Venting Happy autism awareness month! What a joke

[LaVieEnRose]

Hurray for our performatively appointed month.

Still no one cares and my own family is as "aware" about it as a rock is of its existence.

People should care. Unlike many other marginalized attributes revolving around race, sex, sexual and gender identity, etc. that have been campaigned for over the years autism is functionally impactful as well as being socially marginalized.. Unlike other disabilities like paralysis or blindness it doesn't at least elicit any pity-laced sympathies or serve as "inspiration porn" for the normie contingents. Maybe those are good things. Though it does mean autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits.

I have a twin neurotypical brother (with all the implications that suggests) and people have never understood why that has triggered me. Because that would require actually having an understanding of how autism has affected me. How could someone not find that upsetting? It just drives home the capricious and random nature of life in a visceral and disturbing way. The fact that he is not the greatest person doesn't help.

Yes, it would be swell to die in the month dedicated to this dumb condition.

 

[Hated By All]

I just view it as I'm autistic and not a neurotypical then I have no place in the world that's designed and catered to neurotypicals.

I don't feel like my family and people around me care let alone the public.

 

[Linda]

Hurray for our performatively appointed month.

Still no one cares and my own family is as "aware" about it as a rock is of its existence.

People should care. Unlike many other marginalized attributes revolving around race, sex, sexual and gender identity, etc. that have been campaigned for over the years. Unlike other disabilities like paralysis or blindness it doesn't at least elicit any pity-laced sympathies or serve as "inspiration porn" for the normie contingents. Maybe those are good things. Though it does mean autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits.

I have a twin neurotypical brother (with all the implications that suggests) and people have never understood why that has triggered me. Because that would require actually having an understanding of how autism has affected me. How could someone not find that upsetting? It just drives home the capricious and random nature of life in a visceral and disturbing way. The fact that he is not the greatest person doesn't help.

Yes, it would be swell to die in the month dedicated to this dumb condition.

" ... autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits ..." I agree. So what are you going to do to ensure that it gets more respect and attention?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

" ... autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits ..." I agree. So what are you going to do to ensure that it gets more respect and attention?

Well, I hope my demise communicate the appropriate messages, though I have no control over that.

I don't quite appreciate the implications of that question. I'm just bitching as marked in a space where I know a lot of kindred autistic people are around.

Any cause I could devote myself to would necessitate remaining here and my fundamental conflict with life outweighs whatever investment in or attachment I have to humanity or society.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I sometimes donate to a charity organisation and few days ago I've received an email about autism awareness. It said that many high functioning people with autism still struggle at workplaces and so on and if I would like to donate. I thought it was ironic as I am myself high functioning autist. I never got any support and always got treated by the same merits as a neurotypicals.

 

[Helvete]

I find it fun to try my hardest to pretend i dont have it and maybe people wont see it

 

[Linda]

Well, I hope my demise communicate the appropriate messages, though I have no control over that.

I don't quite appreciate the implications of that question. I'm just bitching as marked in a space where I know a lot of kindred autistic people are around.

Any cause I could devote myself to would necessitate remaining here and my fundamental conflict with life outweighs whatever investment in or attachment I have to humanity or society.

You didn't make it clear in your original post that you intend to ctb soon.
Venting is OK, and we all need to do it now and again. But it doesn't usually fix any problems. My own view - which you don't have to share - is that if I don't like the way the world is, it is up to me to do what I can to change it. If we all did that, even if each of us can only make a very small contribution, the world would soon become a better place.

 

[actualfemcel]

My own view - which you don't have to share - is that if I don't like the way the world is, it is up to me to do what I can to change it. If we all did that, even if each of us can only make a very small contribution, the world would soon become a better place.

You think a lot of people don't already apply that in their daily lives? It's like pissing in an ocean. It makes too little of a difference to matter. The world is a shit place to be in and that's a fact. At worst you get harassed and ostracized for trying to do things differently. That has been my experience.

Back to the topic, autism "awareness" as a concept and is indeed performative. Do the people spreading "awareness" give a shit about our struggles, how we are bullied just for being a little different, how we are treated like animals by our own family members and by society because autism is just another form of retardation to these people? The focus should be on destigmatization not "awareness" that lets bullies feel good about themselves.

