LADY007
Specialist
- Feb 25, 2020
- 372
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If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
Sprite_Geist
NULL
- May 27, 2020
- 1,593
No. People do the opposite of stalk me. I tend to have that effect on people... it seems.
What's your relevant life experience, that causes you to make such sweeping statements?
I've got a stalker, have had for years. It's why I'm on SS. I tolerated the behavior until I couldn't function anymore, because what choice did I have? Sometimes there aren't great options for getting help and/or getting away from it. What else was I supposed to do?
Also, I mean, what "clarity" is going to help me "make the break"? What does that look like? How does it make stalking end? How does it help the stalking victim recover?
Of course I've been affected by being stalked. Of course it's affected me mentally. I've been stalked for years. Like a lot of stalking victims, I have PTSD because being stalked is traumatic. WTF is someone doing on a site like this just telling people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get over it?
Darkmoon Queen
Specialist
- Apr 1, 2020
- 396
Two, yeah. One in university who was an alcoholic drug addict with mental health problems who thought I was another incarnation of his ex and went between putting videos of himself singing songs to me on Youtube and then spreading rumours that I was hacking his devices to make them malfunction. The ex caught wind of it and contacted me and ended up taking him to court.
One a few years after, an older Italian man looking for a bit of extra curricular activity, shall we say. I had to go scorched earth so he couldn't find me anymore.
Being stalked makes you very lonely because everyone thinks you're encouraging it and police don't do anything until they've actually attacked you. You often have to disappear.
One a few years after, an older Italian man looking for a bit of extra curricular activity, shall we say. I had to go scorched earth so he couldn't find me anymore.
Being stalked makes you very lonely because everyone thinks you're encouraging it and police don't do anything until they've actually attacked you. You often have to disappear.
I have a stalker, it's why I'm on SS. It's a deeply traumatic experience. It's unsettling on so many levels. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. She may not be quite herself right now. If she's going into a trauma response or is experiencing PTSD she may not be able to get out of that fight/flight/freeze etc. survival mechanism. I spent the better part of the last year in that, it really sucks.
It's hard to get support when you're being stalked. It's such an isolating thing to live through. I feel like a shadow of my former self.
It's hard to get support when you're being stalked. It's such an isolating thing to live through. I feel like a shadow of my former self.
Darkmoon Queen
Specialist
- Apr 1, 2020
- 396
Be careful what you do on SS, forum posts still turn up in search results. Don't use names you've used elsewhere, etc.
stellabelle
ethereal
- Dec 14, 2018
- 3,919
Yep. My own lunatic mother, a lunatic boyfriend, lunatic gang members, more lunatics, lunatics, lunatics.
stalkers be stalking and they steal your phone, they steal whatever they can steal from you. And it's said nothing can be done until they escalate? So basically you're being told it's okay for someone to come get in your face, to prowl on you, to steal your privacy, vehicle, phone, social security card, autonomy, everything, and nothing can be done until they hit you?
What about when they threaten you and everyone around you? When they steal your money, your phone, they use tech, they use whatever they can to cause you physical, sexual, financial, and psychological harm - and nobody will help you. Nobody will help you and they say nothing can be done. So when a person winds up dead, sexually assaulted, financially assaulted, or otherwise physically of psychologically injured due to a stalker, do we blame the victim or do we blame the assailant?
now. What happens when a stalker won't stop? Nonstop calling, nonstop threatening your classmates, you, and anybody around you, groping, all of it, using information about being raped to humiliate you and telling everyone? There's a true problem with stalkers and that they ignore no, stop, leave me alone, can you back up, please don't, stop, leave me alone - all of those things. So are we supposed to be repeatedly assaulted by a person or should we take matters into our own hands? And when we do and we are charged a hefty fine and a stay in jail? This torment shit is absolutely fucked. Holding someone against their will is false imprisonment and encouraging another to stalk and the victim sits quietly until they blow up on the coward trying to force it… this is why I have a major issue with the legal system and domestic violence and how it occurred, what occurred, for how long, and a lack of justice.
stalkers be stalking and they steal your phone, they steal whatever they can steal from you. And it's said nothing can be done until they escalate? So basically you're being told it's okay for someone to come get in your face, to prowl on you, to steal your privacy, vehicle, phone, social security card, autonomy, everything, and nothing can be done until they hit you?
