Has anyone here suffering from a lot of isolation?

[DesperateOne]

I've always been weird, but I still managed to be somewhat social when I was a child. Well, social is a big word... I was more so just around people, and since I didn't know how to socialize I was filled with fight or flight feeling 24/7, but hey... at least I was among fellow humans.

When I got internet access though I started isolating more and more. It was not normal in elementary school, it went to extremes in high school and to even bigger extremes after 20's. I feel like I'm not even human anymore, isolation has done so much damage it's unreal...

Has anyone else been screwed beyond belief when it comes to this? I want to see if I'm really alone...

 

[hikikomorizombie]

def can relate to the not feeling human anymore thing. i've been alone for so long it doesn't rlly bother me anymore.

after the 2nd year i stopped yearning for connections/relationships. my isolation's allowed me to see just how vapid & unbearable 99% of humanity is, & i no longer have any desire to be a part of itit would be nice to @ least find My Person, though. just 1 person i can truly connect w & relate to. but ik they don't exist & i gave up on finding them when i was 19 :p

 

[26mmmm]

I've always been weird, but I still managed to be somewhat social when I was a child. Well, social is a big word... I was more so just around people, and since I didn't know how to socialize I was filled with fight or flight feeling 24/7, but hey... at least I was among fellow humans.

When I got internet access though I started isolating more and more. It was not normal in elementary school, it went to extremes in high school and to even bigger extremes after 20's. I feel like I'm not even human anymore, isolation has done so much damage it's unreal...

Has anyone else been screwed beyond belief when it comes to this? I want to see if I'm really alone...

I don't think we realize yet just how awful isolation and some technology is, especially when combined with other bad things.
We're aware of the mental health epidemic and rising suicide rates but there doesn't seem to be much done about it.
You're right about not feeling human, you just forget how to be human at some point by not doing anything social or most normal human things for so long.

 

[DesperateOne]

def can relate to the not feeling human anymore thing. i've been alone for so long it doesn't rlly bother me anymore.

after the 2nd year i stopped yearning for connections/relationships. my isolation's allowed me to see just how vapid & unbearable 99% of humanity is, & i no longer have any desire to be a part of itit would be nice to @ least find My Person, though. just 1 person i can truly connect w & relate to. but ik they don't exist & i gave up on finding them when i was 19 :p

Yeah, it really does show you that majority of social interactions is just an act and that act follows carefully constructed rules. Only when you perfectly follow them and peel off the layers you can have that tiny bit of honesty and love with another person, but even that is clouded by a bunch of shit.

I deeply want someone that I can truly connect with as well, but I know that is just a fantasy. I tried reintegrating into my countries culture/society, but it seems like after a certain period of isolation that just becomes impossible. The amount of baggage thats under my school is also fucking nuts...

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Yeah, it really does show you that majority of social interactions is just an act and that act follows carefully constructed rules. Only when you perfectly follow them and peel off the layers you can have that tiny bit of honesty and love with another person, but even that is clouded by a bunch of shit.

!!!! that's 1 of the main reasons i stopped bothering trying to establish bonds w ppl. legit every1 buys into the whole persona/masking thing, & it's so boring + unnecessary. i discarded that long ago & am 100% myself in all spaces & interactions. i thought it'd help me find My Person. that was not the case, lol.

it just made me painfully aware of how much pretending & acting every1 else is doing. i'm completely uninterested in the rat race to appear the prettiest or the most interesting/fun or the coolest or the most nonchalant. i just wanted to be me & meet other ppl that are unapologetically them :// sigh.

 

[DesperateOne]

I don't think we realize yet just how awful isolation and some technology is, especially when combined with other bad things.
We're aware of the mental health epidemic and rising suicide rates but there doesn't seem to be much done about it.
You're right about not feeling human, you just forget how to be human at some point by not doing anything social or most normal human things for so long.

Yeah, some studies are willdddd. Read some stories from teachers as well on how gen alpha is like in school... Crazy stuff. These stories give the vibes that we are sailing down a river and at end there's a giant drop. Feels like everyone knows what the problem is, but we are too addicted to do anything about it. We trapped ourselves in a jail cell and threw the keys out on the corridor.

I agree with that second part as well. I think there's still this piece of my soul from childhood that is human and wants to have friends and socialize, but the amount of darkness that's over that little me is too much... It changed me beyond repair.

