Discussion Has anyone else given up on romance?

[Joker2003]

Falling in love and having a romantic partner was one of my biggest dreams when I was younger, but I accepted long ago that I'm too broken for that to happen.

The amount of mental, emotional, and even physical issues I suffer from is unbearable, and I can't image burdening another human with my presence. It would be unfair for me to even attempt dating someone. I also have a very rigid, obsessive, and anxious personality due to my autism and know that I wouldn't be fun to hang out with. I feel that some people are just destined to be forever alone. I'm a little sad that I won't ever experience a romantic relationship, but I've accepted it at this point.

The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that CTB is always an option.

Have any of you given up on romantic relationships?
Why did you give up on them?

 

[d3ad]

Falling in love and having a romantic partner was one of my biggest dreams when I was younger, but I accepted long ago that I'm too broken for that to happen.

The amount of mental, emotional, and even physical issues I suffer from is unbearable, and I can't image burdening another human with my presence. It would be unfair for me to even attempt dating someone. I also have a very rigid, obsessive, and anxious personality due to my autism and know that I wouldn't be fun to hang out with. I feel that some people are just destined to be forever alone. I'm a little sad that I won't ever experience a romantic relationship, but I've accepted it at this point.

The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that CTB is always an option.

Have any of you given up on romantic relationships?
Why did you give up on them?

Same!!! Same here dude. I always get screwed over,. Not that I am perfect though, because I tend to be over jealous, insecure and controlling too when I'm in a relationship. I need constant reassurance, and all of that. I gave up though, and honestly it's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am better off alone. I do miss intimacy sometimes though, but knowing how the world treats people like us, I doubt I will ever get it again. Besides, I won't be here for too long so it doens't matter.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

yeah, i gave up a while back. not worth the drama and hassle

 

[R_N]

It was a while ago. At one point I realized it was not meant to be. It just seemed more like a ritual I forced myself to do, but at the same time I wanted more from it.

Emotions just hurt me. Not being attached to anyone even friends to the point I can walk away or let them go is miles better for me, and even if I wanted to It is impossible to go back to how I was now.

 

[InAgony]

I'm the same as you, too many mental and physical issues. I've never had an adult relationship and have accepted (unhappily) that is never going to happen for me.

 

[Dliena]

Yep it just ain't worth it to me too much hassle too much commitment and very little reward that'll just come back to stab you in the heart before you're able to grasp it.

 

[Return2themoonlight]

Yess, I've completely given up. Ima live a life of seclusion. Something like a hermit in a forest or on a mountain.

 

[Aim]

Oh romance. Love it. And miss it
However. I would never want anyone to be in a relationship with someone knowing that i at this point will have nothing to offer. I don't think thats completely fair to the other person to be hounest. So. Yeah no more romance for me.

 

[Hunter2005]

Yeah I gave up on it and don't care about it, this world has no love anyways it's some lie they made up.

 

[Alfwynn]

I recently got out of an unfulfilling relationship. There was no drama— we did it like mature adults, but after that I have no desire to pursue another partner. It's not like I don't believe in romance, but I understand now that I am in no state to be in a relationship. I have no end of troubles, and I know very well that it affects my partners. I also don't want to be tied down to this world by my bonds, and I hope to extinguish them all in time. I don't even mourn my celibacy, because I know in the end this is what's best for everyone— including me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never really wanted romance to begin with

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Yes i think my mental health would be too much to handle, i wouldnt want to put that burden on anyone. I used to dream to have children and a wholesome family that i can give all of my love and care to, but im no longer interested in that ;w; as much as i badly wish to have a partner i dont think anyone would ever want me again and i know ill probably just fuck it up, plus the person im in love with i cant be with and its horrible so i would rather never fall in love again

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

oh, and i do get that about your post. i'm the same way. i actually don't like people taking care of me for some reason. i don't know if it's pride or what. i don't want to be a burden and i don't want them to see me in a sick condition. not even a simple cold.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Kind of. I'm not in the right place, and probably never will be. I wish Rebeka was still alive, but other than that. I'm closer to death than romance now.

 

[Raven2]

Dont think I'm in the right head space to date right now. I do think maybe another shot at a relationship could give me a new lease of life so to speak and some hope for the future instead of ctb.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I'm similar to you. When I was younger, I really wanted to have someone to share life with. I think maybe the past few years (I'm 44,) I've begun to feel more at peace with the idea that I never have and never will experience romantic love. Well- not reciprocated anyway!

I think I tend to fall into limerence (obsessive crushes) with people rather than love and it always messes me up, so I'm more careful about stopping that in its tracks now. I think my idea of love is too fairytale too. I'm not attractive anyway so, my chances never felt that good. Plus, I am actually grateful for my independence. I don't think I'd like that being restricted at all. I'm pretty set in my ways of being able to do my own thing. Plus, I detest all things domestic so, wouldn't fancy being a house wife- but I'd still feel obliged to do all that for them most likely and secretly wish I didn't have to! Plus, there's the real possibility of suicide now so, it wouldn't feel right to try and find someone now only to leave them.

