Guess who's back, and feeling more dead inside.

[FnlExitProtocol93]

Hello everyone, I was gone for a month or two as I got treatment and a new therapist. But I'm down to one car, to shuttle me, my roommate, and my brother to work. Brother won't work the extra hours, I can't take the extra hours because I have to be their ride.
I just wish my car didn't break it's cv axle and knuckle. I mean I'm hoping for my jobs assistance fund to come through for my repairs but right now I'm just stuck. I'll have to miss my own birthday because there's no car available then because they take it to work.
It just, it's snowballing and I'm realizing besides prayer I don't think I might get out of this. My roommate has money now but won't use it because he's playing Biocoin.
Honestly I feel like just dying off,
I'm considering, though extremely painful, drowning in the Hamilton low dam before they remove it since people die there frequently.
I just, I've started hrt, I feel like I'm regretting it. I just feel like we're struggling for nothing.

 

[Canto XIII]

I know you're probably feeling awful, I'm so sorry about that and I don't want to trivialize your pain, but honestly speaking these seem just like stumbling blocks. I imagine they are in fact things which sharpen a preexisting pain or are based in it, but you should recognize them for what they are, stuff which is surely annoying and maybe even exasperating, but ultimately minor and, what's most important, resolvable, and not renounce something special like your own life because of them. Have you talked about this with your new therapist?

 

[FnlExitProtocol93]

I know you're probably feeling awful, I'm so sorry about that and I don't want to trivialize your pain, but honestly speaking these seem just like stumbling blocks. I imagine they are in fact things which sharpen a preexisting pain or are based in it, but you should recognize them for what they are, stuff which is surely annoying and maybe even exasperating, but ultimately minor and, what's most important, resolvable, and not renounce something special like your own life because of them. Have you talked about this with your new therapist?

I see her Monday. It's just feeling strained and me having to be the apartment secretary. Also I gotta spend the next three months solely on rent. It's all just coming together awfully. Especially since next week's check has to be split for utilities, towing my car to the shop to get the quote then tow it back. As well as carry enough for gas.

Honestly what annoys me is that we're sinking, but the roommate is too dedicated to this crypto bio mess. Yet he's got more than enough to repair it and his car.