Happiness?

[brokeandbroken]

When is the lazy time you felt happy? I literally don't remember what it is like.

 

[Lucilius]

I was 12.

 

[mlcs]

13

 

[brokeandbroken]

I was 12.

I'm glad you remember it. I don't remember the feeling. What was it like?

13

Same question to you. What was it like?

 

[sheleftme1]

When I was with my ex was the first and last time I felt true happiness

 

[mlcs]

I'm glad you remember it. I don't remember the feeling. What was it like?

Same question to you. What was it like?

I remember waking up in the morning, instantly getting out of the bed and being happy just the way everything is. Sun is outside, I see bright colours, I feel the wind, I could cherish the simple moment. When I was 13 they started to treat me with drugs after psychotic episode, everything from that moment was constant battle with anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Never felt fully relaxed again. Got to the point where I can no longer do anything without pain in my chest. I think I'll ctb jumping this week. Litterally nothing left to stop me.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I remember waking up in the morning, instantly getting out of the bed and being happy just the way everything is. Sun is outside, I see bright colours, I feel the wind, I could cherish the simple moment. When I was 13 they started to treat me with drugs after psychotic episode, everything from that moment was constant battle with anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Never felt fully relaxed again. Got to the point where I can no longer do anything without pain in my chest. I think I'll ctb jumping this week. Litterally nothing left to stop me.

I'm sorry to hear that. In all honesty I have nothing to live for. No reason to be alive. I'm societies equivalent of discarded trash. Even my own mother never loved me. I wish I had a reason to live. I've fought hard to find one there just isn't one. Just time to end my fight. You can only fight for yourself so long. I've rallied so many times this time is different. I don't have the strength to anymore.

 

[Lucilius]

I'm glad you remember it. I don't remember the feeling. What was it like?

Same question to you. What was it like?

It's really silly. I had been playing this city building game called Pharaoh. Things were going well, my citizens were getting all the stuff they needed and according to the game they loved me. I was sitting on a train feeling a sense of satisfaction about it, looking at the beautiful landscape.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

When is the lazy time you felt happy? I literally don't remember what it is like.

I actually don't remember when I last had a real feeling of happiness but i guess that's probably at least 5 years ago.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Honestly, I also don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. It was too long ago. I don't know, I'm kind of used to this constant feeling of sadness, I've come to a point where I don't know anything else.

 

[CursedReality88]

When I was with my ex was the first and last time I felt true happiness

This is the hardest thing about life to me. Happiness is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever but the things you lose, are gone forever.

 

[brokeandbroken]

It's really silly. I had been playing this city building game called Pharaoh. Things were going well, my citizens were getting all the stuff they needed and according to the game they loved me. I was sitting on a train feeling a sense of satisfaction about it, looking at the beautiful landscape.

Wow that's kind of beautiful honestly.

I actually don't remember when I last had a real feeling of happiness but i guess that's probably at least 5 years ago.

I'm sorry to hear it's been so long.

Honestly, I also don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. It was too long ago. I don't know, I'm kind of used to this constant feeling of sadness, I've come to a point where I don't know anything else.

Same here. I cannot even conjure up the feeling. All I feel is loss, depression, sadness, and to be honest a lot of nothing.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Same here. I cannot even conjure up the feeling. All I feel is loss, depression, sadness, and to be honest a lot of nothing.

The more I think of it, I remember when I felt genuinely happy... When I was with this girl, even the depression was so much easier to manage, I felt truly alive. Sadly my issues and what I realized to be her cold nature didn't help so here we are...

 

[sheleftme1]

This is the hardest thing about life to me. Happiness is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever but the things you lose, are gone forever.

Unfortunately this situation this is true… she is gone and i can't even fight to get her back

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think the whole idea of true happiness is a delusion in this dreadful and futile existence, it doesn't exist to me and I know that I've never wished to exist here. To me existence could never be a desirable state, there's no benefit to existing, it's certainly a curse to have the ability to exist here, the only relief lies in permanently not existing.

 

[Death is my goal]

Happiness? what's that

 

[outrider567]

This is the hardest thing about life to me. Happiness is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever but the things you lose, are gone forever.

Gone forever

Wow that's kind of beautiful honestly.

I'm sorry to hear it's been so long.

Same here. I cannot even conjure up the feeling. All I feel is loss, depression, sadness, and to be honest a lot of nothing.

Yes

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I don't think I've ever felt happiness to the same degree as other people but the last time I was "content" if you can call it that was I think when I was about 21. I just remember driving to my dead end job and I started thinking about all the things I had in life-great parents, I was young and healthy, and although my job was minimum wage and I had wasted some potential, I quite liked my job and I had a couple of really good friends there. I also had no worries at all at that time. Within about a year my dad got diagnosed with terminal cancer and I've never felt content since. I just think back now like I had no idea what life had in store for me, even with the negative attitude I've always had, somehow it ended up far worse than I even thought it would.

 

[shatteredlife]

When I had friends

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Before the age of 8.

Literally one day the switch flipped, im convinced something must have happened in my brain.