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alice-jane

alice-jane

Member
Apr 22, 2018
60
this is sort of a last resort for me.
 
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Tiredman

Tiredman

Rest is best
Apr 30, 2018
229
Ive tried it. Idk if it really helped with my depression but it made me get really high so I suggest not taking alot. In small doses I could see it helping to take your mind off of things but in some people pot products could actually make you more depressed. Guess it depends on the person and the strain of the plant that the oil comes from
 
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N

Neo-Schopenhauerian

Member
Apr 16, 2018
32
Alice, if you really want to give life a chance, try racemic ketamine. I really recommend prioritizing this, because the effects of CBD likely won't even be close. I'll include something about anxiolytics at the bottom. I experimented with it years ago (possibly 7) when news was first coming out, about its potential. It definitely works. I used the s-isomer because it has less side effects and duration, but it turns out racemic may be considerably more effective.

Personally, I didn't find it enjoyable at all, but it wasn't that bad. The doses used for depression aren't that high. You just feel dissociated, disconnected from your body, and when you move there's a feeling like there's a lag between your decision to move and the actual movement, which some describe like you're controlling a marionette. It also doesn't tend to trigger anxiety and wasn't very psychedelic at that level. I didn't find it enjoyable at all, so there's zero risk of addiction for me. I've also extensively researched it, and there are no serious concerns about health effects at the doses and frequencies used.

Basically you just lay down for an hour or two and then depression is significantly and rapidly alleviated for a week or two, you have less anhedonia, more motivation.

I don't know if you know anyone who can get some IRL, but although the darknet markets may be intimidating if you're never used them before, it's actually a very easy and safe process. Even if they get caught, which is very unlikely, especially if shipped domestically, particularly if you're in a country with better drug laws, all that happens is that you eventually get a letter stating they've seized it and that's it. Law enforcement does not care about such a small amount of ketamine, there's so much going on that has far higher priority.

I've rented a mailbox at a post office for only $8 a month. Here in the US you can get packages held even if you rent the smallest size, and get things delivered from companies like UPS, FedEx, and DHL if you use street address formatting. Some locations have other perks, like sending you scans of mail you're about to receive or even emailing/texting you when you have a package to pick up.

I'll probably receive some ketamine Monday, and hopefully it will at least ease my suffering and allow me to wrap things up before I go.

I have severe treatment resistant chronic depression and there are really no options left available to me, having even failed Nardil. This is nothing like the typical medication they give you.

I also have chronic anxiety due a neurological disorder. By not responding to pharmaceuticals, do you mean you've tried benzos and they haven't worked? If you don't want to support pharma, you can get unscheduled anxiolytics like etizolam online, which greatly augment exposure therapy. A lot of people also seem to respond well to kava extract.
 
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M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
If you haven't already and you truly believe depression and social anxiety is what is ruining your life, so to speak, I actually recommend seeking for a good therapist. That is, if you haven't tried that already.

It... kinda worked for me for a while, but I was lucky because my therapist was (well, probably still is) a great guy. I know stories of terrible therapists though, so it is kinda like rolling a dice. Plus, therapy is expensive, so... But yeah. I recommend therapy because while it only worked for me temporarily, it did work. So maybe a therapist could actually help fixing the major issues in your life.

No therapy could help me for good, anyways. If you have read my posts around here, that should be obvious.
 
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alice-jane

alice-jane

Member
Apr 22, 2018
60
If you haven't already and you truly believe depression and social anxiety is what is ruining your life, so to speak, I actually recommend seeking for a good therapist. That is, if you haven't tried that already.

It... kinda worked for me for a while, but I was lucky because my therapist was (well, probably still is) a great guy. I know stories of terrible therapists though, so it is kinda like rolling a dice. Plus, therapy is expensive, so... But yeah. I recommend therapy because while it only worked for me temporarily, it did work. So maybe a therapist could actually help fixing the major issues in your life.

No therapy could help me for good, anyways. If you have read my posts around here, that should be obvious.
i've tried a panoply of therapists over the last decades. the improvement is minimal and never holds.
 