 

[Shar]

It starts at 1 abril because its a joke

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Happy Autism Awareness… oh you're over 18? Here have some Sertaline, maybe your bipolar, oh maybe we need to up the MG dosage….

DIAGNOSIS? Definitely not! You need to do a case study on yourself in a folder, bring it to me the GP and then MAYBE we can look further into it. 5 months later - oh now the National Autistic Society is going to email the GP about the grant.

Fuxk all these stupid "insert nonsense here" months. Autism awareness, Mother's Day, Father's Day, black history, Alzheimer's month, all these stupid fuxkijg virtue signaling, wanting attention pieces of shit. Just so they morally look good and can show off. Get the fuck off with that!

 

[Malaria]

Yeah, I would feel like it's all performative. I want people to be kinder to those with autism but sadly we get bullied and taken advantage of all the time :(

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Yeah, I would feel like it's all performative. I want people to be kinder to those with autism but sadly we get bullied and taken advantage of all the time :(

And we are driven to this site. Lmao. Some world eh?

 

[Malaria]

And we are driven to this site. Lmao. Some world eh?

Yep... I have to believe that the statistic for autistic people on this site must be very high.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Yep... I have to believe that the statistic for autistic people on this site must be very high.

Autism and medical conditions is high here. If you get both you are doubley-fucked (yes I made that double barrelled word up lol). Autism threads and medical threads (mainly cancer) seem to get a lot of responses.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Yet many autistic people are undiagnosed or unaware about their condition

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

" ... autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits ..." I agree. So what are you going to do to ensure that it gets more respect and attention?

Exhausting. You have to realize how exhausting it is to read SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DOOOOO - YOU INDIVIDUAL TO FIX THIS!!!

Sweet Jesus. It's not on any of us, much autistic people. Asking disabled people to do the the emotional labor of ending ableism is some kind of bullshittery. Don't flag this either - you know this is a horrible response to do.

***

Autism acceptance is so neurotypical people can feel better they had their Happy Crip Month!!! celebrations. It doesn't get any of us any jobs so what is the point?

Autism is the #1 reason why I'm CTB. There are a bunch of other reasons, but if there was an actual treatment, I'd do it. But there's nothing. Having friends would be great, but I can live without them.

What I can't do is NOT work and disability and trying to work with a disabled mind is just cruel. I'm exhausted and unemployed and running out of money. I get to figure out about how much money to budget until my death.

Maybe I'll donate my brain to autism research and say 'fix this so people don't have to die'. There's a reason why autistic people just choose to exit. There is no life. This is no life. This is not a way to live. I'm essentially dead at this point with a half working brain and unable to work and speak properly under capitalism.

Wrapping things up some days feels wonderful as I get rid of things and stop going through the motions. The other days I cry myself to sleep wondering why nobody could help me when I was younger and had chance. It's too late for me.

If I could cut out by own brain and set it on fire, douse it with gasoline and destroy it, I would

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Exhausting. You have to realize how exhausting it is to read SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DOOOOO - YOU INDIVIDUAL TO FIX THIS!!!

Sweet Jesus. It's not on any of us, much autistic people. Asking disabled people to do the the emotional labor of ending ableism is some kind of bullshittery. Don't flag this either - you know this is a horrible response to do.

***

Autism acceptance is so neurotypical people can feel better they had their Happy Crip Month!!! celebrations. It doesn't get any of us any jobs so what is the point?

Autism is the #1 reason why I'm CTB. There are a bunch of other reasons, but if there was an actual treatment, I'd do it. But there's nothing. Having friends would be great, but I can live without them.

What I can't do is NOT work and disability and trying to work with a disabled mind is just cruel. I'm exhausted and unemployed and running out of money. I get to figure out about how much money to budget until my death.

Maybe I'll donate my brain to autism research and say 'fix this so people don't have to die'. There's a reason why autistic people just choose to exit. There is no life. This is no life. This is not a way to live. I'm essentially dead at this point with a half working brain and unable to work and speak properly under capitalism.

