Grandma next to room

[DaSh]

Hey,

My Method is SN and I live at my grandma's place. She sleeps in the room next to me.

I'm not worried if she wakes up during the process (she sleeps like a rock).
I'm worried what will happen if she finds me several our's later...

Me laying there grey and blue.

I don't want to get her an heart attack or smh. I thought of putting my note infront my door and there's a page saying don't open till read note...

Maybe she would be a little bit more prepared then and not lose consciousness. I know other's will be hurt too but I don't want to be the killer of my grandma.

Why must all this be so difficult

Maybe you guys can help me out with this

 

[Aim]

Yiiik, yess that sucks! Very sorry about that. I understand that you don't want your grandma to see it (because she will most likely) but what about doing it in a hotel room.. maybe or something

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If you're worried about your grandma finding you and this is nomal! then maybe you shouldn't CTB there. I doubt that she would respect a note ... this is just a human feeling in this case.

It's an unsolvable problem we all have,either we are suffering fro decades or loved ones have to suffer until they realize that ctb was the best option for us.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[DaSh]

If you're worried about your grandma finding you and this is nomal! then maybe you shouldn't CTB there. I doubt that she would respect a note ... this is just a human feeling in this case.

It's an unsolvable problem we all have,either we are suffering fro decades or loved ones have to suffer until they realize that ctb was the best option for us.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Sadly I'm literally locked during nighttime but I do know a place nobody knows about where I could do the job during daytime.

I just don't want to be found as a corpse there cuz as said no one knows this place. Maybe I could just turn my snapmap on. Yeah I think that's it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Sadly I'm literally locked during nighttime but I do know a place nobody knows about where I could do the job during daytime.

I just don't want to be found as a corpse there cuz as said no one knows this place. Maybe I could just turn my snapmap on. Yeah I think that's it.

well, why care about the corpse? It's just a cluster of atoms left behind ...

But yeah I know and understand death is sth so difficult for living beings especially or loved ones

 

[Dot]

Sadly I'm literally locked during nighttime but I do know a place nobody knows about where I could do the job during daytime.

I just don't want to be found as a corpse there cuz as said no one knows this place. Maybe I could just turn my snapmap on. Yeah I think that's it.

Wdym lockd in durng night-tme

Hw cme as an adult u r lockd in durng nght-tme

 

[DaSh]

Wdym lockd in durng night-tme

Hw cme as an adult u r lockd in durng nght-tme

It's complicated. Without here I would be living on the streets. So it's her house her rules and I have to follow them to avoid living on the streets...

 

[Little_Suzy]

In certain regions, such as Latin America, homes have burglar bars on not just the windows but also the doors, and residents lock up for the night. However, the OP should have a key. Or, maybe grandma only has one set of keys.

I also believe that Grandma should not find you. The shock of it all might cause her a heart attack or make her psychologically fragile. Please choose another location If possible.

 

[Iwillhavepeace]

Legit have the same problem lol
She'll hear you mate
You'll puke very loudly she will wake up and worry
Doesn't matter how well she sleeps those sounds wake up anyone
And yes she will be extremely sad

 

[DaSh]

She's 84...
So she could pass anytime.

I just can't imagine my family losing me and my grandma at the same time.

She'd probably get a heartattack anyways if she'd just find out without seeing my body but than it atleast wouldn't be my fault in some kind.

It really does no difference at all...

 

[Deleted member 65988]

She's 84...
So she could pass anytime.

I just can't imagine my family losing me and my grandma at the same time.

She'd probably get a heartattack anyways if she'd just find out without seeing my body but than it atleast wouldn't be my fault in some kind.

It really does no difference at all...

Could it possible to stay a little longer.

 

[DaSh]

Could it possible to stay a little longer.

No because then my siblings would be even more devistated if I'd ctb

 

[Deleted member 65988]

No because then my siblings would be even more devistated if I'd ctb

In all scenarios, everyone will be devastated so do you feel like now is the time and no other?

 

[DaSh]

In all scenarios, everyone will be devastated so do you feel like now is the time and no other?

Idk all of this going through my head all the time.
It drives me crazy...

In all scenarios, everyone will be devastated so do you feel like now is the time and no other?

Idk if I can get through all of this anymore.
Idk if it's even worth.
I just took 2 Xans, some Clonazepam and Lyrica. Maybe I should do my SN plan tonight. Maybe...

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Idk if I can get through all of this anymore.
Idk if it's even worth.
I just took 2 Xans, some Clonazepam and Lyrica. Maybe I should do my SN plan tonight. Maybe...

I personally don't think you should rush into it as yet but if it's a decision you think is necessary then I guess you can. @DaSh you still thinking about it?

 

[Lupgevif]

You can't lock the door? And leave a note telling her to immediately call the police?

 

[Deleted member 65988]

You can't lock the door? And leave a note telling her to immediately call the police?

In situations like this, sometimes people have to make do with what they can like locking the door but I don't know.

 

[DaSh]

I have no key she hid it...

But she wears a breathing mask for sleep she doesn't hear shit.

The note infront the door would just be some kind of preperation so she's not too shocked...

Offtopic but I have a question. I have cariprazin at home (it's an antipsychotic) so it act's like a Dopamine blocker.

My question is can I take only one pill for the anthimethic effects to work or do I have to already stay on it for few days/weeks?

 

[Rhizomorph1]

I personally don't think you should rush into it as yet but if it's a decision you think is necessary then I guess you can. @DaSh you still thinking about it?

I second this. As painful as it is, it will save you and your family from suffering by having a deliberate, well-thought out plan.

