Goodbye

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Hi there,

I never thought that I'd post a goodbye thread, because I felt so deeply that people didn't care about me.

Despite my bad social anxiety that kept me in the shadows of this site, whenever I did emerge people were nothing but warm here.

Today is my last day. Around 3 AM, when the house is quiet, I will put on my exit bag and leave this world forever.

My name is Layla. I am 25 years old. I have autism and bipolar disorder. I have never felt like I belong in this world. Without going into too much detail, my dreams have been broken by my ineptitudes. Socially, I am estranged. I feel like I'm behind a window, watching society function, while people just point and stare at my exhibit. I've been hurt by people so many times, neglected, and tossed aside. Tonight, I will fade out of consciousness and die from asphyxiation, leaving behind a painful world defined by how well you run the rat race.

I love you guys,

I'll fade away like smoke in the breeze

Farewell.

 

[monetpompo]

goodbye friend. i hope you feel less sad than you do now. no one deserves to be in constant pain or like they don't matter

 

[idiotmother]

This world is so cruel, I am sorry for your suffering. I hope you find peace. Great job setting up an exit bag, it looks so complicated, I hope it goes smoothly for you.

 

[melonpan]

All I can say is, I wish the journey there is plain sailing and painless, and you find the end you're looking for

 

[wereqryan]

This world is so cruel, I am sorry for your suffering. I hope you find peace. Great job setting up an exit bag, it looks so complicated, I hope it goes smoothly for you.

 

[Dante_]

Im going to miss you so much...I can't say much else . Thank you for being my friend...been so awesome being around you and talking whenever we did.

 

[darksouls]

I wish you peace

 

[Pale_Rider]

I am the same as you except I have been beaten as if I was a circus act. I have no family, friends, or otherwise. I have come to view humanity with destain, and contempt at times. I see you @SomewhereAlongThe , and I feel you. Peace be with you.

 

[kitkat9234]

Wishing you peace.

 

[Irisse]

I hope it goes as peacefully and painlessly as possible.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

It was nice to meet you here Layla, thank you for sharing a bit of your story with us. I will miss seeing you around and wish you well on your journey away from the pain of this world. We are losing a kind soul indeed. Safe travels friend, sending love on the way with you.

 

[arcticmonkey]

I hope whatever is on the other side is more gentle with you that this world have been

 

[getoutgirl]

As I already told u, whatever happens tonight, I'm here for u, and as you can see, a lot of people are here for u also, and do care a lot about you and wish you peace.
You had a huge impact on me and on others here too, a positive one. During your time here on this world, know you did do that.
So I hope knowing that makes today easy, you deserve that and a lot more. You are an incredible soul and I'll forever remember you <3

 

[no mas]

You have a very beautiful name, and I'm almost certain you're far more beautiful inside. Hope that you find what you so deserved where your soul takes you next. By earth standards you should be 25 and Alive, no one or group should be hurting you to the point of no return. Its such a Tragedy the Rat Race Disgrace and the cold hearted greed it breeds. ~Forever Love

 

[einsam]

I'm sorry life brought you to this.

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry life brought you to this point. Wish you well in whatever is next for you!

 

[Lampost505!]

Sleep well, you at least deserve that.

 

[iamanavalanche]

will miss you so much, layla. you have always been so kind and sweet towards me and i have never forgotten how nice your presence is. i will miss you endlessly and theres no words to describe how glad i am to have met you in this life. though i wish you had a life that gave you the happiness you deserved. love you so much and i hope you find peace

 

[nullsoul]

귀하의 선택을 지원합니다. 그리고 당신의 용기가 부럽습니다.
이제 평안하세요

 

[Firefly.Forest]

Layla, I wish you peace - I did not know you, but enjoyed reading your posts.

I hope your suffering is soon over - Hugs

 

[Kurwenal]

I am sorry for the suffering that brought you to this point, Layla. I hope only peace, rest and freedom come to you, in whatever form you personally want them to appear.

 

[Cosmophobic]

ngl I hate these threads. I always sit there thinking there must be some combination of words that could give the poster a reason to not do it. Call it selfish, super-ego BS if you want but I'll never be ready to just wish people goodbye in these threads.

OP I don't know you but you seem sincerely nice. Have you tried making friends on the friend making thread? You say you have just one discord friend that you're not fond of. That sucks. I'm betting there's plenty of other people that would love to be your friend judging by the replies here alone.

Normally I'd say look out for your safety when making online friends, and heck that still applies, but what do you have to lose given your current state of mind and plans? I'd still say look for some female friends just to be on the safe side.

Anyway, there's no shame in backing out. Just remember that.

 

[flutebloom]

Good luck, Layla it's been lovely seeing you in chat when we are both online… I know we haven't spoken a lot but you are a very lovely person and I'm sad to see you go.

I sincerely hope you find peace. I'm thinking about you. Lots of love. Sending you off with a big hug.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I'm really sorry the world has failed you so badly. Thank you for opening up about your suffering that brought you to this point. I wish you the best

 

[itsgone2]

ngl I hate these threads. I always sit there thinking there must be some combination of words that could give the poster a reason to not do it. Call it selfish, super-ego BS if you want but I'll never be ready to just wish people goodbye in these threads.

I agree with you. Read her posts: clearly an intelligent and beautiful soul. Certainly far more so than me. To lose someone so young, even if it is their wishes, seems wrong.
I wish you peace Layla. I wish we all had peace in this life.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Farewell and rest in peace.

 

[Cosmophobic]

Read her posts: clearly an intelligent and beautiful soul.

I did and I agree. It's hard to know what to say. Look at me up there talking about the fucking make a friend thread like an idiot. Grasping at straws.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I did and I agree. It's hard to know what to say. Look at me up there talking about the fucking make a friend thread like an idiot. Grasping at straws.

You are wonderful for expressing yourself in a straightforward fashion like you did, the truth is you recognize I need a friend. Maybe if I had a friend, I wouldn't have gotten to this point. You're hitting the nail on the head, not grasping at straws. Really, goodbye threads do suck because who wants it to be like this? The truth is I want to experience life, real life, but the type of life you get here is mind numbing as you try your best to stay in your lane as you race towards something bright and shiny. It's the competition that kills me and the innate abilities that we are bestowed with while others are left with disability. I honestly appreciate you the most, because you want me to stride forth into better lighting but it feels impossible for me, I'm sorry. I feel like that disabled kid on the playground that nobody wants to bother with, at the end of the day when no one's looking. I thank you for being there to give me fresh perspective, and I'm telling you, if hope was my friend, I would of embraced your advice with a warm hug. There's not a thread of hope left in me to even stitch these wounds together. I see you, I acknowledge and appreciate you.

 

[shironeko]

Good night.

 

[Slark]

I was recently diagnosed with autism, and I feel the same way you described. It feels like I can't fit in anywhere, in any group, and that I'm watching everything from the outside. I'm sorry things have gotten to this point for you, and I hope you can find comfort, happiness, and peace.