I have a boyfriend whom has already lost a friend due to CTB and a dog that I absolutely adore and would be depressed himself once I have left... how does anyone overcome this guilt
Sherri
-
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,802
Well you have 2 options, either you stick around for your pet, or find him a forever home with loving people who will look very well after your pet.
You care about your BF and dog. There's no overcoming that guilt because your heart won't let you. I feel your in that pain tho, it's tough.
I
I cant stay :(
I feel guilty for getting into a relo and giving the impression i was mentally stable tbh... its tough
Sherri
-
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,802
If it’s a dog is harder for it to adapt to a new environment, a cat is slightly easier to adapt as they are more independent.
I'm in exactly the same boat. A friend of mine has my pets right now because I can't have them where I live anyway but the s/o is the hard part for me. I'm probably just gonna leave a note explaining how there was nothing he could've done/it's not his fault
Raminiki
Iustitia Mortuus
- Jun 12, 2020
- 269
Same. I rescued a cat from stressful conditions and they've settled well and bonded with me, and it's wrenching to plan around them, to lock myself in another room, leave food and water etc, a care letter and instructions to collect and find a new home.
S/O would be devastated, but compensated considerably financially in a manner that would allow them a new start in life and the chance to find someone not mentally ill. They'd be better off, and benefit, from my death.
So would all my family, they can fight over my estate and exploit me even after I'm gone. That's a different matter, though.
S/O would be devastated, but compensated considerably financially in a manner that would allow them a new start in life and the chance to find someone not mentally ill. They'd be better off, and benefit, from my death.
So would all my family, they can fight over my estate and exploit me even after I'm gone. That's a different matter, though.
If you’re having a lot of guilt it’s not time yet. Your sense of duty and love remains. When all hope is gone those things dull or fade away. The bus will be there later if you need it. Take it one day at a time and work through your feelings to see if you need to go or need to stick around for them.
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,804
I could/would Never give up on my Dog! He's my Best Friend!
darksideofthebright
Check in on your happy friend
- Nov 10, 2020
- 251
I personally think that one should only be determined to ctb once they've exhausted all the available sources of support. There's still so much to your story that we don't know, but it doesn't really seem to me that you've given your boyfriend a chance to provide you his support.
With your pet, same as people have mentioned, it might be a good idea to find a good home for your dog first.
For me, I've come to terms with being determined to ctb because I've personally turned to all resources of support available to me, and altogether, they still aren't enough to help me cope with my personal sufferings. At least, that puts my minds (and hopefully their minds) at ease that we have all done our best, and there would be nothing one could have done more.
I hope that can somehow give you some sorts of perspective and I hope you can find the peace you need and deserve soon!
With your pet, same as people have mentioned, it might be a good idea to find a good home for your dog first.
For me, I've come to terms with being determined to ctb because I've personally turned to all resources of support available to me, and altogether, they still aren't enough to help me cope with my personal sufferings. At least, that puts my minds (and hopefully their minds) at ease that we have all done our best, and there would be nothing one could have done more.
I hope that can somehow give you some sorts of perspective and I hope you can find the peace you need and deserve soon!
I'm in the same situation. I'm only sticking around for my partner, mom and dog. I'm just trying to exhaust all my options in life because I really want to live i feel forced out of life.
Apathy's Girl
Student
- Jul 20, 2020
- 102
I used to be staying alive for my husband. At this point in life we're just married in name only. I think he will be fine without me. It is a toss up between my mom and my dog. Neither one will understand why but I think it will be hardest on the dog because he won't understand that I'm not coming home. Worrying about it keeps me up at night. It seems like such a silly thing. I love my dog so much and don't know what he'll do without me. He is always at my side.
painoflife
Arcanist
- Jul 27, 2019
- 414
I feel the same. My partner would suffer a lot as I am his carer and my cat would be so confused I wasnt around anymore
Nimbus
Hanging on is hard
- Dec 2, 2019
- 211
I have 2 cats and a S/O that has been by my side for nearly 13 yrs. It breaks my heart to think of leaving them. I illogically think that I'll miss them after I'm gone. But I know my S/O will take care of my cats, he loves them as much as I do. But at this point I'm untreatable and my depression is no longer bearable. I know my death will hurt him but it's not fair to him to continue to support me in every way just to see me deteriorate and become even more miserable. I don't want to be a burden to him or my family and that's where things are headed. It hurts to think how much it will hurt them, but I think it would be worse to slowly drain them of resources and support just to see me die slowly.
I broke up with a 3 year GF since I knew my time was near. Sucks, but it's unfair to make someone invest more time in you when you don't have a future