I would consider a hotel or even finding someplace outdoors, inside a random shed, etc. if you can't afford a hotel then go for a walk around to scout out some places that would be comfortable and undisturbed. I'm not sure where you're located but I encourage trying to get creative!

Even if grandma lives, it is traumatizing to discover a body. Ideally you can use a website like Futureme.org to notify the authorities who are trained and will not be traumatized

Food for thought. There is no right or wrong at the end of the day <3

Wishing you peace in living or dying

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I second this. As painful as it is, it will save you and your family from suffering by having a deliberate, well-thought out plan.

I would consider a hotel or even finding someplace outdoors, inside a random shed, etc. if you can't afford a hotel then go for a walk around to scout out some places that would be comfortable and undisturbed. I'm not sure where you're located but I encourage trying to get creative!

Even if grandma lives, it is traumatizing to discover a body. Ideally you can use a website like Futureme.org to notify the authorities who are trained and will not be traumatized

Food for thought. There is no right or wrong at the end of the day <3

Wishing you peace in living or dying

A little worried that OP hasn't said a word since. Perhaps they'll come back and say they didn't do it in the end or they've thought about it and decided to do it tonight, forgoing any reason to care what their grandmother's reaction will be.

I agree though, locations can be found where a ctb can be carried out.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

A little worried that OP hasn't said a word since. Perhaps they'll come back and say they didn't do it in the end or they've thought about it and decided to do it tonight, forgoing any reason to care what their grandmother's reaction will be.

I agree though, locations can be found where a ctb can be carried out.

Crossing my fingers OP checks in soon. But also wishing them peace if they decide to go through with it anyways...

Time will tell

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Crossing my fingers OP checks in soon. But also wishing them peace if they decide to go through with it anyways...

Time will tell

That's all we can, hope for the best because they did seem to think about it due to taking Xanax, Clona and Lyrica. Anyway, I hope OP checks in, I'm exhausted so I'm out.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

That's all we can, hope for the best because they did seem to think about it due to taking Xanax, Clona and Lyrica. Anyway, I hope OP checks in, I'm exhausted so I'm out.

Rest up. This site can be emotionally draining. As with it all

Hugs

 

[DaSh]

Crossing my fingers OP checks in soon. But also wishing them peace if they decide to go through with it anyways...

Time will tell

Still here. You're right. I can't show my dead body to my grandma after all she' done for me. I know a good place outside where no one will find me. I think I'll give it a few days...thanks for the support!

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Still here. You're right. I can't show my dead body to my grandma after all she' done for me. I know a good place outside where no one will find me. I think I'll give it a few days...thanks for the support!

For sure!

Spend some time meditating and deliberating. It will be worth it in the end to ensure your ctb is peaceful for you and those you love <3

Ive personally made a Ulysses pact with myself to not ctb spontaneously or in a state of impaired mind (e.g., while panicked or under the influence of drugs)

A rational, thought out, dignified death is incredibly valuable.

Reach out if you want to chat!

 

[DaSh]

For sure!

Spend some time meditating and deliberating. It will be worth it in the end to ensure your ctb is peaceful for you and those you love <3

Ive personally made a Ulysses pact with myself to not ctb spontaneously or in a state of impaired mind (e.g., while panicked or under the influence of drugs)

A rational, thought out, dignified death is incredibly valuable.

Reach out if you want to chat!

This all sounds very good. I'll try to think about it. (I'm bipolar)...but meditating sounds comforting and calm to me thank you.

As for drugs Imma go for XTC and 2cB tomorrow.

So...I atleast will give it till tomorrow let's see...

Nonetheless thank you!

 

[Rhizomorph1]

This all sounds very good. I'll try to think about it. (I'm bipolar)...but meditating sounds comforting and calm to me thank you.

As for drugs Imma go for XTC and 2cB tomorrow.

So...I atleast will give it till tomorrow let's see...

Nonetheless thank you!

For sure! Go easy on the XTC as the comedown can be awful and especially shitty with bipolar.

Likewise XTC and lithium/other bipolar meds can be a really painful combination due to risks of serotonin syndrome. Just a heads up.

I'd aim to plan your ctb sometime after the XTC comedown goes away (e.g., minimum 2 weeks after); in accordance with the Ulysses pact I mentioned before. But it's ultimately your call.

Hope you have fun regardless :)
I loveee 2C-B

 

[DaSh]

For sure! Go easy on the XTC as the comedown can be awful and especially shitty with bipolar.

Likewise XTC and lithium/other bipolar meds can be a really painful combination due to risks of serotonin syndrome. Just a heads up.

I'd aim to plan your ctb sometime after the XTC comedown goes away (e.g., minimum 2 weeks after); in accordance with the Ulysses pact I mentioned before. But it's ultimately your call.

Hope you have fun regardless :)
I loveee 2C-B

Thanks for the info.

I always look up informatiom at psychonaut wiki...I know quite well about the comedown. I'm just still not sure if I should use it for my ctb.

I did ketamine few days ago and it felt so fkin good. But even with it's antidepressive effects all I think about is ctb. I'm really thinking I'm gonna use the comedown for ctb reasons.

I hate this life and what it has become. You can't even imagine what I was/still going through.

I don't have to look deep down in my heart that I wan't this life to end.

I wanted it for way too long...

I guess the comedown will tell..

 

[DaSh]

I'm afraid it's the only option...
I really don't wanna let it go down that way but
atleast I don't have to care in the end

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I'm afraid it's the only option...
I really don't wanna let it go down that way but
atleast I don't have to care in the end

I have to ask what do you mean by this?