Wrapping things up some days feels wonderful as I get rid of things and stop going through the motions. The other days I cry myself to sleep wondering why nobody could help me when I was younger and had chance. It's too late for me.

If I could cut out by own brain and set it on fire, douse it with gasoline and destroy it, I would

I'm going to say this because I've noticed this. Linda is older than us and grew up in a different time. You can say this is a dig but that type of talk sounds exactly like my parents and look where I am now.
At that time there was some change you could do (I mean increments) but now with globalism and totalitarianism don't even bank on it. It's similar to saying "oh you don't like inflation? Tell the FED to go back to the old gold standard and relinquish all the control they have over us"
"Oh you're poor? Buy a house" hey even one that aligns to me: "oh you have cancer? Should have changed your genetics".

By the way all your points here are valid and completely logical. Unfortunately as you said it doesn't work in the world.

Edit: small changes won't make the world a better place. The amount of constant animals being put into the sanctuaries is never fuckijg ending. And that's having them as pets let alone massive societal changes to aspects on disabilities.

Edit2: also the fact I've had to pretty much become a GP and diagnose myself in order to get ANY help is outrageous. Only becuase I have higher IQ and like to systemise everything is how this has happened but I was still anxious and bloody lonely that I have to keep running through these hoops. My only other option is MONEY which is don't have. I doubt many people will have £3800 lying around to get checked for autism.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Autism is absolutely awful to have and I don't think that any neurotypical can understand that as, when they see the word autism, they think about the stereotypes of autistic people which are portrayed in the media (i.e. the hyper genius who is extremely awkward at social situations). I wouldn't be surprised if many neurotypicals think that the only thing autism affects is socialisation skills as that's the only part of autism which gets shown in the media. Of course autism does affect socialising but it also affects other things too. I've even seen some people claim that "autism is a superpower" or that "autism isn't a disability but only a different ability" and it's so infuriating to see. I even vented about this on my profile post this morning because of how rampant it seems for people to share these beliefs about autism.

And yet they claim to care about autism via this autism awareness month that almost nobody even knows about? What a joke

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Autism is absolutely awful to have and I don't think that any neurotypical can understand that as, when they see the word autism, they think about the stereotypes of autistic people which are portrayed in the media (i.e. the hyper genius who is extremely awkward at social situations). I wouldn't be surprised if many neurotypicals think that the only thing autism affects is socialisation skills as that's the only part of autism which gets shown in the media. Of course autism does affect socialising but it also affects other things too. I've even seen some people claim that "autism is a superpower" or that "autism isn't a disability but only a different ability" and it's so infuriating to see. I even vented about this on my profile post this morning because of how rampant it seems for people to share these beliefs about autism.

And yet they claim to care about autism via this autism awareness month that almost nobody even knows about? What a joke

Neurotypicals see autism as Rain Man or Down syndrome. Pretty much as you've said. I had that thrown as a joke in circles where I remember going to the cinema at age 12 and remembering the events very clearly.

Autism doesn't allow me to predict the future for the lottery or the stock market which could change my living situation and go off grid in the sense of dealing with people as minimally as possible. Some super power that is…..

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I'm going to say this because I've noticed this. Linda is older than us and grew up in a different time. You can say this is a dig but that type of talk sounds exactly like my parents and look where I am now.

Yeah nobody's getting a pass for being from a different generation. Coming onto this board and being all 'be the change you wish to see in the world' to people with a DISABILITY is toxic.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Yeah nobody's getting a pass for being from a different generation. Coming onto this board and being all 'be the change you wish to see in the world' to people with a DISABILITY is toxic.

Is it odd that I dont see is as a disability. Probably the masking for 3 decades. Now that I'm getting it checked and stuff I just see it as having no properties on the monopoly board and having no way to advance. Or maybe it's so similar to trauma that I've just accepted it for so long that I know it doesn't work with other people but just have to "deal with it".
My example above about rainmain and Down syndrome makes sense for neurotypicals because well facial features for Down syndrome are evident and "rainman" types can be non-verbal, don't look at faces at all, etc. but for the rest of us it's still bloody hard dealing with people, work, etc. Why do I have to be a doctor in order for this to be seen by a doctor??? It's that kind of attitude that makes things hard. Now imagine I'm autistic but don't have a high IQ. Can you imagine how hard it's going to be for that person to do research, hyperfocus, print out all the pages, arrange a folder, cross reference and underline traits that match them, etc. if they were in my position - they'd just be upping the MG dosage of Sertaline!

