goodbye thread.

[jacrispy]

hey everyone,
I'm the guy behind the rebreather thread who's been posting instructions, updates to the device, links to nitrogen cartridges, etc. initially I wasn't going to post a thread because it seemed it would take away from the questions everyone had that had answers along with it. the amount of people who showed interest and reached out was overwhelming. with all the negative shit going on in the world, having a community where we can all share our struggles without judgment and be honest about how we feel was the only solace I've felt in months. some people wanted info, others shared their stories and asked about mine.
this community was beyond supportive and made things feel a little less burdensome in preparation for the final days. even though most of us have the same end goal in mind of leaving this world, we all come together to be there for one another in our greatest time of need. I am not a fan of toxic positivity, but we are all human and want nothing more than to be freed of the thoughts in our minds that weigh us down. some people have the opportunity to get better and live a prosperous life, and if you feel even the slightest hope for that, by no means should you let what I have to say or how I feel stop that from happening. I have tried everything to get better; meds, therapy, opening up to people. when you've tried everything and the battle is still waging on but you've got no more fight on you, I personally don't see admitting you've been defeated to be a sign of weakness. it's courageous to admit something isn't for you. I've swallowed my pride and admitted that all options have been exhausted for me to get better. and you know what? there's nothing wrong with that. with all the posting of people advocating this site is toxic, it truly isn't. any time I've opened up to someone in the "real world" the solution is always the same: go to a psych hospital and hope things get better. they never do, and again, this is okay. I am tired, and I'm courageous enough to admit defeat.
I can't thank you all enough for sharing kind words, listening to what I've had to say and making me feel like there was a place in this torturous world where I could be vulnerable and honest. my family and friends could go days without hearing from me, but the moment I was gone from here for a few hours people were legitimately concerned. it's odd; we're a group of strangers, yet we feel like a family of sorts. I will never forget the kindness that was displayed in what will be my last few days. as I prepare for this, any questions regarding the rebreather that may have been missed, please post in the designated thread and I will try my best to get back to you. in the time since the thread has been started, at least two other people have received their device and are being caught up to speed with the technicalities of it and should also be able to provide some answers if I'm unable to. otherwise, if you would like to say anything else to me directly or just in general, please feel free. thanks for listening. whether you decide to stay or go, we all deserve to feel peace.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Wasn't expecting to see this today. You are a really great person that has been giving some fantastic information to all of us. Thank you for taking the time to inform everyone, I truly appreciate the time and energy you put into answering questions. Sadly I never thought you ask your story, but I would like to know it if you're willing to share it again.

I hope you find peace and tranquility in the afterlife. May your journey be swift and calm.

 

[HighFlight]

I know we are strangers, but this community binds us as friends. Thank you for providing some leadership and sharing with us your thoughts and ideas with us. I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and truly hope you can find peace in whatever path you choose.

 

[alonely]

wishing you a peaceful journey and safe travels. thanks for your contributions to the community, giving your time and knowledge even as your final days may be approaching. hugs~

 

[PurpleVoid]

I have tried everything to get better; meds, therapy, opening up to people. when you've tried everything and the battle is still waging on but you've got no more fight on you, I personally don't see admitting you've been defeated to be a sign of weakness. it's courageous to admit something isn't for you. I've swallowed my pride and admitted that all options have been exhausted for me to get better. and you know what? there's nothing wrong with that. with all the posting of people advocating this site is toxic, it truly isn't. any time I've opened up to someone in the "real world" the solution is always the same: go to a psych hospital and hope things get better. they never do, and again, this is okay. I am tired, and I'm courageous enough to admit defeat.

This resonates with me. I've always believed in my heart that it would be shameful of me to give up when I had "so much to offer". Accepting defeat meant that everyone was wrong about me, that I wasn't going to live up to their expectations. But maybe soon I'll be able to admit defeat. It's not like anyone really wins against the universe in the end, anyway.

I only briefly saw your thread, but I want to pay my respects anyway. You went out of your way to share knowledge with others, to help others. You don't plan to be in the world much longer, so it doesn't benefit you in any real way. That's true compassion. Thank you, and I wish you peace.

 

[Gonnerr]

Goodbye, i hope you ctb peacefully.

 

[Mortadelo]

Farewell. Good luck

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Wish you the best on your travels to the afterlife, I have been following your rebreather thread and all the updates you have posted for it, I find it very informative and I thank you for that.

 

[mafuyu]

you can rest now

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

this is sudden. after reading so many of your posts, i was expecting some warning. i thank you for sharing so much. i can barely hold a thought atm but i wish you all the best.

 

[nomennescio]

Wishing you a smooth exit and the peace you deserve.

 

[indocanda]

Thanks for sharing information about rebreather.
Hope you find a peace
See you soon on the other side

 

[toofargone6969]

:( Sorry to see you go. Thank you for your valuable contribution to this community and your kindness. I enjoyed reading your post. I hope it works out for you and there are no issues with the device.

 

[day]

Your information is so incredibly valuable. Thank you so much for all your dedication in helping people rest peacefully.

I hope you get your peace now OP. Rest well.

