Discussion Has anyone here called a suicide hotline? What did they say?

[Aergia]

I don't intend on doing it, but I'm curious as to how exactly operators try to dissuade people from ctb. When I initially tried to find a good method, the first page of browser search results was pretty ridiculous ("go out and have mindless sex instead!" "there're so many reasons to live! sushi, pizza...") so I'm wondering what a good argument against ctb is supposed to be.

 

[delusionalgirl]

"You are young" "you haven't lived yet" "you have so much to live for" "you don't want your friends and family to feel sad right" there's are just some things they have said. Like they just jump right into it. I think it depends on who you get. But most of the time I've gotten people that don't listen at all and go by the script. And of course trying to get more info out of you to get a location.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No, I haven't but maybe I should do it one day to drive them crazy with my arguments pro-choice and pro CTB.

 

[delusionalgirl]

No, I haven't but maybe I should do it one day to drive them crazy with my arguments pro-choice and pro CTB.

I like your style! Hmmm something to do this week for giggles lol

 

[Aergia]

"You are young" "you haven't lived yet" "you have so much to live for" "you don't want your friends and family to feel sad right" there's are just some things they have said. Like they just jump right into it. I think it depends on who you get. But most of the time I've gotten people that don't listen at all and go by the script. And of course trying to get more info out of you to get a location.

Trying to get your location? Oof.

No, I haven't but maybe I should do it one day to drive them crazy with my arguments pro-choice and pro CTB.

I've thought about this too lol, like, how would an operator respond to a philosophical argument for ctb?

 

[SilentSadness]

I called one a long time ago, they were of course very useless and didn't take me seriously.

 

[nyee]

"You are young" "you haven't lived yet" "you have so much to live for" "you don't want your friends and family to feel sad right" there's are just some things they have said. Like they just jump right into it. I think it depends on who you get. But most of the time I've gotten people that don't listen at all and go by the script. And of course trying to get more info out of you to get a location.

I wonder how many they actually prevent. I'd imagine it stops people from doing it impulsively but people that are committed would see they are all just empty words

 

[delusionalgirl]

Trying to get your location? Oof.

I've thought about this too lol, like, how would an operator respond to a philosophical argument for ctb?

They try. They fail. I've seen if I've done chat through website all of a sudden I get the browser wants your location. Could be random coincidence but just odd. Jokes on you. Not using google dumb asses. Plus they seem to think they can catch you off guard with questions to give up info about yourself.

 

[ARW3N]

One of the strangest things someone told me was that I was suicidal because I wanted to be in control of my life which is essentially true. We are not free to do as we want. We have to earn a living, earn a degree and are taxed by the government. You are still faced with the inevitable problems of ageing, sickness and death even if you are a zillionaire. We are endlessly chasing after rainbows. Nobody has to prove themselves to anyone or themselves.

 

[Unattainable666]

I called a number of years ago. Right after my little girl died. I wasn't suicidal, just really sad. I was talking to them on the phone and there was a knock on the door. Three cops showed up, came into my house (without asking) and started looking around (one watched me the whole time) the other two kept wandering around my house. Got back on the phone asked if they contacted the cops they said yes. I asked them why - couldn't even give a decent reason. I, personally, would NEVER call a hotline again.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I've thought about this too lol, like, how would an operator respond to a philosophical argument for ctb?

Idk. Depending on who's on the line that could become a really interesting dicussion.

 

[Darkover]

don't call one if you like your freedom

 

[FailerQt.]

They were willing to talk and confront but in the end they just wanted to call cops on me after they found out I am REALLY decided.

 

[enough of this]

I did call the suicide hotline many years ago. My call was answered by someone named "Jeffery." He didn't seem very interested in talking with me. When I began telling him how I was planning to CTB, he said, "I don't want to hear about that. Listen, I've got some other calls I need to get." I couldn't believe he was so dismissive. I felt more like CTB after the call than before.

It would seem the Crisis Call/Suicide Hotline Center doesn't hire professional people. I hope people who do call have better luck than I. But I'll never call again.

 

[chloramine]

I tried the texting one once. It was mainly aggravating. They would basically just repeat whatever I said back to me. I understand why and the purpose of that tool but it was so obvious and it didn't feel like a real discussion. I made sure to say I wasn't thinking of doing anything at the moment and I was just trying it in advance to see if it was an option. I did present actual problems that I had but. It wasn't helpful at all.

Keep in mind that the majority of these people are volunteers and even with training they aren't experts. In my case they were obviously trained to respond that way and maybe that type of listening would even help some people (I hope it does) but for me it felt too "When they say A you say B".

 

[hells "angel"]

Ugh yeah when I was maybe 13. I was embarrassing. The lady who answered tried to be nice, but it was embarrassing. Ha - won't ever do that again. Useless.

I tried the texting one once. It was mainly aggravating. They would basically just repeat whatever I said back to me. I understand why and the purpose of that tool but it was so obvious and it didn't feel like a real discussion. I made sure to say I wasn't thinking of doing anything at the moment and I was just trying it in advance to see if it was an option. I did present actual problems that I had but. It wasn't helpful at all.

Keep in mind that the majority of these people are volunteers and even with training they aren't experts. In my case they were obviously trained to respond that way and maybe that type of listening would even help some people (I hope it does) but for me it felt too "When they say A you say B".

Yes! Yes. This is how my experience with it was. I ended up just telling them I was good so the call could end.

