My family and therapists I've seen don't take my suicidal thoughts seriously. I've flat out said I want to kill myself and if I could do that with the right method without fear of ending up in a worse place or position I would. I've even told them that I've stayed up all night crying contemplating if I should do something to kill myself then and there. However even though I've mentioned this several times it's ignored and I have been told my family I am manipulative saying I'm suicidal. Is anyone alone in this, just feels like no one cares if I live or die since I'm already so much of a burden
NitriteAnatomy
Lost. Alone. Trapped. Need escape.
- Nov 21, 2019
- 450
You'll find many of us have experienced this. I announced these types of feelings to therapists, family, what little amount of friends I had throughout my shitty life and all of them either laughed or ignored it completely. You aren't alone in that emotion or burden, but know this much. Random internet strangers or not, we on here, do understand and we are here for each other as best we can be. That includes you.
6ixxy
I sank so she could swim
- Apr 26, 2019
- 273
Saying to someone that "I wish I was dead" has become more like satire than a serious call for help, most likely due to the way it's become the 'norm' to say things like that. People have become so desensitised towards it that when people are genuinely feeling that way, it's brushed off as a joke.
noctiva
the invisible girl
- Nov 6, 2019
- 393
Yes, I told the two closest people in my life. They don't take me seriously. It hurts like hell, and I know now that I need to to die to be believed and taken seriously. But it is okay. They will not believe me or love me until I'm dead.
Thank you both for your kind responses. I believe what I've been sharing with those around me has gone beyond just the casual alarm of "I wish I was dead" however there's been several times I am told that I am using suicidal ideation as a form of manipulation and when it comes to my family they say well it's your choice if you're feeling that way which just has me wanting to go through with a plan all the more.
yes so many people, but my mother is probably the number one. My old therapist has told her many times "your daughter is planning to kill herself" and she'll act concerned for one day, and then pretend like nothings wrong the next day. Soon she'll learn and realise that she shouldn't have ignored them, but by then it'll be too late
Apathy79
Arcanist
- Oct 13, 2019
- 489
Are you trying to get them to talk you out of it? It sounds like they don't believe you'll go through with it but so what? Isn't that basically a green light?
The internet is partially to blame for turning suicidal indentation into a joke. Now it's the "cry for help" thing - it seems like people do notice it but think it'd be better to if it's it because a "cry for help" is more of a cry for attention. For the most part they're right. The population of edgy kids who want to stand out and use the most shocking things for it is far higher than before, and they're screaming about how they want to kill themselves because that's a popular thing to do. This, in turn, leads to what happens when somebody mentions suicide - it's accepted as a sort of joke.
Yes and no. Ideally I would like help with how to heal and get better even though it's been years of this. I want my parents and family to feel love for me as I haven't gotten that need fulfilled by them since I was a small child or ever tbh. I want them to support me through a journey to get better both emotionally and financially they have the resources to. If all my problems could go away and health issues and I could heal my heart and get better I totally would choose life. There's a lot of things I would like to do in life but haven't been able to due to lack of resources and my health. I haven't gone through with a suicide in years because I'm worried my health, body, and situation will end up worse than it is. I believe if I attempt and fail that would be reason enough for my parents to put my in a psych ward for life they'd also never visit me I also don't want my health to decline any more than it already has. I've learned through the years that things can always get worse than you think of what is is now.
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Apathy79
Arcanist
- Oct 13, 2019
- 489
Ah OK. If I'm hearing you right, what you want most from them is love and support. It might not fix your health and financial issues, but it would go a long way towards feeling optimistic about living. At the moment, you don't feel like you are getting that love and support. They think you are trying to manipulate them by making up stories about being suicidal and therefore dismiss many of your complaints as attention seeking.
I think you'll find many here who can empathise with your situation - these pages are riddled with similar stories. And it's a community that does the best it can to provide love and support to people just like you. It's never going to be the same as getting it from your parents, but hopefully it helps a little.
