Goodbye

[Mary Janex]

I don't know what to say. I just can't do it all anymore, and have therefore decided to take my bus today. I'm so sad because I wish it didn't have to end like this. I wish my life had been different, but I've ruined everything for myself. I fucked up my brain because I was dumb enough to think I could tolerate almost every drug on this planet, and this is my consequence now. Also, I'm a bad person and a burden to everyone. Everyone is better off without me, so it's better that I finally kill myself.

I'll be on a 50-meter-high roof tonight and take SN there. If something goes wrong, I'll jump immediately. I'm scared, but I think I can do it. I won't be able to update this post, but if you don't hear from me in the next few days, I've done it. I hope that wherever I go, I will never suffer from depersonalization or anything else again.
I hope you all find peace, however you choose. Every person I met here has been great. I wish you could all make it out of this situation. I wish I could too, but maybe some people are just meant to die.
I'm glad I got to be a part of this community. Thank you.

See you all on the other side. Until then, farewell.

 

[openBottomJeans]

I'm not a religious person, but when I told my best friend my plan to ctb, she left me this verse to read the next morning. Hopefully it brings you a little comfort.

Feeling scared, terrified, is absolutely normal. We just have to push through. Be safe, friend

 

[avalokitesvara]

Take good care I'm sorry it's come to this for you.

 

[darksouls]

es tut mir sehr leid dass das leben dich an diesen punkt gebracht hat
ich verstehe dein seelisches leid und deine schmerzen
du bist ein liebenswerter mensch
und du verdienst die ruhe die du dir wünscht
in gedanken werde ich bei dir sein
möge dein übergang sanft verlaufen
von ganzem herzen wünsche ich dir das beste
ich hoffe dass deine seele freiheit und ewigen frieden findet

 

[:)0=]

Hello!

You don't know me, but I know you. I know you because I saw you in the list of active users from morning to evening almost every day (and maybe every day). This is stupid reason, but I liked you for that. Because I did the same. Also I liked you for your profile pictures and posts with which I could relate. Of course, I didn't tell you about this. But I tell you now. I don't know why...

 

[Ligottian]

If there is "another side" we better hope hope it's better than this side.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace. Good luck

 

[The Morningstar]

I saw this poem earlier this month and saved it for you. I was waiting for you to write back after our last conversation. It's about dissociation. I was hoping it would give you something — some feeling of camaraderie or understanding that you aren't alone. Or that it would be a new talking point we could go over.

And I told you before: you are NOT a burden. And no one—not a single soul—is better off without you.

Anyway, here's the poem:

There's no "sass" in "dissociation."

by Douglas Kearney

three feet behind my grin I speak
so seems my teeth is down for it
but it's a make-do I do.
I DM P. L. Dunbar on some
whatchu mean "we?" no—
really, though. the rough metric
opening this a lie to make
done the otherwise I say I is.
yet, the we I been subtweets
me—"whatchu mean 'I?'"—
answer's off my tongue, so:
authentic, no? where "fine," "OK,"
"yes" get forged? I split my difference
between here and gone,
a distance of hard words
hissed; presence of the harms'
numb climb: I'm fine, I'm fine.

If you aren't gone, I'd like to keep talking to you.

But if you are gone, I'll miss you. And I know I'll remember you until the last light goes out in the universe and then some; both you and Unrecognizable7.

 

[Alexandra0]

Goodbye! Thanks for the wishes! Hope you find peace

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I hope you find peace on the other side. You are also a great person in this community! I just hope you feel valued at least at the last moment

 

[33K1LLM3]

Hopefully it has worked out for you, I'm happy you found your peace <3

 

[Jona]

I wish you all the best, hope you find your peace Goodbye