Help Harder than i tought

[Sinnister]

I never realized how hard it is to kill ones self until its time to search for methods only to realize that the chemicals needed to die instantly is not publicly accessible and alternative methods are not instant but painfully slow.

I really wanted to die by poisoning or by ingestion that are instant but this chemicals are very hard to acquire in my region. Ordering online is possible but it is only available overseas, wich is a bad idea, and every product that is possible or accessible to the public just make you suffer slowly. Guns is also a method that i have been deciding on but even that is hard to acquire in my country. I mean i could consider hanging or jumping but, I really dont want to traumatize my family by discovering my body mangled or hanging.

Although due to my circumstances i think hanging might be possible for me if I really cant find anything that causes instant death. Idk maybe im just too much of a pussy or i didnt do my reasearch on this topic.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's just so cruel and terrible to me how painless, guaranteed ways to cease existing are made inaccessible, all I want is to be gone and never suffer again, all I want is peace from this torturous existence, I hope you find the relief you search for.