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Ben

Warlock
Sep 12, 2018
784
Yes. I havent poured my guts out to anyone, but I do PM with a few people here. I think it is fine to chat so long as you know by definition the chatting will only be temporary. Personally if Im talking to someone and I see that they joined >3-6 months ago I start to wonder why they are still here.

Don't wonder that. I saw you mention that is isn't a place to just talk about CTB. That's absolutely not true. You are not required to kill yourself within a certain timeframe after you join here.
 
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Bex83

Member
Aug 26, 2018
61
Yes. I havent poured my guts out to anyone, but I do PM with a few people here. I think it is fine to chat so long as you know by definition the chatting will only be temporary. Personally if Im talking to someone and I see that they joined >3-6 months ago I start to wonder why they are still here.
I've had many failed attempts, serious ones at that. Definitely not my fault I can't die. I will be on here till I succeed
 
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Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
This is not some sick competition you know
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
This is not some sick competition you know
Amen.

It's difficult to have found a community I feel comfortable and open with, and to see it dissolve away as we each accomplish the exact goal that drew us here.
 
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Amira

Amira

Student
Nov 15, 2018
180
I don't know. I am also kinda knew to this forum, and i didn't have the chance to experience this kind of thing, but i don't think i ever will. I can't really connect with anyone over the internet to the extent of having any reaction. I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing.
I guess its a good thing for you.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,970
Sometimes I feel weird for sticking around, like I'm only moonlighting as someone who wants to ctb. Is this a common feeling among more regular members? Like I know it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way, but there's a kind of self imposed feeling of "walk the walk" that I get sometimes.
 
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skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
Sometimes I feel weird for sticking around, like I'm only moonlighting as someone who wants to ctb. Is this a common feeling among more regular members? Like I know it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way, but there's a kind of self imposed feeling of "walk the walk" that I get sometimes.
I feel similar
 
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Ben

Warlock
Sep 12, 2018
784
Sometimes I feel weird for sticking around, like I'm only moonlighting as someone who wants to ctb. Is this a common feeling among more regular members? Like I know it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way, but there's a kind of self imposed feeling of "walk the walk" that I get sometimes.

I get what you're saying, but I wouldn't let it bug you. I'll say publicly I have zero intention on killing myself right now. Not because im better or everything is fixed, it's because I can't. I've tried and failed many times. Don't feel weird for hanging around. There are no expiry dates on accounts and you do not have to be actively trying to kill yourself to fit in here.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Keep looking out for burning lights see if he has succeeded.
In the event he succeeded, I'll keep this burning. For him, and all the others who have successfully ctb. F6a1c20e881a9767bda5fadd20542e0d
 
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Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
They are in charge of their own destinies. I am confident in them that they know what they are doing and they made the right choices. I don't get close to too many, and I feel for some that it is the best. Whatever things you have said to me or I to you, doesn't matter afterwards in death.
 
Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
Sometimes I feel weird for sticking around, like I'm only moonlighting as someone who wants to ctb. Is this a common feeling among more regular members? Like I know it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way, but there's a kind of self imposed feeling of "walk the walk" that I get sometimes.

I get the feeling sometimes as well. I was close to CTBing, but then nature didn't allow me to do it, but why stop there? I could've did something else, hanged myself, take a bunch of pills, swallow Drano, etc., but the urge was gone and I felt the posts leading to it were weak attempts. I don't think the community is going to rally against you and call you weak-willed or a fraud. Shit happens and didn't work that day, maybe your day will be better and you recover or you're back to the drawing board to CTB.
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Sometimes I feel weird for sticking around, like I'm only moonlighting as someone who wants to ctb. Is this a common feeling among more regular members? Like I know it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way, but there's a kind of self imposed feeling of "walk the walk" that I get sometimes.
Me too. I have so many methods so readily available, and yet I can't pull myself together and succeed; I'm still here. I often feel like a fraud.
 
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Jiva

Jiva

I want ...
Nov 18, 2018
493
Death is sad always. Does not important you want to live, or you want to die, the end is sad always...
 
RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,135
It feels terrible. It makes me want to build up distance to the people here because it's saddening. I know most members here will eventually leave. And I've talked to many lovely people in this forum that left already. I wonder what they experienced in their last moments. I just hope it was peaceful for them.
 
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