It's hard to describe the distress I felt when my SN source fell through (if you see this, can you please let me know what's happening? If you've changed your mind it's okay but please communicate this). After months of desperate searching for SN and the mystical N, it never dawned on me...I LIVE IN THE HEROIN CAPITAL OF MY COUNTRY!
A PEACEFUL DEATH AT LAST!
Whilst I haven't obtained it yet, it's hard to describe the bliss and relief I feel. Knowing my final moments don't have to be bloody, messy, indignifying, agonizingly painful and horrifically traumatising for my family and members of the public, has given me the hope I desperately needed.
Initially I didn't want to have to resort to hard drugs because I'm worried i'll be portrayed as fighting a battle I didn't fight, and that it was about H rather than the conscious decision to die. I'm worried about how my family will receive it, but I will explain to them in my note that it was the most peaceful option available to me. Other options would have been more traumatising for them.
Before this lightbulb moment I was seriously considering train decapitation and was deciding on the best spots to do it. I would have written a note apologising to the train driver and people on board. I hope to never resort to this method. If I ever do - know that my final moments were desperate and horrific.
I've never touched H or opiods and am absolutely fucking petrified of needles. I don't think I could inject myself successfully even if I desperately wanted to. I can't afford to fuck that one up.
If anyone could please advise me on snorting H as a method - dosing, testing for quality, etc. I've seen posts that suggest not bothering with snorting due to passing out or vomiting before the lethal dose. But my willpower begs to differ.
I will do it in a remote and isolated location, my favourite part of the world to be honest, where there will be no phone reception and hopefully no opportunity to change my mind and save myself.
A PEACEFUL DEATH AT LAST!
Whilst I haven't obtained it yet, it's hard to describe the bliss and relief I feel. Knowing my final moments don't have to be bloody, messy, indignifying, agonizingly painful and horrifically traumatising for my family and members of the public, has given me the hope I desperately needed.
Initially I didn't want to have to resort to hard drugs because I'm worried i'll be portrayed as fighting a battle I didn't fight, and that it was about H rather than the conscious decision to die. I'm worried about how my family will receive it, but I will explain to them in my note that it was the most peaceful option available to me. Other options would have been more traumatising for them.
Before this lightbulb moment I was seriously considering train decapitation and was deciding on the best spots to do it. I would have written a note apologising to the train driver and people on board. I hope to never resort to this method. If I ever do - know that my final moments were desperate and horrific.
I've never touched H or opiods and am absolutely fucking petrified of needles. I don't think I could inject myself successfully even if I desperately wanted to. I can't afford to fuck that one up.
If anyone could please advise me on snorting H as a method - dosing, testing for quality, etc. I've seen posts that suggest not bothering with snorting due to passing out or vomiting before the lethal dose. But my willpower begs to differ.
I will do it in a remote and isolated location, my favourite part of the world to be honest, where there will be no phone reception and hopefully no opportunity to change my mind and save myself.
haha.
