Venting Had a razor blade today at work and my thoughts turned to ctb

[uglyugly]

I work retail and have a box cutter, which I lost, so I was using my backup to open boxes: a razor blade. As I was cutting open boxes, my thoughts turned to cutting my wrists right then and there on the sales floor. I did not, but the thing that stopped me was not because it would be damn stupid to do that at work (which it would be) but because I thought it may not work. I'm that far gone that my priorities are all fucked up.

I have never been so sad and have never wanted to die so badly. I am not living any more, I am only existing. Why couldn't the slut who hatched me have a damn abortion instead of brining me into this horrible world? (BTW, I am talking about the biological female that hatched me, not the mom who raised me.)

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing truly is so painful, I also just wish to be free from this cruel, terrible existence that just causes all this suffering. But anyway I hope you find peace eventually.

 

[BobSmoked]

Sending hugs just know that many of us struggle with the same kind of thoughts and feelings you aren't alone my friend.

Also thank you for sharing it's not easy sometimes.