 

[ThymeToLeave]

Yes I'm isolated but it's self-imposed out of fear of more bad experiences. When I was less isolated I had so many I feel more bad experiences would be inevitable if I ended my isolation. But of course I'm still quite lonely and miserable even if I'm better off this way. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

 

[26mmmm]

Yes I'm isolated but it's self-imposed out of fear of more bad experiences. When I was less isolated I had so many I feel more bad experiences would be inevitable if I ended my isolation. But of course I'm still quite lonely and miserable even if I'm better off this way. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

It being self imposed doesn't mean it is your fault. In my case my parents never forced me to isolate, but they gave me that option by setting no boundaries and they have caused for it to happen by raising me wrong, and overtime bad experiences just caused me to isolate more and more.

 

[1sadtran]

I've always been weird, but I still managed to be somewhat social when I was a child. Well, social is a big word... I was more so just around people, and since I didn't know how to socialize I was filled with fight or flight feeling 24/7, but hey... at least I was among fellow humans.

When I got internet access though I started isolating more and more. It was not normal in elementary school, it went to extremes in high school and to even bigger extremes after 20's. I feel like I'm not even human anymore, isolation has done so much damage it's unreal...

Has anyone else been screwed beyond belief when it comes to this? I want to see if I'm really alone...

isolation is comfy

 

[divinemistress36]

I've isolated myself for so long I don't even really know what's going on in the current world. People talk about new technology, events, and politics and I have no clue what they are talking about I feel quite alone

 

[Gonnerr]

Yes, Ive been alone almost all my adulthood, i remember how painful it was being alone in my first apartment but i got use to it.

I got a few friends and had a few girlfriends , i dont know how i did that but fortunatly it made my 20's and 30's better. Now in my 40's alone , unhealthy, alone male, statistically most likely to die by suicide.

I am an highly functional autistic but this is a curse because if i would be fully autistic , i would be living in special care building with other people.

Socially gifted people don't realize how lucky they are , yes shit happens to everybody but its harder when you are alone to deal with it.

 

[Ernest1964]

I am a self isolationist. The more people who are involved in my life, the more my life lacks peace and serenity. I don't want to go out... it's usually too peopley out there.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I've been alone all of my life aside from one online friend. Just one online friend is all I ever had for my entire existence. During my entire life, I went to school and college but I'd say that I socialised less than those who were homeschooled. I never really had a single conversation with anybody in school once and then the same applied for college. For university, since I'm forced to do group work, I talked to people then but only what was mandatory and nothing beyond this.

Because of how I never really talked, I never made a single friend or acquaintance during my entire life. I'd say that I became invisible with nobody acknowledging my presence except bullies. Even the teachers didn't know my name despite doing attendance every single school/college day

I feel conflicted about this loneliness. On one hand, it hurts that I'm not socialised because I'm a human being who needs socialisation. On the other hand, learning how to socialise with others sounds exhausting and being with friends even more so. I don't even know what making a friend is like. I don't know what friendship is like. I keep on hearing different stories that all contradict each other and I don't know what to believe. People say that friendship is beautiful, others say that it only leads to betrayal. But, either way, I still don't understand what people do with each other. How do people talk to each other for more than 20 seconds?

Just to clarify, me typing this message to you is more socialisation for me than I ever had throughout my entire life which is excluding me from speaking to family and that one online friend I've mentioned. That's how lonely I am.. how lonely I've ever been. I feel like I'm invisible even on this site too but I want to believe that I'm apathetic to loneliness.

I wish that I could get exploited in a friendship instead of being invisible then at least I could find solace in being alone. But, right now, this loneliness is like no other.. it's something that the majority of people here can't understand

 

[R_N]

Isolation comforts me. I would be suffering around insufferable.

 

[Joker2003]

I have been incredibly isolated since early high school and covid only made that isolation worse. I am autistic and my psychologist diagnosed me with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Social Avoidant Features."

I was bullied in school, so now I avoid all social interaction like the plague in fear of being hurt again. Being isolated feels like hell on Earth, but so does being around others. It is a curse.

 

[tbroken]

I'm not that weird after all, i'm more of a semi-serious disappointed guy born in a place he hates as hell. I've always been that serious and i had a good culture level and intellect from when i was young, unfortunately bad encounters led to bad habits that led to bad life decisions that finally led me here. I also had two minor health problems during youth, that with more care from doctors and parents could have been avoided, but funny thing: it was me to discover the problem, but i was too young to take action and solve it and i was frightened and shameful as hell. I blame the environment for my failures and that's why i decided to be alone.

 

[imnotsurewhy]

can relate.i just i like i m out of place if i try to socialize now

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, but I enjoy isolation. The isolation I'm in right now is self-imposed. I have Asperger's, ADHD, and social anxiety, and I've come to the realization that I enjoy being alone. I hate socializing, I hate having to talk to, interact with, and be around people. I've never felt human but I never even wanted to be human anyways. I've always wanted to be a cat, cats have the best lives. Whoever says otherwise is totally lying…

 

[thegoldengirls]

I've always been weird, but I still managed to be somewhat social when I was a child. Well, social is a big word... I was more so just around people, and since I didn't know how to socialize I was filled with fight or flight feeling 24/7, but hey... at least I was among fellow humans.

