Has anyone not been taken seriously for talking about Emotional Abuse/Psychological Abuse?

[BornofDust]

Has anyone's problems and issue's ever been dismissed and not taking seriously? Especially if what you experience is mostly psychological and emotional I'm saying this because I saw a twitter post about an actress experience with a well-known and famous film director was and has been emotionally abusive for years, and I saw one comment saying something like " atrocities are happening all over the world, All the children were killed except one girl whose skin was melted and looked like burnt plastic but not liking her tattoo... that's the real atrocity in the world." and other stuff like that from some people on twitter, and it honestly triggered me( not as strongly as I expected it too), and also angered me( granted their was a lot of support too) hence this question.

I remember when I expressed things that happen to me, especially to my my counselor, most people, even my counsellor ended up not taking me seriously or even outright mocked behind my back, just like everyone else did when some people ended up telling others what I told them what I went through, which caused me to feel even more pathetic then before, I still do. Sometimes I wonder if what I've been through isn't that bad and I'm just too weak for this world. Sometimes I wished that I was tougher, or just simply not say anything at all, since unless your beaten to a pulp, you are just a " whiney brat." I mean I know why people do this but it honestly sucks you know.

Just wondering if you guys have experience that type of invalidation and not being taken seriously in emotional and psychological abuse?

 

[ashedout]

I hate when people try to minimize others pain just because someone somewhere in the world has it worse. Just because something could have been worse or whatever doesn't mean it wasn't still bad. Pain is pain, ya know? I'm so sorry to hear that the trauma and pain you have had was minimized by the people around you, especially your counsellor. It is unfortunately a thing that happens a lot - especially over the internet when we are bombarded with so many atrocities in the world. I think when people are trying to dismiss things as not bad or not worthy of the attention it's getting, they are trying to give themselves permission to not care about it or minimize it because their own trauma was dismissed. That is a reflection on them and not you! It's one thing to have boundaries and priorities or differing opinions but it is beyond any of that to go out of the way to put someone down or kick them when they're down.

I've had it happen to me a few times (namely in high school when I had less control over what people knew about me) but as I've grown older, I'm a lot more careful about who knows what. Or my old job had managers gaslight me every which way and turn all the problems I was having back onto myself and make it seem like it was all in my head. I just now try not to get validation or anything from those around me in real life or the internet and keep that need fulfillment between me and my therapist. It can be pretty tough on the days when I'm really struggling and having to push through without anyone knowing but there's only so many times you can let yourself be vulnerable and get hurt so who knows what the answer is here. In any case, I hope things get better for you! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to :)

 

[wordsonscreen]

Dude. All the time. I think people do it so they dont have to feel the pain or they dont want to admit their own privilege or feel a sense of responsibility/connection.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Oh yes, quite a few times. My mom totally minimized my brother's abuse, but he was also her favorite. No one takes sibling abuse seriously anyway, because everyone just sees it as normal sibling rivalry. So did I until I became an adult and realized what I went through wasn't the normal kind.

The first time I told someone I wanted to kill myself was a little over 10 years ago and they just told me I was being silly. When I talk to people about my depression, and especially anxiety, a lot of times they just don't take me seriously. I sometimes think it's because I'm an attractive, young white woman and we have it the easiest. It's strange because I'm told that we're the only ones people care about, but then I'm also told to shut the hell up about my problems because other people have it worse. Everyone talks to me like everything is an easy fix or makes me feel like I'm exaggerating everything. I've learned to just not open up to most people about it, and keep most of it to myself (except on here) because I can't stand not being taken seriously and that's usually what happens. Having your problems being invalidated is an awful feeling, especially when what you're experiencing is making you want to MURDER yourself.

To me, it doesn't matter what it seems like on paper, it's how your brain reacts it to that matters. It's not really about the external, pain is all about what's happening internally. There are people who have seriously horrible lives, have gone through a lot and have seen awful things and are still somewhat unaffected mentally. Then another person who maybe has only had one "small" trauma in their life, but their brain is just wired differently and it's affecting them far more than the other guy. Should a person who gets smacked around and verbally abused everyday and feels like they're trapped and can't leave not be taken seriously, just because people like Kelly Anne Bates had it far worse?

I'm sorry you've dealt with this. Your problems matter and don't let other people tell you differently because they have no idea what you're actually going through.

 

[WornOutLife]

My parents (especially my dad) are the best but when I was a teenager my first high school years were hell. Too much psychological damage and well, I tried talking to them but they thought things like "come on, can't be that bad. Just make some friends."
They had no idea how alone I was. I hated it.

However, years later, I talked to them about it and they were really sorry because they had finally understood how I felt.

It was a traumatic experience but that made me stronger (although suicidal) and I have no trouble for making friends now. (I've decided to be alone for now, though. Being lonely is not that bad.)

 

[Disappointered]

I've had psychiatrists and counseling family docs completely minimize my situation growing up in my bizarre family of neglect and social anomaly. In some instances they were abusive. They got me, over time, to despise them and their profession.