Growing fascination with body mutilation

[Cauliflour]

It kinda scares me how much I want to stab myself and burn myself and basically fuck up my body lol. I guess it's guilt cause people have complimented me on my appearance throughout my life...but like a nice, thick line of stitches on the side of the torso would look so hot and feel so hot in the action and the process of waiting for the ambulance to show up but I have to keep these as merely fantasies as I can't even reach bean level when cutting on my arm, let alone cause a massive scar on my torso. I like to look at photos of stab wounds and stuff and make mood boards but I swear I've gone a bit squeamish. I swear I didn't used to be like this like I've watched videos of people getting mauled by bears and getting stabbed in the throat and dying on camera and just watched with fascination, why is this sympathy trying to kick in it's distracting me.

God now I sound like a wannabe serial killer.

I'm not, by the way. I already have a body to inflict my uttermost desires onto and it's the one that's typing out this very post :). God I'm tired.

 

[liquid jen]

SAME. I feel kinda gross about it when I sorta fetishize hurting myself, but I can't help it. I wouldn't say anything I've done could be considered "mutilation" besides maybe carving words, but the yearn is definitely there.

 

[Cauliflour]

SAME. I feel kinda gross about it when I sorta fetishize hurting myself, but I can't help it. I wouldn't say anything I've done could be considered "mutilation" besides maybe carving words, but the yearn is definitely there.

The human body is more interesting under all the skin, what can I say?