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

being an AuDHD means two disabilities. it's destroying my life. As much as I want a painless way I also want my brain to be obliterated because it has destroyed my soul

 

[snailfish]

Hurray for our performatively appointed month.

Still no one cares and my own family is as "aware" about it as a rock is of its existence.

People should care. Unlike many other marginalized attributes revolving around race, sex, sexual and gender identity, etc. that have been campaigned for over the years autism is functionally impactful as well as being socially marginalized.. Unlike other disabilities like paralysis or blindness it doesn't at least elicit any pity-laced sympathies or serve as "inspiration porn" for the normie contingents. Maybe those are good things. Though it does mean autism doesn't receive the amount of respect and attention it merits.

I have a twin neurotypical brother (with all the implications that suggests) and people have never understood why that has triggered me. Because that would require actually having an understanding of how autism has affected me. How could someone not find that upsetting? It just drives home the capricious and random nature of life in a visceral and disturbing way. The fact that he is not the greatest person doesn't help.

Yes, it would be swell to die in the month dedicated to this dumb condition.

I hope I'm not too late but I wanted to share something similar.

I'm autistic, and I have a younger brother whose autism is much worse than mine. The way he talks and looks is disgusting, and on top of that he's a horrible person. He's not capable of leading an independent life and my parents spoil him and delude him that he's normal. They're letting him go to college for acting and they're supporting his effort to become a singer (autistic people can do neither of these things). Meanwhile I'm pursuing a degree in Computer Science and making efforts to become fully independent. I have to sit with him at dinner, say nothing as he divulges into his disgusting behaviors like eating shit with his bare hands and chewing with his mouth open, and listen to him derail any conversation that starts up. It's humiliating. Being autistic is already hard enough, but having to constantly be around a worse version of myself is a crushing reminder of who I am. Super triggering.

No one deserves to be born with autism.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I hope I'm not too late but I wanted to share something similar.

I'm autistic, and I have a younger brother whose autism is much worse than mine. The way he talks and looks is disgusting, and on top of that he's a horrible person. He's not capable of leading an independent life and my parents spoil him and delude him that he's normal. They're letting him go to college for acting and they're supporting his effort to become a singer (autistic people can do neither of these things). Meanwhile I'm pursuing a degree in Computer Science and making efforts to become fully independent. I have to sit with him at dinner, say nothing as he divulges into his disgusting behaviors like eating shit with his bare hands and chewing with his mouth open, and listen to him derail any conversation that starts up. It's humiliating. Being autistic is already hard enough, but having to constantly be around a worse version of myself is a crushing reminder of who I am. Super triggering.

Well that's kind of the opposite of my situation, sort of. I'm sure my brother views me similarly, except with sharper contempt and pity and is grateful that among his problems, he doesn't have to count any kind of sibling jealousy among them.

I'm a little confused why you say autistic people can't sing or act. The famous singer Susan Boyle who blew everyone away with her "I dreamed a dream" is autistic. If you mean have success in the entertainment business, I'm sure that's much harder, but then again everything is.

No one deserves to be born with autism.

Definitely true.

 

[snailfish]

Well that's kind of the opposite of my situation, sort of. I'm sure my brother views me similarly, except with sharper contempt and pity and is grateful that among his problems, he doesn't have to count any kind of sibling jealousy among them.

I'm a little confused why you say autistic people can't sing or act. The famous singer Susan Boyle who blew everyone away with her "I dreamed a dream" is autistic. If you mean have success in the entertainment business, I'm sure that's much harder, but then again everything is.




Definitely true.

I guess I was imagining more severe autism. The point is that autistic people shouldn't delude themselves into thinking they can do something which they clearly can't (which varies per each individual). Autistic people are good at obsessing over stuff, so jobs like librarians and archivists are good fits for people who inherit more severe forms.