Goodbye with N

[Risperdead]

I am leaving tonight. My method is N from D.
I'm relaxing in my hotel room bed.
I take no antiemetics.
I will soon drink my 200ml of liquid N

I am feeling confident with my decision, no SI yet.

If you don't hear from me again presume I've succeeded

Won't be replying to comments so I can spend my last moments off my phone.
I am so grateful to SS and all the wonderful members I have spoken to on here, I hope you all find the peace you are searching for.

Goodbye and thank you everyone

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that you find peace and relief from suffering in whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[_Minsk]

I wish you all the best and hope you find peace

 

[Dead Meat]

Sorry to see you go @Risperdead I wish you the very best for a comfortable and pleasant journey and may you have Neverending peace and tranquility

 

[jdblaze]

I wish you the very best

 

[MatthewV3]

Goodbye.

 

[luke_skywalker]

May you have found peace

 

[Risperdead]

failed because i underestimated the ethanol taste. I was not able to chug it down, vomited.
very thanks for your messages.
most likely this is not the last attempt for me.

 

[Ta555]

failed because i underestimated the ethanol taste. I was not able to chug it down, vomited.
very thanks for your messages.
most likely this is not the last attempt for me.

Sorry to hear that.
It's interesting that some goodbye threads say that N taste is not as bad as they say and others end up having to abort because of the taste...

 

[The nerd]

I am leaving tonight. My method is N from D.
I'm relaxing in my hotel room bed.
I take no antiemetics.
I will soon drink my 200ml of liquid N

I am feeling confident with my decision, no SI yet.

If you don't hear from me again presume I've succeeded

Won't be replying to comments so I can spend my last moments off my phone.
I am so grateful to SS and all the wonderful members I have spoken to on here, I hope you all find the peace you are searching for.

Goodbye and thank you everyone

So sorry it came to this. I hope you find peace. And if you see this post please make sure long and hard that this is the path you want to go. You will be missed by loved ones, there may be another way. If you need emotion help we're here for you. This is a permanent solution to a possible temporary problem.

 

[hankbank3928]

failed because i underestimated the ethanol taste. I was not able to chug it down, vomited.
very thanks for your messages.
most likely this is not the last attempt for me.

You vomited because of the taste or because it sat in your stomach?

 

[btrtrb]

failed because i underestimated the ethanol taste. I was not able to chug it down, vomited.
very thanks for your messages.
most likely this is not the last attempt for me.

:( hope you are ok man. will you need to reorder or do you still have enough?
Grüsse

 

[Risperdead]

You vomited because of the taste or because it sat in your stomach?

taste and feeling, sir. vomited while drinking

 

[hankbank3928]

taste and feeling, sir. vomited while drinking

Wow that's terrible, did you try to plug your nose while drinking? Are you going to attempt again?

Hope your feeling better.

 

[The nerd]

taste and feeling, sir. vomited while drinking

Thank of this as a sign that there's hope. Don't give up on life. maybe talking about it will help, it helped me.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

It's interesting that some goodbye threads say that N taste is not as bad as they say and others end up having to abort because of the taste...

This is one of my fears. While I would prefer to go out with N rather than SN, everyone has different tastebuds and I'd hate to spend the money on N and then not be able to get it down. At least if I throw up the SN, I didn't cost me much to buy it.

 

[Risperdead]

This is one of my fears. While I would prefer to go out with N rather than SN, everyone has different tastebuds and I'd hate to spend the money on N and then not be able to get it down. At least if I throw up the SN, I didn't cost me much to buy it.

made two mistakes. ate nothing the whole day, no night meal two hours before drinking N as recommended. and i should have mixed the N with honey, covering mouth before drinking , too.

@hankbank3928
not plugged the nose, for me this wouldnt help for sure if vomiting reflex come up.
most likely i attempt again soon

@The nerd
I like how you see things in a positive way.
the damage i took from antipsychotics, i had to consume against my will, is just too severe.
I am not part of life anyway, like frozen from within and many more. every usual grandpas life more interesting and enjoyable then mine.

 

[Ta555]

made two mistakes. ate nothing the whole day, no night meal two hours before drinking N as recommended. and i should have mixed the N with honey, covering mouth before drinking , too.

@hankbank3928
not plugged the nose, for me this wouldnt help for sure if vomiting reflex come up.
most likely i attempt again soon

@The nerd
I like how you see things in a positive way.
the damage i took from antipsychotics, i had to consume against my will, is just too severe.
I am not part of life anyway, like frozen from within and many more. every usual grandpas life more interesting and enjoyable then mine.

Could you describe the taste? Was it bitter? Alcoholic? etc. Would really helpful. Thank you.

