ADHD_Drink
New Member
- May 8, 2025
- 1
I'm wondering if anyone relates to my experience of ADHD medication/stimulants.
It's crazy. See, normally, I wouldn't even feel like the energy of writing this post is worth it. However, currently being in the midst of a 50mg Elvanse (Vyvance) high, suddenly every little thing in life feels worth doing. All the parts of life that made me go 'meh' flip to a 'Hell yes,' and I feel okay to just exist. A world of once gray shades finds the will to present it's potential for colour. It isn't quite all-encompassing bliss but it's definitely enough to keep me moving—life doesn't quite become heaven but it's no longer hell.
Is this how people without depression feel normally? Just 'good enough to exist'? If so, that's insane. It's hard to comprehend a lifelong experience of just feeling 'good'.
It makes me wonder if my brain is just naturally lacking something in it's chemistry. Why don't I just feel like this normally?
I've spent such long periods of my life sitting in silence, staring at walls, trying to figure out why I feel so sad—trying to solve the emotional equation to my happiness. No matter how deep I look, I never find an answer, and it feels like there was never one to find. Eventually, I get frustrated and question my reasons for even trying to solve the unsolveable; it's a waste of time. As much as I realise that, though, the shallow sensation always brings me back to them same questions.
Towards the end of the day, the medication generally hits a slump, and the hollow feelings drift back to greet me. Sometimes I try to resist. Sometimes I sit and down and let their pain carry me away. I'm not sure why this happens, or if it means the medication is wrong.
I struggle to know if the medication is a bandaid or a saviour: a needed crutch or an easy way out.
Sorry for the unstructured ramble. It's just what's on my mind at the moment. I'd appreciate hearing if anybody relates to the experience.
It's crazy. See, normally, I wouldn't even feel like the energy of writing this post is worth it. However, currently being in the midst of a 50mg Elvanse (Vyvance) high, suddenly every little thing in life feels worth doing. All the parts of life that made me go 'meh' flip to a 'Hell yes,' and I feel okay to just exist. A world of once gray shades finds the will to present it's potential for colour. It isn't quite all-encompassing bliss but it's definitely enough to keep me moving—life doesn't quite become heaven but it's no longer hell.
Is this how people without depression feel normally? Just 'good enough to exist'? If so, that's insane. It's hard to comprehend a lifelong experience of just feeling 'good'.
It makes me wonder if my brain is just naturally lacking something in it's chemistry. Why don't I just feel like this normally?
I've spent such long periods of my life sitting in silence, staring at walls, trying to figure out why I feel so sad—trying to solve the emotional equation to my happiness. No matter how deep I look, I never find an answer, and it feels like there was never one to find. Eventually, I get frustrated and question my reasons for even trying to solve the unsolveable; it's a waste of time. As much as I realise that, though, the shallow sensation always brings me back to them same questions.
Towards the end of the day, the medication generally hits a slump, and the hollow feelings drift back to greet me. Sometimes I try to resist. Sometimes I sit and down and let their pain carry me away. I'm not sure why this happens, or if it means the medication is wrong.
I struggle to know if the medication is a bandaid or a saviour: a needed crutch or an easy way out.
Sorry for the unstructured ramble. It's just what's on my mind at the moment. I'd appreciate hearing if anybody relates to the experience.
