Discussion Has anyone IRL given you 'permission' to commit suicide?

[StarryEyed]

I'm curious if anyone here has had 'permission' from someone close to them IRL to commit suicide? Whether you have or have not had permission, how has this affected you?

I'll go first... It has only been recently that two people have given me permission - my brother and one friend. It has not impacted my decision whether or not to commit suicide - consciously anyway. But it has made me feel totally loved and accepted, even in all my brokenness. And that has made the world of difference in living. Recently my brother said to me, "I'm not trying to fix you". That is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Share your vote and your experience too if you want. I'd love to hear from you. This poll will close in one month, on October 11.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Yep..somebody in the family. But since then I have just shut up because you want to minimise pain etc.

 

[StarryEyed]

Yep..somebody in the family. But since then I have just shut up because you want to minimise pain etc.

Do you mean to minimise their pain or your pain by shutting up? Or perhaps both?

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Do you mean to minimise their pain or your pain by shutting up? Or perhaps both?

Their pain primarily. Maybe a little of mine too. I just keep quiet from now on.

 

[StarryEyed]

Their pain primarily. Maybe a little of mine too. I just keep quiet from now on.

Yeah, maybe it's like with me, in that how do you explain it to someone who isn't suicidal? My brother thought about it once fleetingly about 20 years ago, and my friend who gave me permission says she thinks about it off and on. But still it's hard to talk about for any of us. I mean, there's not really much to say, right? I find it easier to write about it in solitude. Well, I'm not really technically in solitude because I'm writing on the forum. Anyway, I like the slow pace of thinking when writing. And the slow pace of replies here. I have dreadful issues with anxiety IRL, but with the slow pace of writing back and forth on the forum, my anxiety is typically almost nonexistent.

So we don't talk about it a lot, but they know where my mind is at, and it means the world to me. It's like my suicidal thoughts are now anchored in reality with them, and they've validated my pain.