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toro

toro

dr pepper drinker
Feb 11, 2023
117
ughh im just struggling at the minute, I wont give the details of what I do for a living because it would identify me, but its somewhere in the field of healthcare. work has been disgusting recently, its never been that great but I'm talking like, we are understaffed, the supervisors lie to us over and over, they promised to support us by allowing overtime and even creating a 'list' only for it to come out that they are NOT bringing it back and did not have any intentions to actually follow up on that promise. recently my team is completely barren, 2 of my coworkers are on longterm sick (one over 3 months off, the other is getting on to 8 months now), and the only other guy on the team took a month off and eventually quit the job so I am working completely alone to manage my entire 'section'.

staff from other 'sections' are helping and covering, but they arent happy, my 'section' is complicated and hard to understand, the people we work with (not coworkers, hard to explain without exposing my job role) in this 'section' are rude and get away with berating you, not even a slap on the wrist. i have heard my coworkers complain about having to cover and help me and accuse me behind my back of taking advantage of the situation and that I don't do enough work. when I went in on Monday last week after being off for an infection I was taken to urgent care for, I found that we had over 200 pending to action, I spent all day getting this number down while more and more requests flooded in. in between me working to keep our workload down, I also have other part of my job I must tend to, an online form that I need to maintain, a sheet of info that I must keep updated regularly and action off of, and hundreds of phone calls, I am constantly being interrupted to be asked questions regarding my 'section' by the people helping to cover, which often ends with them just dropping the task in my lap for me to do (while still ticking it off as their own work).

i had a breakdown last week on Thursday, I spent the entire day in tears and had to excuse myself to have multiple panic attacks in the bathroom, this ended in me being approached by the departments supervisors multiple times to ask if I was okay and how they could 'make work bearable for me' when they had already that day essentially told me to bend over and get fucked when I complained about the attitude of the people I am expected to work with and asked that they follow the POLICY within the workplace that ensures the work is easy and fast to action (these people I work with make their instructions unclear and will antagonise you when you ask for clarification). i asked my supervisor if I could please go home just an hour early because I was too distressed to stay, and once again I got a no (although sympathetic). i spent the last hour with my head in my hands and my entire body shaking, then when it was finally time for me to leave and go home I was pulled aside twice and asked to help 2 different members of staff with 2 different issues (and then after that, pulled aside once again for the same reason). i was livid and upset when I finally got home and exploded all my frustrations on my mum who advised me that I 'shouldnt let work follow [me] home', though that is so much easier said than done.

on Sunday I decided to make an urgent phonecall to my GP and request an appointment for as soon as possible and was lucky enough to get one for the same day in the afternoon, he has since prescribed me new anti-depressants (which the pharmacy don't have in yet... annoying) and asked me to remain off work for 4 weeks (alongside a sick note) so that we can trial run this medication. i feel so much guilt for being off, all I can think about is the fact that my coworkers in other 'sections' are stuck covering me now and that they're probably all so angry and all this has done is exacerbate their belief that I am lazy and unwilling to do my job despite all of the work I do constantly. i don't like knowing that ive 'ditched my post' or whatever, and for FOUR WEEKS at that, I would've been cool with like maybe a week, 2 weeks max, but the sick notes been handed in and I cannot end the sickness any earlier. dr also wants to do blood tests and has urged me to seek private therapy. i don't know what I'll do when its time to go back.

sorry if you've read all of this! just needed to vent out my frustrations a little because everyone in my life just tells me to 'stop worrying about work when you're off the clock' but I just cant do that, I cant make that disconnect.
 
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DeathWish3301

DeathWish3301

Member
May 15, 2024
75
I think the fact that this bothers you means you take pride in your work and have a strong work ethic. That's something to be proud of yourself for. I get the difficulty of the disconnect you mention.

I started working when I turned sixteen and have been since. Went on short term disability for mental health from my last job in August of last year, resigned when that ran out a couple months later cause I wasn't planning on still being around. Haven't worked since and I feel like an absolute loser.

I was lucky enough to have managers and supervisors who were extremely understanding of my issues. They tried to work with me as much as they could to keep me with the organization. I felt the same guilt about others having to do my work for me.

Forget if they're angry or whatever they think about it, though. Disability, FMLA and other programs exist for this reason.

As far as when it's time to go back, just go back to doing your job. You might be able to transition back in with no issue. If things start being hostile or whatever, might be time to find a new career.
 
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toro

toro

dr pepper drinker
Feb 11, 2023
117
this is such a lovely response, thank you so much for all the kind words!!! I'm glad you understand :) I'm trying to focus on enjoying the break while I have it, will hopefully be far easier once the pharmacy has my new meds in stock lol
 
steppenwolf

steppenwolf

Not a student
Oct 25, 2023
135
Work will blight your existence
 
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Ironborn

Ironborn

Student
Jan 29, 2024
163
Don't feel guilty, work these days is basically slavery, after almost 17 years of full time work I just quit at the start of the year after trying to ctb.
Full on breakdown, rampant alcoholism didn't help.
Last few months I started running again, quit drinking and just been eating through my savings.
Still have issues but have since I was a lot younger.
Work is a mugs game these days, government swipes 25% before it even reaches your bank account.
Never seen a return on my taxes, police are useless unless you wrongthink, roads are just holes and rubble, can't get a doctor's appointment to save your life, trust me I tried during the lockdown when I was working.
I have given my blood, sweat and tears for the past two decades for nothing in return, housing/rent is a joke as well to top it all off.
Thinking if I don't pull the plug later this year once my money is gone just become a burden on the state because I'm sure as hell not earning one more pound for them.
 
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tpboy

tpboy

No Karma Cafe
Aug 4, 2023
308
Work can rob you of your soul, that is if we have one.
 
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