Venting Happy couples tear me up inside

[21Neberg]

Sorry, have to vent here.

I was cycling home today as usual. I had had a pretty bad day, but nothing out of the usual. Since I've been taking my blade to school to cut there I can deal with the loneliness from seeing my friends and their girlfriends better. However, as I got home I saw these two complete strangers kissing in the park.

I don't know what happened, but I just fell apart inside. All I could think about was cutting, and when I'd have time to attempt again.

It's been a month since I was dumped, and there hasn't been an hour of the day when I haven't thought of her. I can't stand it, I'm miserable. Seeing couples makes me miserable.

Sorry for the vent again, never mind it I guess...

 

[15dec]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad 21, I don't like seeing couples either since me and my ex broke up (about three months ago) -I always get this horrible feeling in my chest and it makes me feel so much lonelier. Things are always tough after a breakup but they do get slightly easier over time, I promise you. I still think about my ex nearly day, probably every day in fact, and it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it used to.

I hope you're feeling better about this soon. Sending lots of hugs ♡

 

[Redt2go]

Sorry, have to vent here.

I was cycling home today as usual. I had had a pretty bad day, but nothing out of the usual. Since I've been taking my blade to school to cut there I can deal with the loneliness from seeing my friends and their girlfriends better. However, as I got home I saw these two complete strangers kissing in the park.

I don't know what happened, but I just fell apart inside. All I could think about was cutting, and when I'd have time to attempt again.

It's been a month since I was dumped, and there hasn't been an hour of the day when I haven't thought of her. I can't stand it, I'm miserable. Seeing couples makes me miserable.

Sorry for the vent again, never mind it I guess...

FUCKING this. I feel you. Honestly seeing anyone my age makes me sad but couples tear me up...

 

[Sinbad]

I feel you, 21Neberg. We don't share the same emotional trigger but the pain is the same, I suppose. Sending love and hugs your way, broeder.

 

[989-X]

I used to be like that after being single and isolated for a number of years.

Now I've somehow come across someone who means a lot to me and I know I don't deserve to have them my life.

 

[JustAboutDone]

It's a real trigger for you at the moment, sweetheart, especially because your break up is so recent - only a month ago. And it exacerbates your feelings of aloneness. I know it's of little comfort but not all moments are of 'happy coupleness' - the ones you saw earlier may have gone home and had a blazing row about something trivial!

I firmly believe that there are lots of compatible people out there in the world for everyone and that one of your people may well be a person you walk into as you turn a corner.

In the meantime you achieved so much last week; you overcame two massive things that were causing you anxiety - by going along to them so you should reward yourself for that preferably with something nice like a lavish pizza xxx

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

I am so sorry. I hate to know that anyone is in pain, but I can certainly empathize with you. Those same things tear me up inside too. I wish you the best, whatever it's worth.

 

[Final Escape]

Sorry, have to vent here.

I was cycling home today as usual. I had had a pretty bad day, but nothing out of the usual. Since I've been taking my blade to school to cut there I can deal with the loneliness from seeing my friends and their girlfriends better. However, as I got home I saw these two complete strangers kissing in the park.

I don't know what happened, but I just fell apart inside. All I could think about was cutting, and when I'd have time to attempt again.

It's been a month since I was dumped, and there hasn't been an hour of the day when I haven't thought of her. I can't stand it, I'm miserable. Seeing couples makes me miserable.

Sorry for the vent again, never mind it I guess...

Awe :(" I've had moments like this too. It can take many months to recover from heartbreak. Some people are more impacted by heartbreak than others too. Certain trauma in childhood can leave u less resilient when u get dumped, or when a relationship ends. It will get easier, and u never know u might meet someone soon :)

 

[989-X]

u never know u might meet someone soon :)

This. There's always that one gem out there.

 

[Memento Mori]

Sorry, have to vent here.

I was cycling home today as usual. I had had a pretty bad day, but nothing out of the usual. Since I've been taking my blade to school to cut there I can deal with the loneliness from seeing my friends and their girlfriends better. However, as I got home I saw these two complete strangers kissing in the park.

I don't know what happened, but I just fell apart inside. All I could think about was cutting, and when I'd have time to attempt again.

It's been a month since I was dumped, and there hasn't been an hour of the day when I haven't thought of her. I can't stand it, I'm miserable. Seeing couples makes me miserable.

Sorry for the vent again, never mind it I guess...

dude it's always like the guy or the girl looks at me and then they kiss to provoke me like 'look over here we're happy' lol
but i give a fuck as long as i dont have to see a certain couple

 

[Koal]

I get this. I think it's great that other people are happy but I just can't help but be a little bitter about it.

 

[lululoo]

They tear me up too. I wish I had something like an ad blocker for my vision and I just didn't see them anymore.

 

[21Neberg]

They tear me up too. I wish I had something like an ad blocker for my vision and I just didn't see them anymore.

