I understand the pressure of trying to make everyone who supports you feel like their time is worthwhile and wanting to make them proud.
I have been learning lately with my new therapist that my own mom has made some mistakes that have made me unable to handle my emotions and reactions correctly or appropriately; however in general for all the things she's had to raise me and my older siblings through, she's done a pretty good job. Because of her - and I guess luck, I've had many good psychiatrists, therapists and even my pediatrician (adolescent and young adult medicine specialist) be a part of my mental health care team. Even though my therapist or psychiatrist has changed a few times, I've still had ones who generally helped me by teaching me techniques for different things. My siblings are also kind of supportive in their weird own ways.
I understand how fortunate I am to have these professionals and my family be there for me because as others have noted, I'm well aware a support group like that is not common. But ironically, that's one of the things that makes me feel worse. I imagine OP feels similarly. "Why am I the one who is receiving all this attention, when I am worthless? I am ugly, dumb and useless by any means, and always fail even at the simplest of things. Anything I will do in life, I will fail at eventually. Life is just too hard and nonstop stress. I am not worthy of their devotion, I deserve to die as I am just a continous disappointment to everyone who's ever had faith in me." These are thoughts I've been having for over 6 years, and I bet OP you've thought things like this?
