FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,696
I am extremely sucidial still.

I feel like packing my bags, buying a rail ticket and moving far away to a town/city in which no one knows who i am.

Has anyone one just left everything and everyone behind . I went far away
 
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TicoDK

TicoDK

Member
May 14, 2020
13
I felt like doing that but as part of the suicide process, but then COVID locked down everything...

Also part of why I want to suicide is that I canot function all by myself, Asperger or something.
I only go to places and talk to people I know from 20+ years ago.
 
I

Iwantoutrightnow

Experienced
Jun 27, 2019
274
Do you mean move to ctb or to start again?

I moved to start again, trouble is I brought my baggage with me. Wherever I go I take me with me.

If getting away from certain people will help you then it's worth a try. It's hard though and it requires you to leave the pain behind with the people and and the place you leave.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Yes, I moved to another country. I ended up in an abusive situation that I had to flee from. I ended up coming back to my home country with no apartment, no job, and a pile of debt. All I really did was carry my emotional baggage from one location to another, and before I knew it my "new" life had morphed into a negative situation that mirrored the one I'd left behind
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,865
I am extremely sucidial still.

I feel like packing my bags, buying a rail ticket and moving far away to a town/city in which no one knows who i am.

Has anyone one just left everything and everyone behind . I went far away

I did this so many times when I was your age, I can't count them all.
One time I went as far away as Alaska, and ended up homeless, sleeping in a van by the ocean. I often thought of drowning myself in that black water, but there were good times, too. I made a lot of friends who were as fucked up in the head as I was. It was hard, but I did it. It made me stronger.
Another time I moved across the country to be with a girl who I found out after I moved there didn't want me anymore. I became suicidal again, and would get drunk at bars and try to start fights. I eventually got a good job, made some very good friends, and even had several girlfriends there. It ended up being the happiest time of my life. Of course I eventually sabotaged it all, because that's what I do. But it gave me confidence. I can start a new life, I can get the girl.

Go do it. Do it now, while you're young and invincible. That's how you learn who you are. That's what life is for. Be smart, and you'll be okay.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
I am extremely sucidial still.

I feel like packing my bags, buying a rail ticket and moving far away to a town/city in which no one knows who i am.

Has anyone one just left everything and everyone behind . I went far away

A lot of people feel that urge. Sometimes it is practical to act on it, sometimes unfortunately not. If you're in a position where you can't currently act on it, perhaps it is worth listing the attractions of moving somewhere else, and then considering whether you can fully or at least partially implement these where you are currently? So for example if there are toxic people you want to physically move away from, consider whether instead you can just sever communication with them locally.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I left after graduating and never went back, and I highly recommend it. Yes, you'll be there no matter where you go, but once you get over that disappointment you *can* start over.
 
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Eternal Pessimist

Eternal Pessimist

Student
Oct 16, 2019
178
I kind of did this once. After graduating I moved to another country for a bit to study, but unfortunately I didn't make a clean break from the past. I really should have moved both mentally and physically and let go of things, but I didn't and stayed stuck mentally. I ended up coming back to where I came from and I regret it every day even though I know regret is useless and things might have not turned out well even if I had stayed.

I still fantasize about doing it again and making as clean a break as possible this time. I don't want my relatives to think I've just disappeared or even died, but I would like to leave them behind as much as possible. Not because they're terrible or anything but because I think it would help me move on.
 
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K

Kumachan

Specialist
Mar 5, 2020
396
I am extremely sucidial still.

I feel like packing my bags, buying a rail ticket and moving far away to a town/city in which no one knows who i am.

Has anyone one just left everything and everyone behind . I went far away
Done that, quit my job and went to India in 2008 ended up traveling/living around SE asia China for 12 years
 
Brink

Brink

Exhausted. RadHomo.
Feb 11, 2020
625
I was younger than you and one day I packed my bags, flew across the Atlantic and moved in with a guy - leaving everything behind. We got married a few months later.

I think you should get to experience life on your own in a new environment, but I do not recommend living through another person. I completely lost my (already insecure and fractured) identity and ended up living in his shadow.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,696
I left after graduating and never went back, and I highly recommend it. Yes, you'll be there no matter where you go, but once you get over that disappointment you *can* start over.
Cool where did you go after graduating?
I was younger than you and one day I packed my bags, flew across the Atlantic and moved in with a guy - leaving everything behind. We got married a few months later.

I think you should get to experience life on your own in a new environment, but I do not recommend living through another person. I completely lost my (already insecure and fractured) identity and ended up living in his shadow.
How are you now?
I sometimes think having a relationship will give me a lot to live for
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
@FireFox, I went wherever I could get sent for free, since I had no money to travel. In my case it was a Central European student exchange. It might have been the Peace Corps or something like that. Law Students Without Borders. See what's available, and take a step forward. Once you're in motion it all gets easier. x
 
enjolras

enjolras

Dead are useless if not to love the living more
Feb 13, 2020
1,293
I changed of country during the new year's night because of danger / life threatening persecution. We left all friends and family behind, not telling where we were heading to. The purpose was to hide indefinitely (9 years ago)
The move was only a quarter of a choice, and the destination a half one. Past the adventure, I didn't like to become an expat. I found out that I would never master the foreign language and culture to blend. I lost my roots. Figured out that before, family (of my age) was the most important key element to me. Friends come and go or are replaceable because with time everything changes, people go separate ways and that's fine.
If I had to start over, I would have preferred to stay settled down. In any case, I'd rather choose a familiar destination without a lot of challenges if I was to leave alone. Relationships are important. I hit isolation instead. But if you have nothing to lose or feel in a dead end trap. Try it
 
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Brink

Brink

Exhausted. RadHomo.
Feb 11, 2020
625
How are you now?
I sometimes think having a relationship will give me a lot to live for
Well, I'm here... but tbf I cannot blame him as many of my issues stem from childhood and society, and my failures and conduct.

A relationship does give you a sense of purpose and many reasons to live for, and I think you learn more about yourself in a relationship than being single.

There's a difference though between living through someone and being in a healthy relationship. Within the context of the OP, you can move and start a life together, or you can move into someone else's life, if you know what I mean?
 
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