So, from a common sense point of view, I think I'm better off as I am. Plus, I have a very good imagination! I can imagine I'm with some nice caring guy and cuddle my pillow etc. Lol. Might sound pathetic but, I don't really care. I'm grateful I can pretty much sate my own needs. I still have some sadness that I didn't experience all that but, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Realising that it was in part choice, helped me to feel better about myself.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Yeah, I had two serious relationships that both failed and at this point in life I have given up. I am not looking for anyone anymore. It's just not worth the hassle

 

[borderlinee]

I struggle with bpd so romance is just too painful for me. I'm also not pretty, I'm too introverted and struggle with alogia(reduced speech) so I can't date even if I wanted to. I've just given up.

 

[VoidedExistence]

i had never chance to begin, i have never had any hopes or expectations of anything

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No but I wish I could. I've never even had a real romance and yet it's the last thing I crave most.

 

[AllAlone]

I'm a worthless loser and it's just not possible for someone to like me. However I have accepted that nobody likes me and I will always be alone. That's why I am killing myself.

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie, relationships suck and are over complicated.
But I sure like fuckin.

 

[sserafim]

Personally I've never had a need for romance. I think that I'm probably aroace. I've never had a relationship and never will, I just never saw a reason or need for one. I never wanted or desired one. What do you gain or get out of it? Maybe it's because I have Asperger's/autism, but I can't connect to people on a deeper level and have no desire to. I don't even like people anyways tbh. Also I don't want to bond with people or share my life with someone else, I feel like my boundaries, personal space and privacy would be violated, and that my freedom would be taken away. I like to put a bit of distance between me and others.

 

[divinemistress36]

36 never had a serious romance. To mentally unstable for one but I wish I could have experienced it at least once when I was younger

 

[druggedonsurvival]

Giving up on romance, for me, is tantamount to giving up on life, since I have such an inherently romantic disposition. That I have basically done. I know that I would be a terrible burden to anybody, if there was for some reason anyone who wanted me. Nobody wants someone who's just trying to escape their own mental pain. That's not a mutually beneficial relationship. I understand that in a relationship both parties need to have something to offer the other person, I need to have something that would make the other person happy, but I don't have anything like that. I can't make anyone happy, all I have is sadness and depression and self-loathing. I am just, like most of us, an endless failing pit of despair, which no one would ever want. And honestly I can't blame them for that. I don't want it either.

 

[thegoldengirls]

Falling in love and having a romantic partner was one of my biggest dreams when I was younger, but I accepted long ago that I'm too broken for that to happen.

The amount of mental, emotional, and even physical issues I suffer from is unbearable, and I can't image burdening another human with my presence. It would be unfair for me to even attempt dating someone. I also have a very rigid, obsessive, and anxious personality due to my autism and know that I wouldn't be fun to hang out with. I feel that some people are just destined to be forever alone. I'm a little sad that I won't ever experience a romantic relationship, but I've accepted it at this point.

The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that CTB is always an option.

Have any of you given up on romantic relationships?
Why did you give up on them?

I've definitely given up on any prospect of a romantic relationship. I'm a woman and notice a pattern in the few "relationships" I've ever had in my 38 years.
I say relationship loosely because they were never exclusive relationships.
I always had hope that they would progress to that, but they never did.
I've been told that I'm easy going, easy to get along with, but in my mind I know there is something preventing me for creating long term bonds.
Maybe it's my shyness, perhaps I'm too agreeable, I don't open up to men easily and they probably see it is uninterested, etc.
I'm always a placeholder until the woman they want comes along, or men just see me for one thing, nothing more.
I've accepted that perhaps that is all I'm good for and I'm just unlovable.
I envy women that can just be themselves and get a man to commit to them...just like that. I've accepted that I was just born broken and defective. I just got word that having children would be an impossibility unless I have medical assistance which is expensive. Just another reason to make me feel inadequate.
I guess I have to look on the bright side. I'm not bringing children into this cold world and possibly genetically passing on my depression to him/her.
The prospect of Ctb is the only thing that gets me through my days. I daydream about it.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I haven't necessarily given up but on the other hand I'm getting older and certainly haven't ever got started.

 

[Mayfly]

Currently in a relationship
Thought it would alleviate my woes and rip me from the throes of misery and self-loathing; I believe things have only been amplified.
Being in a relationship while being mentally ill is really draining: not just for me, but for him, too. It's such a heavy burden to carry and I want to set him free but the selfish voice in my head is far too greedy. I almost feel more alone than I ever did before. I feel as if I've sought out the prettiest bird on the planet and clipped its wings. :-(
I hope you're all well. My testimony isn't universal, but it isn't uncommon, either. Love might not be the vice you need.