This is one of my fears. While I would prefer to go out with N rather than SN, everyone has different tastebuds and I'd hate to spend the money on N and then not be able to get it down. At least if I throw up the SN, I didn't cost me much to buy it.

To be fair though, not being able to get it down has been the exception on this forum not the rule. Many more people have managed to ctb with it than not so take that as a hopeful sign.

 

[natali4]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that feeling of badly wanting to ctb and then failing. Whether you decide to attempt again or not, I hope you find peace.

 

[watchingthewheels]

made two mistakes. ate nothing the whole day, no night meal two hours before drinking N as recommended. and i should have mixed the N with honey, covering mouth before drinking , too.

Well, no, you don't mix the honey in the N directly, if that's what you meant, so that wasn't a mistake not doing that.

 

[long4rest]

First off sorry that this happened. I hope whatever direction you choose next is good for you. Maybe things will look up to the point you no longer feel the need to CTB. Sending good karma to you, either way.

Secondly, thank you for sharing, it is most helpful for others to see your experience and learn from it. I recently got my N, and it came with AE. I wasn't thinking I would need it, but am going to research extensively and probably use it to insure it works. Why take a chance. Like you, I would be crushed if it fails.

Third: You also wisely reached out here when it didn't work, I cannot think of a better support group than the folks here. Keep doing so, they will get you through, no matter which path you decide. May you find peace.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry things didn't go as you planned. Selfishly still happy you are here. I don't really have any advice on how to take N. I just wish you the best.

 

[uglylonely]

Goodbye. You're so brave. What does N "From D" mean?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Goodbye. You're so brave. What does N "From D" mean?

N is a method of ctb. D is a person to get it from. Seeing you have just arrived and have only 1 post, my advice would be to read some threads, do some posting, get you post count up, at which time you will get some additional features from this website, such as a search box function, and then you'll be able to more thoroughly investigate the real name of "N" and find your way to more info about "D". While you're doing that, you can, also, I think, download the PPH from the sticky in these forums. Did you read the rules, yet? If not, do that. There's a lot of info there about how you should "say" some things in your posts, ie "N" and "D" and others. Only by taking the time and doing some reading will you become familiar with the acronyms in use here. Oh, BTW, welcome to SS.

BTW, Risperdead, the OP in this thread, was not successful in his attempt at ctb.

 

[hankbank3928]

made two mistakes. ate nothing the whole day, no night meal two hours before drinking N as recommended. and i should have mixed the N with honey, covering mouth before drinking , too.

@hankbank3928
not plugged the nose, for me this wouldnt help for sure if vomiting reflex come up.
most likely i attempt again soon

@The nerd
I like how you see things in a positive way.
the damage i took from antipsychotics, i had to consume against my will, is just too severe.
I am not part of life anyway, like frozen from within and many more. every usual grandpas life more interesting and enjoyable then mine.

Thank you for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it!

 

[greyhound]

Brave soul, you were on the precipice. I was in a similar position last night. Still sort of am.

That was my worry with N. I tend to get nauseous when stressed anyway. I got rid of it in a fit of madness anyway so it's not a problem I continue to face.

I think injections are ideal, intramusular. Once it's in it's in.

 

[uglylonely]

N is a method of ctb. D is a person to get it from. Seeing you have just arrived and have only 1 post, my advice would be to read some threads, do some posting, get you post count up, at which time you will get some additional features from this website, such as a search box function, and then you'll be able to more thoroughly investigate the real name of "N" and find your way to more info about "D". While you're doing that, you can, also, I think, download the PPH from the sticky in these forums. Did you read the rules, yet? If not, do that. There's a lot of info there about how you should "say" some things in your posts, ie "N" and "D" and others. Only by taking the time and doing some reading will you become familiar with the acronyms in use here. Oh, BTW, welcome to SS.

BTW, Risperdead, the OP in this thread, was not successful in his attempt at ctb.

I know what N stands for and about the PPH, I quoted the "from D" part because i cant find who D is in the pph

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I know what N stands for and about the PPH, I quoted the "from D" part because i cant find who D is in the pph

D used to be B -- B is in the PPeH

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I know what N stands for and about the PPH, I quoted the "from D" part because i cant find who D is in the pph

Well, I'll tell you what, after reading the thread I just did from a newcomer (like you) regarding the DEA supposedly confiscating the N the person just received, I'm not going to be the one to tell you anything about anything. Sorry if you are actually a legit person on SS, but it just isn't going to happen.

D used to be B -- B is in the PPeH

No, that's not right. B was a scammer.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

No, that's not right. B was a scammer.

PPH Nov specifically says "Source B (previously known as D). I simply had it backwards -- B is current reference in PPH and used to be D and is still referred to as D here.