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alice-jane

alice-jane

Member
Apr 22, 2018
60
If you haven't already and you truly believe depression and social anxiety is what is ruining your life, so to speak, I actually recommend seeking for a good therapist. That is, if you haven't tried that already.

It... kinda worked for me for a while, but I was lucky because my therapist was (well, probably still is) a great guy. I know stories of terrible therapists though, so it is kinda like rolling a dice. Plus, therapy is expensive, so... But yeah. I recommend therapy because while it only worked for me temporarily, it did work. So maybe a therapist could actually help fixing the major issues in your life.

No therapy could help me for good, anyways. If you have read my posts around here, that should be obvious.
i do see that you are active around here and am getting an idea of your perspective.
 
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alice-jane

alice-jane

Member
Apr 22, 2018
60
Alice, if you really want to give life a chance, try racemic ketamine. I really recommend prioritizing this, because the effects of CBD likely won't even be close. I'll include something about anxiolytics at the bottom. I experimented with it years ago (possibly 7) when news was first coming out, about its potential. It definitely works. I used the s-isomer because it has less side effects and duration, but it turns out racemic may be considerably more effective.

Personally, I didn't find it enjoyable at all, but it wasn't that bad. The doses used for depression aren't that high. You just feel dissociated, disconnected from your body, and when you move there's a feeling like there's a lag between your decision to move and the actual movement, which some describe like you're controlling a marionette. It also doesn't tend to trigger anxiety and wasn't very psychedelic at that level. I didn't find it enjoyable at all, so there's zero risk of addiction for me. I've also extensively researched it, and there are no serious concerns about health effects at the doses and frequencies used.

Basically you just lay down for an hour or two and then depression is significantly and rapidly alleviated for a week or two, you have less anhedonia, more motivation.

I don't know if you know anyone who can get some IRL, but although the darknet markets may be intimidating if you're never used them before, it's actually a very easy and safe process. Even if they get caught, which is very unlikely, especially if shipped domestically, particularly if you're in a country with better drug laws, all that happens is that you eventually get a letter stating they've seized it and that's it. Law enforcement does not care about such a small amount of ketamine, there's so much going on that has far higher priority.

I've rented a mailbox at a post office for only $8 a month. Here in the US you can get packages held even if you rent the smallest size, and get things delivered from companies like UPS, FedEx, and DHL if you use street address formatting. Some locations have other perks, like sending you scans of mail you're about to receive or even emailing/texting you when you have a package to pick up.

I'll probably receive some ketamine Monday, and hopefully it will at least ease my suffering and allow me to wrap things up before I go.

I have severe treatment resistant chronic depression and there are really no options left available to me, having even failed Nardil. This is nothing like the typical medication they give you.

I also have chronic anxiety due a neurological disorder. By not responding to pharmaceuticals, do you mean you've tried benzos and they haven't worked? If you don't want to support pharma, you can get unscheduled anxiolytics like etizolam online, which greatly augment exposure therapy. A lot of people also seem to respond well to kava extract.
i don't think i'd like the ketamine from how you describe the delayed action after thought effect. maybe it just sounds like too much effort and expense to try to get something on the dark web. i am too depressed for an undertaking like that. i have some fixed idea that what will help me is herbal/plant based. i haven't tried benzos but keep away from stuff like that because i'm a recovering alcoholic. too addictive. but maybe i'd be in bliss and then od?! hmmm... maybe i should look into unscheduled anxiolytics like etizolam. that is new to me. no idea what that is.
 
M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
i've tried a panoply of therapists over the last decades. the improvement is minimal and never holds.
I see. So it is the same as me, only temporary and very minor improvements. Well, at least you tried.
 
alice-jane

alice-jane

Member
Apr 22, 2018
60
Ive tried it. Idk if it really helped with my depression but it made me get really high so I suggest not taking alot. In small doses I could see it helping to take your mind off of things but in some people pot products could actually make you more depressed. Guess it depends on the person and the strain of the plant that the oil comes from
thank you for sharing your experience with it. i know from experimenting with that plant in college that i am very sensitive to it. it actually made me hypersensitive to everything, and i am already hypersensitive without any substance at all. i like to think the oil would be different.
 

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