had a dream about the friends that abandoned me

[emptymiku]

i can't escape. they're just haunting me at this point. this is probably the lowest i've ever felt in my life. i can't find peace i'm just being tormented

 

[redbathingduck]

I'm sorry to hear that. I actually have the same happen to me in my dreams quite often and it's been years at this point. I know that's not very consoling to hear probably but just wanted to say that I relate

 

[Pluto]

I went through the same thing many years ago. A purported best friend ghosted me because I finally expressed frustration about one of her behaviours - my unspoken need to walk on eggshells and never challenge her pathological lying. After that, the nightmares were fairly frequent for a couple of years, and always involved me begging for forgiveness even though I knew that I would be rejected again.

The funny part was that several years later, I finally got in contact and the friendship was restored. But then I got ripped off a bunch of money and I was used as a scapegoat. The friendship ended again, and this time the only trauma is the anger I feel at myself. It exposes all my issues of lacking boundaries, making excuses for horrible behaviour and only being comfortable with one-way friendships.

I wish I knew what the answer was, but I've drawn the conclusion that a childhood environment that completely normalises endless abuse is not a good foundation for any healthy adult relationships. I hope you are able to make more progress than I did.

 

[Anthrobella]

You're definitely not alone in your misery. So, so many of us have had this happen . . . years ago, the closest same-sex friend I've ever had abandoned me after I attempted to CTB. He was so horrified by my "irresponsibility" that he simply walked away from a rich and rare friendship. But I never dream about him, which is strange. Recently, I was totally ghosted by a girl with whom I'd been intimate for several years. She just left town one day. And I don't dream about her, either. I dream about so many people from my past, but for some weird reason, I never dream about those two . . . But I'm talking about myself, and I should be talking about you. I don't know you, but I know your pain. Please try to hang in there (in the good sense of the term!). You have a bunch of people here pulling for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be awful, it just shows that there is no relief from suffering in this world even in sleep. Humans certainly can be so cruel.