Gravestone and deadnames

[abndnd33990]

I just found out that it's legal to put a different name than the legal one on a gravestone. It's pretty cool, but there's no guarantee that my family will do it.

I will leave a note, asking them to use my preferred name. I've given up on pretty much everything, so I can't be bothered to apply for a name change.

I'm pretty sure they can do that for me, but if they don't, it won't be a big deal. Not like I'll be there to worry about it, right?

 

[quietism]

Would you rather, have a deadnamed grave, or no grave at all? Erased history or rewritten history?

 

[supergold#2]

hey, just fyi, if you're in the usa, any hospital (and most clinics) have the capacity to help you write a living will, which can stipulate your chosen name for a gravestone (though idk the particularities of it's enforceability, but it could be worth the conversation)

 

[abndnd33990]

hey, just fyi, if you're in the usa, any hospital (and most clinics) have the capacity to help you write a living will, which can stipulate your chosen name for a gravestone (though idk the particularities of it's enforceability, but it could be worth the conversation)

I'm from Poland, afaik I can write a will without any kind of help(?) and it'll be legally valid. But I don't know if it applies to things like this. It's a bit complicated, but I trust that they'll do that for me.

Would you rather, have a deadnamed grave, or no grave at all? Erased history or rewritten history?

What do you mean by "rewritten history"? Honestly, it's not that important. I just think it'd be nice to be remembered as X and not Y, because everyone knows me as X. It creates unnecessary confusion for people who don't know my deadname. But as I said, I'll be dead and it won't be my problem.