What about when they threaten you and everyone around you? When they steal your money, your phone, they use tech, they use whatever they can to cause you physical, sexual, financial, and psychological harm - and nobody will help you. Nobody will help you and they say nothing can be done. So when a person winds up dead, sexually assaulted, financially assaulted, or otherwise physically of psychologically injured due to a stalker, do we blame the victim or do we blame the assailant?
now. What happens when a stalker won't stop? Nonstop calling, nonstop threatening your classmates, you, and anybody around you, groping, all of it, using information about being raped to humiliate you and telling everyone? There's a true problem with stalkers and that they ignore no, stop, leave me alone, can you back up, please don't, stop, leave me alone - all of those things. So are we supposed to be repeatedly assaulted by a person or should we take matters into our own hands? And when we do and we are charged a hefty fine and a stay in jail? This torment shit is absolutely fucked. Holding someone against their will is false imprisonment and encouraging another to stalk and the victim sits quietly until they blow up on the coward trying to force it… this is why I have a major issue with the legal system and domestic violence and how it occurred, what occurred, for how long, and a lack of justice.
needingpeace24
Member
- Oct 19, 2021
- 52
I don't know if this qualifies as a stalker in the traditional sense, but I had a bad experience over the summer.
Went through a really rough split with someone I was with for years at the beginning of the year and my head was completely fucked. Well, a woman caught me off guard at a gas station one morning by striking up a conversation and eventually asking for my number. Not usually one to exchange numbers with a stranger, but I was honestly willing to try anything to get my mind off of my ex and I didn't want to get involved with anyone I already knew because they knew I was in a bad place mentally. Figured someone new would be the best route.
So after exchanging texts for a few days I invited her to my place one evening. Didn't go well at all. She seemed completely different and I could tell something wasn't quite right. Never a good sign when someone starts talking about "love" when you've talked for less than a week. Also found out over the course of the evening that she was still married. In the process of going through a divorce, yes, but not something I wanted mixed up in.
Over the next few days I tried to get her to understand that I was no longer interested in anything. Was as nice about it as possible. She didn't handle it well and refused to stop contacting me when asked, even going as far as dropping gifts off at my front door with little hand written notes. I had never experienced anything like it. Going from asking me for another chance in one text to disparaging my looks in the next when she didn't get the response she wanted. Over the next month it progressed to her calling up to my job and claiming I raped and impregnated her. Luckily I kept every text she had been sending me so it was easy to show what the situation really was.
Throughout it all I couldn't help but feel horrible for her. Even today I still do. It was obvious to me she wasn't stable at all and was having a hard time with it. Wish I could have helped her in some way without her thinking there was going to be anything between us. I can sit here today and hope she found some sort of happiness regardless of the harassment and made up accusations. Don't wish that kind of sadness on anyone.
Sorry for the long winded wall of text. Just getting some things off my chest tonight.
Went through a really rough split with someone I was with for years at the beginning of the year and my head was completely fucked. Well, a woman caught me off guard at a gas station one morning by striking up a conversation and eventually asking for my number. Not usually one to exchange numbers with a stranger, but I was honestly willing to try anything to get my mind off of my ex and I didn't want to get involved with anyone I already knew because they knew I was in a bad place mentally. Figured someone new would be the best route.
So after exchanging texts for a few days I invited her to my place one evening. Didn't go well at all. She seemed completely different and I could tell something wasn't quite right. Never a good sign when someone starts talking about "love" when you've talked for less than a week. Also found out over the course of the evening that she was still married. In the process of going through a divorce, yes, but not something I wanted mixed up in.
Over the next few days I tried to get her to understand that I was no longer interested in anything. Was as nice about it as possible. She didn't handle it well and refused to stop contacting me when asked, even going as far as dropping gifts off at my front door with little hand written notes. I had never experienced anything like it. Going from asking me for another chance in one text to disparaging my looks in the next when she didn't get the response she wanted. Over the next month it progressed to her calling up to my job and claiming I raped and impregnated her. Luckily I kept every text she had been sending me so it was easy to show what the situation really was.
Throughout it all I couldn't help but feel horrible for her. Even today I still do. It was obvious to me she wasn't stable at all and was having a hard time with it. Wish I could have helped her in some way without her thinking there was going to be anything between us. I can sit here today and hope she found some sort of happiness regardless of the harassment and made up accusations. Don't wish that kind of sadness on anyone.
Sorry for the long winded wall of text. Just getting some things off my chest tonight.