Imagine that, I'd block out the whole world...

 

[21Neberg]

It's a real trigger for you at the moment, sweetheart, especially because your break up is so recent - only a month ago. And it exacerbates your feelings of aloneness. I know it's of little comfort but not all moments are of 'happy coupleness' - the ones you saw earlier may have gone home and had a blazing row about something trivial!

I firmly believe that there are lots of compatible people out there in the world for everyone and that one of your people may well be a person you walk into as you turn a corner.

In the meantime you achieved so much last week; you overcame two massive things that were causing you anxiety - by going along to them so you should reward yourself for that preferably with something nice like a lavish pizza xxx

Really kind words... I do not know what I did to deserve this, I really appreciate it. I wonder if I'll ever get over my ex, she's certainly gotten over me a long time ago

 

[21Neberg]

It will get easier, and u never know u might meet someone soon :)

I honestly don't know if that's what I want. When I was with her I was filled with anxiety every day, wondering whether or not she still liked me, if she was seeing someone else, I really just felt worse. Besides, my arms are covered in cuts and I'd like to keep that secret to myself.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Really kind words... I do not know what I did to deserve this, I really appreciate it. I wonder if I'll ever get over my ex, she's certainly gotten over me a long time ago

You are incredibly kind. You always step up to offer other people help on here - even though you're in a lot of pain yourself. That's the sign of a really good person and a strong character. If your ex has moved on - it's her loss. She won't find someone as loyal and kind as you. As for future relationships - they may or may not happen as and when the time is right. The cutting and scars isn't an issue - the right person will understand and care. Good luck with the therapist appointment, I think they are coming up shortly for you and I think that's a really positive thing to do, exploring all the options. That's one of the things I admire about you; your anxiety kills you but you try so hard and it inspires me xx

 

[lost illusions]

Sorry, have to vent here.

I was cycling home today as usual. I had had a pretty bad day, but nothing out of the usual. Since I've been taking my blade to school to cut there I can deal with the loneliness from seeing my friends and their girlfriends better. However, as I got home I saw these two complete strangers kissing in the park.

I don't know what happened, but I just fell apart inside. All I could think about was cutting, and when I'd have time to attempt again.

It's been a month since I was dumped, and there hasn't been an hour of the day when I haven't thought of her. I can't stand it, I'm miserable. Seeing couples makes me miserable.

Sorry for the vent again, never mind it I guess...

I go through something similar

 

[CJM]

When I was with her I was filled with anxiety every day, wondering whether or not she still liked me, if she was seeing someone else

This is what not to do. You will just drive them away. Gotta have trust.

 

[21Neberg]

You are incredibly kind. You always step up to offer other people help on here - even though you're in a lot of pain yourself. That's the sign of a really good person and a strong character. If your ex has moved on - it's her loss. She won't find someone as loyal and kind as you. As for future relationships - they may or may not happen as and when the time is right. The cutting and scars isn't an issue - the right person will understand and care. Good luck with the therapist appointment, I think they are coming up shortly for you and I think that's a really positive thing to do, exploring all the options. That's one of the things I admire about you; your anxiety kills you but you try so hard and it inspires me xx

You got me blushing in class haha. It's next week on Tuesday, I just hope she's kind and understanding. I really don't know what to expect, I'm just going to try to be honest and hope it works I guess?

 

[21Neberg]

This is what not to do. You will just drive them away. Gotta have trust.

Well I never asked her about this, I was always honest and caring. I was honest about my issues too, and even told her I was seeking help.

 

[Final Escape]

I honestly don't know if that's what I want. When I was with her I was filled with anxiety every day, wondering whether or not she still liked me, if she was seeing someone else, I really just felt worse. Besides, my arms are covered in cuts and I'd like to keep that secret to myself.

You were with the wrong girl if she made you constantly anxious and insecure in the relationship. If you have been wounded in childhood, you have to be especially careful not to get hooked by someone with a Cluster B personality disorder. You will have blinders on with these types of people. A really good person will not make you feel this way. They will be consistent, probably less exciting, and they won't raise your anxiety and leave u wondering where you stand with them. You won't feel like you walk on eggshells or afraid to say things lol!

 

[21Neberg]

You were with the wrong girl if she made you constantly anxious and insecure in the relationship.

I don't think so. She was amazing, and admitted to me that she missed the freedom she had when being single. Things like dancing with other guys at parties. The insecurities, the worrying, it was all me.

If you have been wounded in childhood, you have to be especially careful not to get hooked by someone with a Cluster B personality disorder.

I got bullied a lot when I was younger, but I'm not sure if that counts as 'wounded'.

You won't feel like you walk on eggshells or afraid to say things lol!