When I got internet access though I started isolating more and more. It was not normal in elementary school, it went to extremes in high school and to even bigger extremes after 20's. I feel like I'm not even human anymore, isolation has done so much damage it's unreal...

Has anyone else been screwed beyond belief when it comes to this? I want to see if I'm really alone...

Yes, since my depression has progressed, I've been isolating more and more. Prior to the decline of my mental health, I still struggled socially.
I'm an overthinker, always been depressed but the issue is that I never had friends growing up. I was perpetually bullied all throughout my school years, and it finally stopped around high school.
So, I missed that vital stage in my childhood where other children learn how to interact with their peers. I'm always in my head, moreso when I'm having a depressive episode.
As a result I always feel and felt like an outsider. An alien trying to mimic human beings. Most of the time, the interaction with other people is just so exhausting and a chore that I don't even bother anymore. Everything is surface level anyway.
Before my depression got really bad, I was able to mask all of this
Now, I just smile and stick to myself at work, pretend to be busy, lie and say I have a headache to excuse my being quiet, etc.
It's just too painful when you see other people who are seemingly happy conversing, and yet you feel so miserable and heavy hearted. I burst into tears daily at work now because I'm so unhappy.
Of course, I just go to the bathroom to cry. Some days are better than others though. So, I completely understand where you are coming from.

 

[notforl0ng]

I'm not gonna lie, the more time I spend as a hermit in my room the more I fucking hate going outside and dealing with the monkeys. Even just going to get a coffee leaves me extremely depressed. My home town has addicts and homeless people running around like it's the purge. There aren't any decent friends to make here if that makes any sense, or at least I don't think there are.

I wish it was truly possible to be happy with zero human contact. It's really not.

 

[Erick]

I've always been weird, but I still managed to be somewhat social when I was a child. Well, social is a big word... I was more so just around people, and since I didn't know how to socialize I was filled with fight or flight feeling 24/7, but hey... at least I was among fellow humans.

When I got internet access though I started isolating more and more. It was not normal in elementary school, it went to extremes in high school and to even bigger extremes after 20's. I feel like I'm not even human anymore, isolation has done so much damage it's unreal...

Has anyone else been screwed beyond belief when it comes to this? I want to see if I'm really alone...

I've been isolated for a year. Living totally alone in my apartment, while my friends go out without me. I used to go out a lot and talk to girls and people in general, but after I got my disease, I can't have that lifestyle anymore and got totally isolated like a serial killer who has to spend his whole life in prison. In fact, I would rather be healthy in jail with other criminals to share the same life as me, rather than being trapped in my own bubble of loneliness around normal people that are living their social lives in front of me.

 

[tbroken]

I've been isolated for a year. Living totally alone in my apartment, while my friends go out without me. I used to go out a lot and talk to girls and people in general, but after I got my disease, I can't have that lifestyle anymore and got totally isolated like a serial killer who has to spend his whole life in prison. In fact, I would rather be healthy in jail with other criminals to share the same life as me, rather than being trapped in my own bubble of loneliness around normal people that are living their social lives in front of me.

The same happened to me and it was also for more than one year. Now i don't have problems socializing anymore, but i have a lot of distrust or expectations.
Plus people do a lot of stupid things nowadays, so i forgave my self.

 

[Erick]

I've isolated myself for so long I don't even really know what's going on in the current world. People talk about new technology, events, and politics and I have no clue what they are talking about I feel quite alone

Exactly. I used to watch the news, and knew a lot of what was going in the world, but it's been a year since I have no idea what's going on in the world.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Have some online friends but very isolated IRL, one friend who I visit once per year for a day. Would ideally just find a partner and be isolated with each other.

 

[Bunnybrains]

before I moved I was a super isolated person- but I still went to the grocery store, rode the bus into towns where I had friends. we'd smoke weed, gang out in the woods, get coffee or play dnd. and when my friends where back in town from college if felt like I actually had a life. even when things where hard well- I still had my family. my aunt. my partner and best friends. now? other then bring dragged to the grocery store I haven't left my house in months. family visited for my birthday... but I literally go weeks on end not talking to anyone other then my mom not virtually. I don't have a life treatment options or people anymore. it's all gone. any semblance of wanting to talk to people disappeared. my neighbors are always out to get us and there's nobody to talk too.