[Goodbye]

[Relief]

I'm leaving this platform today. My initial plan remains relatively the same. On the 9th of november I will hang myself at around 22. i've only been on ss for 6 days and have a few things to share.

First, this platform is mostly composed of people who think they want to die but are truly just searching for emotional support. There is nothing wrong with that. However, try to be self aware enough to acknowledge that you do want help.

Secondly, i find it very strange that the posts that have most engagement are goodbye posts (for those who are actually about to part, or at least attempt) and tributes. An evident consequence of my first point. You are drawn to the possibility and reality of suicide yet you remain in safe distance admiration.

Thirdly, and as my final (non requested) opinion, if you care about anyone in your family or friend circle reach out to them. It doesn't mean your suicidal tendencies will suddenly disappear yet, i can assure you you will appreciate their help. If you care for others you can also care for yourself.

Goodbye

 

[trynacbt]

Interesting observations. Can I ask why you're deciding to leave the platform early? Regardless, I wish you well. I hope your departure is peaceful.

 

[Itsalmosttime]

"First, this platform is mostly composed of people who think they want to die but are truly just searching for emotional support"

I couldn't agree more. It can be very frustrating if you're serious about suicide.

 

[Rachel74]

Goodbye x

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

"First, this platform is mostly composed of people who think they want to die but are truly just searching for emotional support"

I couldn't agree more. It can be very frustrating if you're serious about suicide.

Lots of people here just to "look".

Lots of people here just to "look".

Edit: Goodbye... x

 

[Morphosis]

Thirdly, and as my final (non requested) opinion, if you care about anyone in your family or friend circle reach out to them. It doesn't mean your suicidal tendencies will suddenly disappear yet, i can assure you you will appreciate their help. If you care for others you can also care for yourself.

In my case, reaching out to family/ friends made a bad situation a million times worse. I ended up on the streets homeless as they couldn't deal with the stress of possibly finding my dead body at some stage.

I'm glad you obviously have caring, supportive family and friends whose help was appreciated. Some people don't have that and run the real risk of getting sectioned or at the very least ostracized if they "reach out". Other people have nobody at all.

This forum very clearly states it is pro-choice whereas you seem disappointed it is not more pro-suicide? If people find a human connection on here that is often missing from their daily lives, and as a result no longer wish to die, I think that's amazing. Or others want to feel like they mattered to someone before departing this world, as (again) they often can't find that in real life. Lots of people admit that the emotional support they have received on here has been a turning point for them.

Personally, if I made a "goodbye" thread and nobody bothered engaging in it, I would feel even worse. I think people often just want to show they care. Or maybe I'm just being delusional in trying to see the best in folk. That has been my downfall in the past.

 

[Nem]

This site is what you make of it. Some people are suffering and hanging on for various reasons but it doesn't matter in the end.

 

[Escargot Shorts]

If people find a human connection on here that is often missing from their daily lives, and as a result no longer wish to die, I think that's amazing.

Right, if anything a more accurate statement would be that this site is made up of people who want to die and are just searching for emotional support.

 

[JSauter]

You can both be at the end of your proverbial rope, ready and resigned to die and still desire emotional support. We are only human. They're not mutually exclusive.

 

[BPD_LE]

Erm.... OK. Bye.

 

[Escargot Shorts]

And while I can understand what may be frustrating about users that may see to be here for more voyeuristic purposes, i also think it's a lot more complex than that. while commiserating is inherently an experience about sharing one's own perspective and details, finding out the extent of another's melancholy is a feature, not a bug. i don't believe the intended purpose there is to set a value to someone's shared vulnerability and determine if it's "more" or "less" suicidal than you.

