the ability to be completely honest about one's intentions & thoughts) may be helpful even in recovery, but i don't think that's what most of the posts here are about.
even so, it helps in avoiding unnecessary risk, agony, injury & impulsivity. (but over the long-term, in a lucid state of mind, many will still conclude that this is what they want.)
sorry if you intended this question for the Recovery section, but this is how i think it applies to the forum as a whole.

about recovery, ill just add that despite how relatable it is to talk to other suicidal people compared to almost anything anywhere else, if ur preferred outcome was to make it out alive from whatever ur suffering through, i doubt it would be a good habit to stick around here long-term. like this time next year it would be better to have something different to occupy ur time & thoughts with if you intended to make progress in the other direction instead.
sometimes u think things don't affect you, but if u kept passively scrolling past other's accounts of attempting hanging, then that kind of thing will be on your mind in your worst moments (and perhaps without needing much time to learn or prepare anymore).
I talked to someone who got very close, but changed their mind and hasn't logged in since, which seems to me like the better recovery option in the long-term.

I will also mention the make-a-friend thread, cause that was helpful to me last year (i was undecided back then, but i could imagine it being helpful in recovery as well)*.
the wording of my post may have skewed the responses, but it also gave me the impression that the average lurker here may be more undecided (at least compared to the average post in the main section of the forum).
ur question may be more relevant to them than it is to me, i can't really say how something affects everyone else overall.



* sorry if i said this in a confusing way lol, i dont mean anyone else influenced me, just that it was nice to be able to talk to people ....

 

[FoxSauce]

Well yes but dunno. I can change emotions very quickly but it has helped me to be with people that care for one another.

I can be honest without jugdement and clearly asking simple questions or even join a silly discussion brights my day.

To be honest I have 0 regrets for now.

 

[usernamesarehard]

Honestly the only time I didn't want to ctb, at least not super seriously, was when I was off the site. I came here when I was in a pretty low place because reading the methods and hearing other people's experiences made me feel a bit better.

I made a post here not too long ago and the replies to that made me reconsider.

Now I'm back to being depressed, more than I was before I left. I'm only here holding out hope that my ex will want to get back together, but now I'm just done. I'm depressed, I'm tired, I'm taking meds so I can't sleep all day and I'm forced to stay awake, feeling direction less, I have nothing to look forward to. I don't hate my job, but I don't love it enough to want to stay because of it. Before the break up I had hope. Hope that things would get better, hope that I'd find someone to love me. Now I've lost that. And I've lost the fear I had. I couldn't ctb because I was scared. Now I'd rather die than continue on holding this flame for him and see him move on to someone else.

He told me that dating would be easy for me because I was a woman and that there HAD to have been guys that were interested in me and I just never saw it. I believed him and was proven right. I am ugly, I am undesirable and I'm completely and utterly fucked. And I think that destroyed me. To have that hope that you were wrong only to have reality hit you in the face.

 

[Namelesa]

Its only going to postpone my ctb. Only reason i see for me to live is for me to positively provide others still stuck with life as I don't see death as negative for me as there I have no desires and can't suffer or feel anything. This forum has definitely helped me better cope with life and made me feel like I am of use to others as I can comfort and give advice to people here so its made me stick around to see if I can get better so its easier for me to finish the other things with my life like my game development. Whose I do everything I can to provide others, I will kill myself to spare myself form any future risk of harm that life can bring.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

It's a nice outlet, but other factors in my life have been more substantial to me not CTB. My current thinking is I'm going to keep pushing myself until I break or run out of juice.

 

[Linda]

No effect either way. I knew before I joined that I will ctb if my husband dies before me. That is still the position.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I joined this forum when on a panic attack, on an impulse, and since than I haven't regretted it at all! While there is a fair share of doom and gloom as expected, SaSu is a place where I feel fully integrated in the community. When I participated in other communities, often there were breaking points where I just went away because of some part of my personality. Here, I feel more at ease with being myself and thus makes me feel better about being myself, and about being alive as well.

Mama bear, for example, was probably part of my personality that I never, ever got to express before, and on SaSu, the whole place is brimming with people in need of a caring and loving persona that is always there to reassure people they are important, useful, strong, smart and able. Mama isn't here to solve problems, but rather, she's here to do palliative care, to soothe and reassure, to strengthen and comfort, to be a beacon where all can rest and recover, which is what I think is lacking on the entirety of human existence right now.

The fact that mama has a place to work her magic fills me with purpose and dignity. It feels that for the first time I felt perfectly aligned with a community. She brings me joy, warmth and happiness, because it finally answers the question: "Is there anything I can do right?" I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and as long as there are wayward souls in need of a warm embrace, I will keep doing the right thing.

Mama bear loves all of you, no matter what. She is certainty in a sea of doubt.

 

[seizmic_purple]

I am not sure it reversed my suicidal ideation, but it definitely had an influence on how I navigate it. I feel that SaSu is a place I can always come back to, even in my darkest moments, one that offers not only understanding and support but crucial information that I might not know how to find and evaluate myself (and that would probably end up badly). So, I in a weird way--and in this phase of my life and illness--I am able to rest from the suffering, just knowing SaSu is there.

 

[Fritz]

I am not sure it reversed my suicidal ideation, but it definitely had an influence on how I navigate it. I feel that SaSu is a place I can always come back to, even in my darkest moments, one that offers not only understanding and support but crucial information that I might not know how to find and evaluate myself (and that would probably end up badly). So, I in a weird way--and in this phase of my life and illness--I am able to rest from the suffering, just knowing SaSu is there.

I was going to type a reply, then I read yours. Well said

 

[StupidCat]

It made it most likely since information is power and now I have the power to end my life more easily. But said power also has the reassuring effect of guaranteeing my death when I myself decide to do so. So now I can explore every avenue to solve my issues before ending it all instead of falling to desperation and taking some fleeting chance to ctb.