Goodbye Thread

[r1007]

I'll take SN in a couple of hours. I don't feel like listing the steps I'm going to follow before taking SN.

I've been on this site for a short time and haven't posted much.

I honestly don't agree with this site's philosophy that suicide should be made easier and normalized. It's too complicated an issue, it's not enough to just say that everyone is free to do what they want. Life is more complex than your simple free will.

I want to commit suicide because I have no alternatives, but for this reason I don't feel like I have to blame those who want to avoid suicides and those who declare themselves pro-life.

I know very well that many of them do it to feel better rather than for the good of those who truly suffer, but I don't feel like judging them. Suicide does not have to be a free choice. The human mind is fragile. A decision as drastic as suicide I don't understand why you want to normalize it, as if everyone were capable of understanding the big picture of the consequences of their suicide.

I feel guilty. Because I will make my Father, my mother and my brother suffer. I will make the girl who is in love with me suffer. I will make my best friend suffer. I will make my uncle, with whom I have a good relationship, suffer. There is some truth when they say that suicide is selfish. There is some truth, but only a little, I don't totally agree with this. Suicide is not just selfishness. And many other things.

Other than that, I wish you good luck. I hope you are happy. I hope you can be happy alive and not dead. In any case I don't blame you. A hug. I'll try to keep you updated.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Wish you the very best OP, I'm really sorry got to this point and it's understandable why you wouldn't want to outline the steps of your regimen.

 

[4everDone]

I don't mean to sound disrespectful but allow me to ask what are your reason for committing suicide exactly? On the other hand if in your subjective reality there is something that obstructs you from doing it, it doesn't mean that the universal right these people are fighting for should be disregarded. What you describe is what seems like guilt that you experience for feeling the way you do and even more since you consider suicide. If there are people who will be impacted with your decision you can always write a note for them where you express your feelings and conclusions that led you to this decision. Who is truly suffering and who is not is outside of our capabilities to truly know. All we can rely on is if the message is trying to get out which is - the end of suffering, regardless of how subjective it might be.

 

[rozeske]

Am sorry, I am baffled as i honestly don't know how to/ if I even should respond to all the obviously misguided and uncalled for claims you mentioned. Anyways I do wish you all the best. Hope you find your peace.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

A decision as drastic as suicide I don't understand why you want to normalize it, as if everyone were capable of understanding the big picture of the consequences of their suicide.

I think a lot of people here do understand the consequences of it hence why some don't even go through with it because of who they'll hurt or what they fear the aftermath will cause whereas others write a not to express their reasons so its easier for those left behind. I have to disagree with a few things you've but this is a goodbye thread after all.

 

[Enigma the orange]

I'll take SN in a couple of hours. I don't feel like listing the steps I'm going to follow before taking SN.

I've been on this site for a short time and haven't posted much.

I honestly don't agree with this site's philosophy that suicide should be made easier and normalized. It's too complicated an issue, it's not enough to just say that everyone is free to do what they want. Life is more complex than your simple free will.

I want to commit suicide because I have no alternatives, but for this reason I don't feel like I have to blame those who want to avoid suicides and those who declare themselves pro-life.

I know very well that many of them do it to feel better rather than for the good of those who truly suffer, but I don't feel like judging them. Suicide does not have to be a free choice. The human mind is fragile. A decision as drastic as suicide I don't understand why you want to normalize it, as if everyone were capable of understanding the big picture of the consequences of their suicide.

I feel guilty. Because I will make my Father, my mother and my brother suffer. I will make the girl who is in love with me suffer. I will make my best friend suffer. I will make my uncle, with whom I have a good relationship, suffer. There is some truth when they say that suicide is selfish. There is some truth, but only a little, I don't totally agree with this. Suicide is not just selfishness. And many other things.

Other than that, I wish you good luck. I hope you are happy. I hope you can be happy alive and not dead. In any case I don't blame you. A hug. I'll try to keep you updated.

may you find some peace, I wish you the best.

 

[loserr]

alright man, goodbye then. hope you have a good end

 

[vak]

I respect your opinion and wish you a peaceful journey

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

May you find peace with the descision you want to make as it is drastic indeed and not to be taken lightly.

 

[Finalnight]

Wishing the best for you @r1007
May you find peace ♥♥

 

[divinemistress36]

Peace on your journey <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck with your plan! May you find peace! Safe travels!

 

[r1007]

I don't mean to sound disrespectful but allow me to ask what are your reason for committing suicide exactly? On the other hand if in your subjective reality there is something that obstructs you from doing it, it doesn't mean that the universal right these people are fighting for should be disregarded. What you describe is what seems like guilt that you experience for feeling the way you do and even more since you consider suicide. If there are people who will be impacted with your decision you can always write a note for them where you express your feelings and conclusions that led you to this decision. Who is truly suffering and who is not is outside of our capabilities to truly know. All we can rely on is if the message is trying to get out which is - the end of suffering, regardless of how subjective it might be.