How did you just perfectly describe me in that relationship so well without even seeing my face?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I understand. Sometimes the unhealthiest relationships are the most intoxicating. When I was 25 I started going out with this girl who I felt was way out of my league. Like she was so hot she would have random guys following her etc. Anyway, the point is, I was blinded to the bad (and there was a lot of it). We lasted for a little over a year, but the whole time I felt emotionally heightened. There was so much drama between us and yet I would've done anything to stay together. When we broke up, I couldn't function. I couldn't eat or sleep, I had a lump in my throat, I felt like I was going to choke/cry. This went on for months. Years later, and I can say two things: one, the relationship was fucking terrible, two, I still think about her.

Perhaps my story mirrors your own in some way. I'm sure it doesn't exactly, of course. But even if you still feel that rawness right now, it will subside and not be as painful in time. But there is a good chance she took a piece of you with her. You may continue to think of her for a long time to come, but it likely won't be as bad if you just keep going. Do the basics for now, whatever you can, and the rest will come.

Good luck to you.

 

[Othermind]

Oh, you mean fairly well-adjusted young people who are making the most of their prime years and are displaying their achievement of a level of happiness and fulfillment that I have completely barred myself from ever attaining because I'm a stupid despicable piece of human garbage? Yeah, they make me feel horrible too, I totally understand. Also the cutting.
However, don't let it get to you. It's easy to spiral into desperation and make bad decisions. I don't know you, but chances are you're not completely compromised, and if you're not, you can still work on finding a partner.
Sounds like a platitude, I know, but trust me on this. When it comes to things like these, it's rarely as bleak as it seems.

 

[21Neberg]

I understand. Sometimes the unhealthiest relationships are the most intoxicating. When I was 25 I started going out with this girl who I felt was way out of my league. Like she was so hot she would have random guys following her etc. Anyway, the point is, I was blinded to the bad (and there was a lot of it). We lasted for a little over a year, but the whole time I felt emotionally heightened. There was so much drama between us and yet I would've done anything to stay together. When we broke up, I couldn't function. I couldn't eat or sleep, I had a lump in my throat, I felt like I was going to choke/cry. This went on for months. Years later, and I can say two things: one, the relationship was fucking terrible, two, I still think about her.

Perhaps my story mirrors your own in some way. I'm sure it doesn't exactly, of course. But even if you still feel that rawness right now, it will subside and not be as painful in time. But there is a good chance she took a piece of you with her. You may continue to think of her for a long time to come, but it likely won't be as bad if you just keep going. Do the basics for now, whatever you can, and the rest will come.

Good luck to you.

You still think about her? I've been thinking about her every hour the past month... It's making me miserable. How do you deal with those thoughts?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

You still think about her? I've been thinking about her every hour the past month... It's making me miserable. How do you deal with those thoughts?

Oh not in a romantic sense, the love is long gone. I just mean that I reminisce about it sometimes in the way you might do with a nice vacation you took, for instance. So I'm quite hopeful that you'll be able to look back on it fondly at some stage. There is a grieving process of sorts first though, no doubt about it. But some form of healing is inevitable. You'll get there.

 

[TheCrow]

They tear me up too. I wish I had something like an ad blocker for my vision and I just didn't see them anymore.

HA! I love it.

 

[21Neberg]

Oh not in a romantic sense, the love is long gone. I just mean that I reminisce about it sometimes in the way you might do with a nice vacation you took, for instance. So I'm quite hopeful that you'll be able to look back on it fondly at some stage. There is a grieving process of sorts first though, no doubt about it. But some form of healing is inevitable. You'll get there.

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. I still see her everyday in class, so it's hard.

 

[Broken]

I understand. Sometimes the unhealthiest relationships are the most intoxicating. When I was 25 I started going out with this girl who I felt was way out of my league. Like she was so hot she would have random guys following her etc. Anyway, the point is, I was blinded to the bad (and there was a lot of it). We lasted for a little over a year, but the whole time I felt emotionally heightened. There was so much drama between us and yet I would've done anything to stay together. When we broke up, I couldn't function. I couldn't eat or sleep, I had a lump in my throat, I felt like I was going to choke/cry. This went on for months. Years later, and I can say two things: one, the relationship was fucking terrible, two, I still think about her.

Perhaps my story mirrors your own in some way. I'm sure it doesn't exactly, of course. But even if you still feel that rawness right now, it will subside and not be as painful in time. But there is a good chance she took a piece of you with her. You may continue to think of her for a long time to come, but it likely won't be as bad if you just keep going. Do the basics for now, whatever you can, and the rest will come.

Good luck to you.

If you don't mind me asking how does it feel now when you think about her? im 7 months down the line. Unfortunately I also have to live with the fact that I was the problem and cause of the demise of my relationship. I've come to the realisation that it's probably going to hurt for a long time and never go away fully until I get an oppurtunity to love and be loved and not mess it up!

 

[journeytotheend]

I understand that feeling too well @21Neberg. Saw this couple the other day, she stroked his hair and gave him a look which seemed to be filled with so much affection. Immediately choked up, and had to work hard to hold the tears back.
Heartbreak is hell, but it fades with time.