But also, let's talk about voyeurism. I've been on this site on and off for about a year. And while i've encountered personalities i don't necessarily think i vibe with, i've never really had problems. no one's getting ousted for verbalizing their ideation and unnecessarily abrasive people are dealt with. which, for the internet, is pretty good. at its best, i think going so far as to find this forum, let alone create an account for it, says something about the person who went through all that. Genuine discussions about suicide has not repulsed them, but instead spoke to a curiosity: either for them to examine their own beliefs about right-to-die, a chance to process the notion that possibly anyone they know may be suicidal (which goes in hand with realizing they perhaps have not necessarily made themselves a viable avenue for those loved ones to open up, due to held stigmas about the act). Essentially, this is a place to see what others are going through and have the chance to empathize or relate, or. Possibly even as its own way to live vicariously--or, die vicariously in this case.
At its worst, callous looky-loos get to scroll through posts, judge people, and then go. I think a lot of us live in shades of that (at least i do because i'm rude).
thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

 

[Shamana]

"First, this platform is mostly composed of people who think they want to die but are truly just searching for emotional support"

I couldn't agree more. It can be very frustrating if you're serious about suicide.

I think most of the members most determined on suicide are most likely already dead. It's makes sense doesn't it?

 

[trynacbt]

I think most of the members most determined on suicide are most likely already dead. It's makes sense doesn't it?

Or waiting/planning for the right moment...

 

[Jean4]

This board is a pro-choice board for suicide. It is not and will never be a board whose primary purpose is to tell you how to kill oneself. THAT WOULD BE ILLEGAL AND WOULD GET US SHUT DOWN.

Consequently, people come here for emotional support, people come here who lost people in their lives to suicide and want to learn more, those who come here just to be in a safe place, or to be with like-minded people.

No difference than people joining an abortion board. A man can join that board and I don't think they will ever actually have an abortion (I hope not anyway.)

If people want a board strictly for learning how to kill themselves there are plenty on the dark web. Personally, as a person who just had a failed attempt, I find them a little morbid. I am suicidal. I just had a failed attempt. I will try again.

Why do I like this board? Because I like seeing people asking for emotional support. I like being able to care about another human being. It is new for me never having friends or family. It makes me feel 'normal' for a second. Not being alone, and being able to help another in their time of need.

I want to interact with others... and this board is helping me do that for the first time in my 51 years.

Will I kill myself? Yes, I will. When? I do not know or have a date. In the meantime, I am here. I can learn about ways of killing myself so I won't fail again, and in the meantime, I can associate with people who are like-minded.... some who are in more pain than me, and it doesn't make me feel all alone.

In my final time on this earth, I want to be known more than the girl on a message board only talking about suicide. I do not want to be known for my suicide. I want people to remember me as a person who had other interests and cared about others. Maybe. Just maybe, if I had that kind of respect and had others care and just say hello to me during my lifetime, I wouldn't want to kill myself.

By the way. And no offense meant. Slamming a place before they leave is rather childish. That happens in Facebook groups all the time. You must announce you leave prior to leaving which I could never understand. If you don't like a place, just leave. Why would one have to cause drama prior?

As far as more people respond a goodbye post than others and how that is troublesome is problematic.

I have no friends or family. I have nobody in my life who will care if I live or die. I have nobody in my life who will even know that I am dead. I will have nobody in my life who will care or miss me. I will die alone. My life would have had no purpose and I will not be remembered.

If one does not know the importance of saying goodbye to somebody, means one has never experienced crushing depression and loneliness. Part of the reason why I am killing myself.

There is nothing MORE important than saying goodbye to somebody. It shows the person in the final moments that they mattered. They are not alone. Somebody cares during the most important part of their life.... when they chose to end it.

There is nothing scarier knowing that nobody will give a damn if you were on this earth, you won't know that you are dead. Nothing more depressing. At least these people can go out knowing they had somebody who cared.... even if it is a faceless face on a message board.

 

[Shamana]

Or waiting/planning for the right moment...

When people spend years and years as members here, I don't believe they want to die. Many many people here have comitted suicide. it's logical that what's left are people with suicide ideation, but who are not 100% comitted to kill themselves which i think is just fine. Killing yourself is not some beautiful act.

 

[Haku]

I like to write a lot of words of comfort to those that will ctb, it may seem sometimes that I might not be serious because of the posts I write, but there is no doubt in my mind that I will ctb. And I know I am late, but I wish you nothing but peace Relief and that you have a painless departure when you ctb

 

[Jean4]

When people spend years and years as members here, I don't believe they want to die. Many many people here have comitted suicide. it's logical that what's left are people with suicide ideation, but who are not 100% comitted to kill themselves which i think is just fine. Killing yourself is not some beautiful act.