As for solutions, I really don't have anything solid. My hunch is however cold your parents seem, they must still love you. It's in there somewhere. If they think you are trying to manipulate them by threatening suicide, then all I could suggest is focusing more on what is getting you down, what's within your control to work on and what you feel you need from them in order to move forward with life. Rather than focusing on the suicidal thoughts so much. And see if that makes any difference. Failing that, I'd just try to love them as well as you are capable without any motive. If they don't feel like they are being manipulated into giving you love and support, but instead just reciprocating what you give them, they might open up a little. And even if they don't, you might feel a little better about yourself.
And if worse comes to worst and you decide suicide is the only option, at least you'll know you gave it your best shot, and there's a community here to help with that avenue too.
JustHeckinKillMe
Cool I'm dead
- Sep 26, 2019
- 122
They can't do anything even if they didn't ignore me. How would they help someone telling them they want to die? Moral support would have been nice but it's not gonna help you die. They're not gonna risk going to jail to help you die. Thankfully we have SS and likeminded persons who are willing to share information to ctb. But at the end of the day, only you can save/kill yourself.
Fiadh
Member
- Dec 12, 2019
- 35
I think people get uncomfortable talking about death. In my experience they prefer to ignore that there is a real problem or they get annoyed and start to distance themselves from you because you are " that one who brings the mood down".
NeCkDeEp
Experienced
- Nov 30, 2019
- 285
Yes. Some people have stopped talking to me since I confessed how suicidal I am, one person who I considered as a friend started guilt tripping me when I told her about my failed attempt. 2 days later and she didn't check on me, do people really care?
TearyEyedQueen
In the wrong timeline
- Nov 14, 2019
- 366
My parents. They somehow got the idea that the child who was partially depressed due to academic stress should be even more pressured.
This was my dad but then I realized he hated his life. The constant academic stress and pressure was his way of punishment. I dunno about anyone else experience but this was mine. I was truly burned out by end of high school. Boy did he work us. I remember studying 7 hours a day for 10 years for grades that didn't matter
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When I lived with my ex I had a noose in the closet :)
She never asked why it is there.
Probably didn't take it seriously but she was mad when I cut myself.
Weird
Oh and my psychiatrist response to admiting having suicidal ideations is my favorite: why didn't you kill yourself yet?
She never asked why it is there.
Probably didn't take it seriously but she was mad when I cut myself.
Weird
Oh and my psychiatrist response to admiting having suicidal ideations is my favorite: why didn't you kill yourself yet?
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Yes
I told the truth: can't kill myself brutally and just don't have reliable method currently.
Do you think she was unprofessional?
So unprofessional and downright cruel! I can't even believe someone would say something so disgusting. My mouth is literally open. I heard some things but I ain't never heard that before. I dig your response. I just never heard someone say this type of thing before and I heard some things
It didn't affect me in the slightest though
I assumed it was her way of asking how serious it was
Every damn day it gets ignored but they will know I was dead serious once it's too late. I thought reaching out and telling them how feel and how they could help me would work but nope....family dismisses me, ex ignores me.
Yep, I rang my crisis team and told them I didn't feel well. That I'd been cutting chunks of hair off my head, that I was going to pick up months worth of medication for the first time in two years and felt so overwhelmed about it that I was worried I was going to overdose. That my mood was very low and I felt suicidal. I was told to ring my doctor?!?!?? But that's what the crisis team is for? So tried my doctor but no appointments available according to the receptionists. Called everyday for a week because I felt suicidal but no appointments. Then a couple of days later I added up my debt and I scared me, I saw the first Christmas advert of the year and had a panic attack. Christmas for me isn't a good experience. On top of everything else I decided to overdose and try to end everything. Had a spell in hospital but after discharge was told to make an urgent appointment with my gp but it took three weeks to get one. I've started to go down hill again and am thinking the hanging method would be more appropriate. The only thing that's stopping me is the upset I caused my family when I overdosed three weeks ago. The tears in my parents eyes shocked me. I promised them I'd never do it again, they don't know it was my second time, the first a friend found me and after hospital I stayed at his so managed to keep it quiet. I'm at the end of everything but can't make that final step x
Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
Yes. I actually vented last night and was talking about how I'm ultra rapid cycling (Bipolar) and one of these days I will actually end it, how it's inevitable. Then this morning I expressed how I'm actively suicide, no response so far.
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