Discussion Guilt

[Lostone47]

Anyone else feel guilt after trying to ctb unbeknownst to the people that contact you afterwards? Here I am the morning after failing to ctb again, this time with nobody knowing it, with family calling me to make future plans. I don't want to not make the plans because I don't want them to be suspicious of my motives. At the same time I feel remorse for agreeing to things knowing whole heartedly I'm trying to figure out a way to die as soon as possible. Such a weird place to be.

 

[lament.]

Anyone else feel guilt after trying to ctb unbeknownst to the people that contact you afterwards? Here I am the morning after failing to ctb again, this time with nobody knowing it, with family calling me to make future plans. I don't want to not make the plans because I don't want them to be suspicious of my motives. At the same time I feel remorse for agreeing to things knowing whole heartedly I'm trying to figure out a way to die as soon as possible. Such a weird place to be.

I feel the exact same, the other day I was asked by my family about what I wanted to do for my 20th birthday in a few months and I'm just sitting there like I'm not going to live long enough to see that day at this rate.

 

[greatgooglymoogly]

Anyone else feel guilt after trying to ctb unbeknownst to the people that contact you afterwards? Here I am the morning after failing to ctb again, this time with nobody knowing it, with family calling me to make future plans. I don't want to not make the plans because I don't want them to be suspicious of my motives. At the same time I feel remorse for agreeing to things knowing whole heartedly I'm trying to figure out a way to die as soon as possible. Such a weird place to be.

It's the worst feeling. After I chickened out a couple months ago, I just had to go right into the next day with work, class projects, relationship like nothing happened. Couldn't tell anyone about it. No one knows that I was probably minutes away from not being there with them at that moment.

I feel the exact same, the other day I was asked by my family about what I wanted to do for my 20th birthday in a few months and I'm just sitting there like I'm not going to live long enough to see that day at this rate.

I relate. I'm a 20 year old who did not plan on turning 20