And nothing to take lightly or spur of the moment. It is fine to want to live. It is fine to wait for the right moment. I recently had a failed attempt. I am suicidal ever second of my life. Will I try again. Yes? Is it today? No. So I do want to die. Just not at this moment.... and that's OK. It will happen for me and for everybody else when it is the right time. That time may never come for some, and that is fine also :)

I like to write a lot of words of comfort to those that will ctb, it may seem sometimes that I might not be serious because of the posts I write, but there is no doubt in my mind that I will ctb. And I know I am late, but I wish you nothing but peace Relief and that you have a painless departure when you ctb

Haku, your words mean so much. Maybe if you were in my life earlier and gave me those encouraging words, I wouldn't want to CTB.

 

[Haku]

And nothing to take lightly or spur of the moment. It is fine to want to live. It is fine to wait for the right moment. I recently had a failed attempt. I am suicidal ever second of my life. Will I try again. Yes? Is it today? No. So I do want to die. Just not at this moment.... and that's OK. It will happen for me and for everybody else when it is the right time. That time may never come for some, and that is fine also :)

Haku, your words mean so much. Maybe if you were in my life earlier and gave me those encouraging words, I wouldn't want to CTB.

Thank you, I would have liked for you and everyone else to have had happy lives so that we wouldn't have needed to ctb, but unfortunately we were dealt a bad hand that forced us to end up in this situation, so all I want to do is make people feel a bit better for when it comes time for their departure out of their hell.

 

[Astral316]

I mean, what were you expecting? A static archive because all the members had already killed themselves? You can't have a high activity forum and a high rate of ctb. This place strikes the perfect balance, imho.

 

[Jean4]

I don't want to die! I did and I don't now. But I've every right to be on here and offer help and support as a pro choice person.

Yes, Rachel. You have every right to be here, and it is alright to want to live. Hopefully, this board will help you remain in that frame of mind. I am coming off of a failed attempt. At this moment, I want to live. It may change, but that is where I am right now too. This board is giving me a reason to do so.

 

[Rachel74]

Yes, Rachel. You have every right to be here, and it is alright to want to live. Hopefully, this board will help you remain in that frame of mind. I am coming off of a failed attempt. At this moment, I want to live. It may change, but that is where I am right now too. This board is giving me a reason to do so.

I've actually helped a few people on here and it's helped me and given me purpose.

 

[Roger]

I've actually helped a few people on here . . . . .

To do what ?

 

[BPD_LE]

By the way. And no offense needed. Slamming a place before they leave is rather childish.

Agreed.
Personally, I won't be taking advice from someone who has been on the board for 6 days, and feels they have the right to judge it's members through a grandiose display of narcissism.

 

[Rachel74]

To do what ?

To sometimes not CTB suddenly and research it. Helped them source SN and meto.
Just been there to talk things through. Lot of people impulse suicide and don't research it.

 

[sleepy dog]

Yea, just think saying "turn to your family and friends" shows immaturity about the subject of suicide in the real world. Many people have done that and then gone to a psych facility and then forced drugging. Some might have actually been committed. Many of us have learned a lesson about that the hard way.

 

[Boonks]

Bye Felicia

 

[Return2Dust]

Bye...
I came here after a failed attempt (multiple failed attempts) and learned a new way to ctb. I ordered all my supplies according to resources I found. This time, my death won't be a spur-of- the-moment failure.

 

[DeathImminent]

See you on the other side fella

 

[Rachel74]

This type of sentiment – whether serious or in jest – is what draws undesirable critical attention to this website.

Not at all.
I send people to the right supplier so they don't get scammed. It's not done on an open forum but in private message on here. I might look stupid but I'm not. Remember not everyone on here who is desperate to CTB as the money or the means to do it hence why this forum was created.

 

[Jean4]

To do what ?

Maybe just to be there. Sometimes that is the only thing that is needed.
I would like to add one more thought if I may.

This individual judged people on this forum. Those here did not fit into the mold of which Relief thought they should. Relief felt people should behave and feel a certain way, and if they did not, they should not be here.

I hate to tell Relief. The majority of people here (I think) did not fit into the way society said they should be and act. That is one of the reasons we want to CTB. So to judge people on a board like this, is to act exactly like those who put us here.