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rabbithole

rabbithole

Experienced
Oct 26, 2020
271
But ate in the morning because I didn't know I would have it. I measured the 25g of sn for the first time just to see it. It isn't much but somehow it's more than I thought. Bleh. I don't even want to die I just know I can't live. Me living is causing a lot stress on my family and myself.

how're you guys today? Anyone else live in New England US and get snow?
 
L

LongLostNoHope

Member
Dec 16, 2020
68
But ate in the morning because I didn't know I would have it. I measured the 25g of sn for the first time just to see it. It isn't much but somehow it's more than I thought. Bleh. I don't even want to die I just know I can't live. Me living is causing a lot stress on my family and myself.

how're you guys today? Anyone else live in New England US and get snow?
Yes I got a little snow in the US. Is there any hope for you in the future? Please be 100% certain before you CBT. Sometimes things do get better. I hope your family is supporting you the best they can. I have no family or anyone and am in constant chronic pain in many ways. Now the pain is mental as well.... it's exhausting
 
rabbithole

rabbithole

Experienced
Oct 26, 2020
271
Yes I got a little snow in the US. Is there any hope for you in the future? Please be 100% certain before you CBT. Sometimes things do get better. I hope your family is supporting you the best they can. I have no family or anyone and am in constant chronic pain in many ways. Now the pain is mental as well.... it's exhausting
Thank you for your concern. There's no hope sadly. I have a condition called arachnoiditis. It's a nasty neurological disease. :(. I don't want to die I just can't live this way. I can't figure out how to. I'm sorry you also have chronic pain. It's a nightmare.
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
Don't worry. There will be more opportunities later on. I'm still waiting for mine.

Hang on there!

Hugs
 
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A

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Elementalist
Nov 11, 2020
886
But ate in the morning because I didn't know I would have it. I measured the 25g of sn for the first time just to see it. It isn't much but somehow it's more than I thought. Bleh. I don't even want to die I just know I can't live. Me living is causing a lot stress on my family and myself.

how're you guys today? Anyone else live in New England US and get snow?
If this saying resonates with ya it's not your time yet. "I don't wanna live but I don't want to die." It's how I currently feel.

Also I live in one of the most notorious snow states and rn we have no snow! Well in my area
 
L

LongLostNoHope

Member
Dec 16, 2020
68
I wish there was more verification that SN worked and was relatively pain free. How do we know what people feel when they sign off and are "unconscious?" As long as it works I could care less about temporarily pain at this point
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,566
If you were not 100% sure anyways it's probably good that you didn't know of this opportunity. It's better to have your mind set for sure that you wanna do it
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,394
I don't even want to die
I'm sorry @rabbithole, I'm sure others have said this, but... I would strongly encourage you to make sure that you want to die before you attempt. It would be tragic if you attempted on impulse and something happened, or you realized after taking it that you didn't want to die. I mean, with SN, it's easy to be saved if you have second thoughts...but then you would have to deal with the consequences on top of whatever you're already suffering from. I'm not trying to sound rude or bossy, I just don't want anyone to go through avoidable pain.

I'm from the US, but we just had some snow fall as well. Uninterrupted snow is beautiful.
 
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NegativeSymptoms

NegativeSymptoms

trying to recover
Sep 4, 2019
154
I wish there was more verification that SN worked and was relatively pain free. How do we know what people feel when they sign off and are "unconscious?" As long as it works I could care less about temporarily pain at this point
It works, check the fixthe26.com
 
rabbithole

rabbithole

Experienced
Oct 26, 2020
271
If this saying resonates with ya it's not your time yet. "I don't wanna live but I don't want to die." It's how I currently feel.

Also I live in one of the most notorious snow states and rn we have no snow! Well in my area
It's just that I can't live anymore without enduring more trauma. So I feel I need to end it.
It's just that I can't live anymore without enduring more trauma. So I feel I need to end it.
But I know what you mean for sure. I just keep living through trauma and I am mentally worn so bad that I'm afraid I won't be able to ctb soon because I won't be able to plan.
I'm sorry @rabbithole, I'm sure others have said this, but... I would strongly encourage you to make sure that you want to die before you attempt. It would be tragic if you attempted on impulse and something happened, or you realized after taking it that you didn't want to die. I mean, with SN, it's easy to be saved if you have second thoughts...but then you would have to deal with the consequences on top of whatever you're already suffering from. I'm not trying to sound rude or bossy, I just don't want anyone to go through avoidable pain.

I'm from the US, but we just had some snow fall as well. Uninterrupted snow is beautiful.
It's more of a need than a want. I really appreciate your concern. I do worry how ill react after taking it. I just cannot get my shit together mentally to adjust to my disability because I already had major mental health issues before becoming disabled. Ugh. It makes my heart want to stop from the stress.
 
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