I really appreciate this site, and hope that it keeps up the good fight. Because this has been more helpful for me than talking to anyone else who doesn't understand where I'm at. I'm pulling the trigger tomorrow evening. I'm ready. I'm tired. I still have some sadness in my heart, but I can leave this life knowing that I gave it my all. I did the best I could. After years of long inflection, it's time for me to go. I'm thinking a lot about what is going to happen over the next 48 hours. A lot of my curiosity will be answered when I pull the trigger. I'm very confident in my method, and I'm ready for departure from this life. I've fought for 43 years. I'm tired. I don't want to spend the rest of my life scrapping for money, competing for love, and declining in health. I don't want that for myself.
I won't be remembered by anyone, and that's fine with me. I just want to successfully transition as painlessly as possible. I just can't do this life anymore. I was never welcomed in this life. My parents didn't love me, nor anyone else in my family. Sure, there's strength in overcoming. However, no one should have to overcome their family. Life shouldn't be a series of needless, pointless tests. The creator of this is a sick coward if that is the point of life. I don't know. I'm just rambling. But I will say that I really appreciate those who did reach out to me. I found a lot of comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one who sees this life as I do. Please understand that, while I can probably overcome my obstacles, I'm tired. I can't fight anymore. I don't have another punch left in me. I want out of this life. I don't care if I never exist again. If my existence had to be like this, then I would rather have not existed in the first place. After all of the abuse, rejection, humiliation, and bad decisions, I'm done.
I don't know what the future holds for this world, but my future isn't getting better. Therefore, I've chosen to depart. I don't know who or what will be affected by my leaving, but I'm glad that the numbers will be few. I'm calm, yet sad. However, I still have a song of joy in my heart and that's what will get me through this. I hope everyone who's seriously going through with their plan to ctb is not doing so without having done truthful and honest inflection and reflection on their lives. While this isn't a last resort, it IS final. I hope everyone here gets out of this site what they are looking for. My journey is at an end. This road is turning off and I'm going into the highway of the cosmos. I'm about to make "The Great Adventure."
Peace and Love to All!!!
Goodbye
**Mods: Please cross out my name after 24 hours. Thanks**