Don't worry. There are many reasons why I want to commit suicide. It all starts from the fact that I am an introvert by nature. It's just the assumption. Until I was 5/6 years old I lived in my native country. Afterwards I moved with my family abroad. Culture shock hurt me more than I thought, and I realized it many years later. I was an introverted but still very lively boy. Everyone liked me because I did stupid things as a child but I knew how to stop when adults told me to stop. It was a rare thing. They said I was very intelligent for my age, I was practically seen as a child prodigy: cute, kind and I always understood everything. Everything has changed since I moved to Europe. I felt out of place. I've lost my points of reference. My parents were not prepared to educate me in the new society. They were accustomed to the customs and education of my native country. They taught me what they could. But what they could were very limited. I felt out of place in everything. I felt ashamed of myself for my origins. When someone treats you as if you were strange from a young age, you really start to believe that you are strange. That's what happened with me. I thought I was weird. I didn't talk to anyone. I made few friends. I closed myself off. I put myself in the perfect position to get depressed.

A few years ago I came unstuck. As I matured with age, I realized that I had to educate myself from scratch in everything. This may sound crazy, but I realized that I didn't know how to dress well, so I started dressing well. I changed my eating routine. I started sleeping regularly. A series of habits that I wanted to change to see if it changed something in me. It worked. And from there I realized that maybe there was no reason to be so mean and discouraged with myself. I had had a little proof that there was nothing wrong with me. I settled in. I have always been very romantic, I have always had the desire to fall in love. Since I unblocked myself, I have had no problems relating to the opposite sex, I have always got along well. I got engaged to a girl I met online. We spoke for 3 years. We loved each other very much. Things didn't go well then, I don't want to explain why, but we are on good terms. I then got engaged to a girl who lives in Rome, it was a child's love, in every sense. I found her on Instagram, we spoke, half an hour later I called her. We were on the call all night together (until 5am). She then asks me to take the train immediately and come to her. She wanted to see me. Without sleeping, I took a shower and bought the ticket. I went to Rome and we spent the day together and got engaged. It was the best day of my life. All perfect. She is lost in love. Me too, she was beautiful and very kind. But things didn't go well after that. I don't want to tell you everything in detail, but this last relationship killed me a little inside. Furthermore, in recent years my brother has started having mental health problems out of nowhere. Schizophrenia out of nowhere. I literally spent 2 years of my life with him unstable, with the fear that at any moment he would lock himself in the bathroom and cut his wrists. Because he did it several times. In addition to sentimental problems, I had to look after my brother in every way. My parents can't speak Italian well. I had to take care of and broker everything myself. A 17-year-old boy cannot do all these delicate and psychologically pressing things on his own. But I had no choice. On the one hand, I was emotionally broken. On the other side I had a brother who went crazy overnight for no reason. I didn't know what to do anymore. I stopped going out with friends. I stopped getting engaged, I don't want to anymore. One thing leads to another. The fragility that I had throughout my childhood and adolescence has come back to the surface. I gritted my teeth for years. I didn't want to leave my parents alone. I have a sister who lives in New York, and she has two daughters. I'm sorry to leave all these people alone. But I've gotten to the point where waking up in the morning is a nightmare. I have a hard time getting out of bed. I'm in my total breakdown moment. I never thought about whether living was good or bad, I never asked myself or asked these existential questions. I want to kill me because I'm in too much pain. I don't want to commit suicide because life has no meaning, because God doesn't exist, because I'm an atheist or because I'm an incel or in protest. I don't want to convince anyone that suicide is the way, because I don't know. I don't have an answer. I just want to die now because I'm sick.

 

[r1007]

Wish you the very best OP, I'm really sorry got to this point and it's understandable why you wouldn't want to outline the steps of your regimen.

Thanks! Best of luck even for u. Take care of yourself.

Am sorry, I am baffled as i honestly don't know how to/ if I even should respond to all the obviously misguided and uncalled for claims you mentioned. Anyways I do wish you all the best. Hope you find your peace.

Oh you don't have to. It's ok to don't agree with me.

alright man, goodbye then. hope you have a good end

Thank you! <3

I respect your opinion and wish you a peaceful journey

Thank you. Hope you find some good moments in your life. I really hope so. <3

 

[Quantum Particle]

All the very best to you and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do. Please may I ask why you feel you have no other alternatives

 

[r1007]

All the very best to you and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do. Please may I ask why you feel you have no other alternatives

I did but the moderator have to approve the message, I don't know for whatever reason.

 

[Adûnâi]

I did but the moderator have to approve the message, I don't know for whatever reason.

Yikes, that's really stupid of the forum. Maybe it's a soulless, automated machine triggered by some naughty word?

You seem high-IQ, eve in your farewell message you're voicing your opinion and trying to ponder the complexity of these futile questions.

I wish you all the best!

I'm in my total breakdown moment. I never thought about whether living was good or bad, I never asked myself or asked these existential questions. I want to kill me because I'm in too much pain. I don't want to commit suicide because life has no meaning, because God doesn't exist, because I'm an atheist or because I'm an incel or in protest. I don't want to convince anyone that suicide is the way, because I don't know. I don't have an answer. I just want to die now because I'm sick.

Ah, this clears things up a bit. If I were to say anything constructive, I'd say that you had improved yourself once in the past, highly successfully so, so why not another? It proved to work.

 

[Quantum Particle]

I don't know if you are still with us and I don't want to sound pro life at all but you have done an amazing job at such a young age. With education, the help of your brother and also fitting in and adapting a new life and culture. You will do what you have to do and that is always your right and your choice but I would say you've done good buddy. Peace bro

 

[Dliena]

Wishing you eternal peace from this sphere. Bidding goodbye.