 

[mercysangel]

I don't intend on doing it, but I'm curious as to how exactly operators try to dissuade people from ctb. When I initially tried to find a good method, the first page of browser search results was pretty ridiculous ("go out and have mindless sex instead!" "there're so many reasons to live! sushi, pizza...") so I'm wondering what a good argument against ctb is supposed to be.

I was about to kill myself i called a hotline twice and no one picked up.

 

[S u i c i d e]

Nobody answered the phone.

 

[azurarcher]

When I was searching for suicide methods as a teenager many websites I encountered recommended calling a suicide hotline and that's how I discovered that my country didn't have one lol. Now there is one but it is only for veterans

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's only fair to say it was obvious I didn't want to talk to them- it was the recent SN police welfare checks that got me put in touch with them but it wasn't pleasant. I kept telling them I was fine. That I knew where they were if I wanted their help. But yeah- they tried emotional blackmail- 'Think what it would do to your family.' (I'm very well aware thanks- it's why I'm still clinging to this rock after 33 years of ideation- I didn't say it but thought it.) Then, they said something about mental competancy. Honestly- my experience was horrible. The police were much nicer!

I couldn't say though- if you genuinely called them for help and were open to talking to them. I think I got that response because I clearly didn't want their help but I was none-the-less a problem for them now- being on their radar with a method in hand.

That I think is what it REALLY comes down to- if they realise you have a plan/ method available- you become a liability for them. I expect that's why it can become so heavy handed after that.

Still- I've also heard from a friend that- when they found out she didn't have a plan- they really weren't interested. Seems to me like a lot of them act like an emergency service- where- you don't actually want the bells and sirens but you get them if they deem appropriate- otherwise, they'll possibly just ignore you. (From what I've heard anyway.)

 

[picklemeow]

I don't intend on doing it, but I'm curious as to how exactly operators try to dissuade people from ctb. When I initially tried to find a good method, the first page of browser search results was pretty ridiculous ("go out and have mindless sex instead!" "there're so many reasons to live! sushi, pizza...") so I'm wondering what a good argument against ctb is supposed to be.

the lady that was on call with me just told me to take a shower, it was useless to be honest

 

[lokabe82]

My chat with the hotline operator didn't last very long. When they answered, I told them that I was in a crisis and what I got in return was "and what's wrong with you?" Or something like that. She sounded irritated so I hung up

 

[kunikuzushi]

Years ago, I used to call them every day because I didn't have anyone to talk to. I wouldn't really call them when I was about to kill myself, but rather when I was passively suicidal and feeling alone. They would always ask if I felt like I was an immediate danger to myself. They would ask about a brief history of my life. They would tell me I'm not alone and can always call them whenever I'm feeling bad. But the thing that irritated me was all the toxic positivity they would go on and on about, saying how there's always a way to get better and stuff.
Looking back, I would never call them again at this point in my life. Suicide is just too logical of an answer for me now. Back then, I was still receptive to people comforting me about being able to get better. Now it just doesn't make logical sense to tell me anything will be ok.

 

[Fulminare]

I didn't call them but they called me (long story). The lady at the other end was trying to intimidate me with police. Saying I have to give up my location or else it won't end well. Most horrible experience I've had.

 

[vitbar]

No, I haven't but maybe I should do it one day to drive them crazy with my arguments pro-choice and pro CTB.

Last one I spoke with there was a bit of this. I spoke about euthanising pets when they are suffering and how I believed it was right for humans too. Didn't get any push back to be honest.

 

[Zulu]

Just once back in 2019 in my darkest moments. Most hotlines will call the cops on you if you're serious with your ideation, but this one in particular said in the fine print that they don't. It was the Trans Lifeline, which...basically they just said whatever I wanted to get off my chest, I could do so. Vented and cried my eyes out for a good two hours before they said they had to go. They barely said anything most of the call. It was like I was just talking to myself. I confessed about the Russian roulette part, and true to their word, no cops ever showed up. Any other hotline, yeah...I wouldn't have been so lucky. Still, it didn't really accomplish much. Don't have any desire to use one again.

 

[NoLongerHuman.]

Called the hotline, wasnt going to do it right then and there but I was planning it. They put me on hold for more or less 30 minutes as I was breaking down, and when they came back, they informed me they called the police and hung up. I was with my parents at the time, and so when they came I pretended that I had no clue about why they were there. Unsurprisingly, they didn't care enough to question and searched the house. They asked if one of me or my family made the hotline call and we all said no. Had I said yes at that moment, I would have been treated even worse by my family.

Needless to say, I'm never calling them again.

 

[enough of this]

My chat with the hotline operator didn't last very long. When they answered, I told them that I was in a crisis and what I got in return was "and what's wrong with you?" Or something like that. She sounded irritated so I hung up

Yeah, I can't believe some of these people who answer for the hotline. I'll never call again.
Fortunately, there are people here who have empathy and are willing to talk with you.

 

[Unending]

There was an occasion where the call started with me telling them that I'm not planning on killing my self and then they immediately asked me if I'm planning on killing my self not just then, but two other times during the call completely unprompted. I've tried to accept it as the terms of service for venting to a stranger but sometimes it really gets to me. I just don't like what it implies about me and find it be an unfair blanket assessment of what kind of person I am solely for having a condition that makes my life unpleasant.

 

[lokabe82]

Yeah, I can't believe some of these people who answer for the hotline. I'll never call again.
Fortunately, there are people here who have empathy and are willing to talk with you.

The folks on this forum are way more supportive than any hotline could ever be