 

[Das Nichts]

A bit late to the party, the rebreather thread was an interesting read.

I hope you did succeed and you found your peace!

 

[Techef]

Thanks for all the information about the Rebreather 3. Wasn't expecting to see this so soon after messaging you. If you've already left for your journey, I hope it was a peaceful journey and you are free from suffering. If you're still around, I wish you all the best.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace & freedom. You will leave a great heritage here that will help a lot of people! Good luck & farewell!

 

[jacrispy]

hey everyone,
I'm still here. this thread was to let everyone know that the time was coming relatively soon and a way to share how much the community has helped. with all the attacks on the site it seemed like a good idea to spread positivity in a time where we are all being made out to seem like monsters for being honest about our feelings. once the time does come, I'll be sure to let you all know.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Zebulon]

I wish you nothing, but the best.
Hopefully you find the peace that you deserve

 

[jessisme]

hey everyone,
I'm the guy behind the rebreather thread who's been posting instructions, updates to the device, links to nitrogen cartridges, etc. initially I wasn't going to post a thread because it seemed it would take away from the questions everyone had that had answers along with it. the amount of people who showed interest and reached out was overwhelming. with all the negative shit going on in the world, having a community where we can all share our struggles without judgment and be honest about how we feel was the only solace I've felt in months. some people wanted info, others shared their stories and asked about mine.
this community was beyond supportive and made things feel a little less burdensome in preparation for the final days. even though most of us have the same end goal in mind of leaving this world, we all come together to be there for one another in our greatest time of need. I am not a fan of toxic positivity, but we are all human and want nothing more than to be freed of the thoughts in our minds that weigh us down. some people have the opportunity to get better and live a prosperous life, and if you feel even the slightest hope for that, by no means should you let what I have to say or how I feel stop that from happening. I have tried everything to get better; meds, therapy, opening up to people. when you've tried everything and the battle is still waging on but you've got no more fight on you, I personally don't see admitting you've been defeated to be a sign of weakness. it's courageous to admit something isn't for you. I've swallowed my pride and admitted that all options have been exhausted for me to get better. and you know what? there's nothing wrong with that. with all the posting of people advocating this site is toxic, it truly isn't. any time I've opened up to someone in the "real world" the solution is always the same: go to a psych hospital and hope things get better. they never do, and again, this is okay. I am tired, and I'm courageous enough to admit defeat.
I can't thank you all enough for sharing kind words, listening to what I've had to say and making me feel like there was a place in this torturous world where I could be vulnerable and honest. my family and friends could go days without hearing from me, but the moment I was gone from here for a few hours people were legitimately concerned. it's odd; we're a group of strangers, yet we feel like a family of sorts. I will never forget the kindness that was displayed in what will be my last few days. as I prepare for this, any questions regarding the rebreather that may have been missed, please post in the designated thread and I will try my best to get back to you. in the time since the thread has been started, at least two other people have received their device and are being caught up to speed with the technicalities of it and should also be able to provide some answers if I'm unable to. otherwise, if you would like to say anything else to me directly or just in general, please feel free. thanks for listening. whether you decide to stay or go, we all deserve to feel peace.

LOVE Sal Vulcano and Impractical Jokers. I'm sorry you will be departing but it seems like you have put a lot of thought into your passing and it's your wish. I wish you well in this and peace in the hereafter. xo, j

 

[Kerrtu]

@jacrispy I'm wishing peace for you. We haven't interacted before, though I've seen and admired your dedication to helping others here in the forum, especially lately. I will remember your selflessness. And I will miss seeing the name 'Jacrispy' - it's reminded me of JaRule only 1000x better.

♡

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I am tired, and I'm courageous enough to admit defeat.

I loved your post. I do have to disagree with you on one thing. It's not really a debate, but just a difference in perspective, I guess. You stated that you tried everything. To me, that's not defeat. Fighting to the end is never defeat. You swung on this life until the end. I my mind, you're a champion. Anyone who does so is a champion. I'm sad that I never got to talk to you. I hope that, if there's another life, we meet and can be the very best of friends. Farewell!!!

 

[Sweet Tart]

This is beautifully said. You seem very kind and knowledgeable. I'm sorry that your efforts to get well didn't have the results you sought. People who are not depressed have no idea how much grit and perseverence it takes to continuously remain open to trying new treatment approaches and give everything a fair shot, only to be let down again and again, when we are already in a low place. I think it is humane and pragmatic to have a limit to how long we continue fighting after exhausting all available options. I wish you peace and comfort in your remaining time and through the end of your journey.

 

[jacrispy]

Wasn't expecting to see this today. You are a really great person that has been giving some fantastic information to all of us. Thank you for taking the time to inform everyone, I truly appreciate the time and energy you put into answering questions. Sadly I never thought you ask your story, but I would like to know it if you're willing to share it again.

I hope you find peace and tranquility in the afterlife. May your journey be swift and calm.

the rebreather seemed to be a way to bring a peaceful end to everyone, which is what we all want. sharing information so people could make an informed decision and have the means to that was of vital importance to me. we're all here to help one another. I hope that you find the peace you deserve as well.

I know we are strangers, but this community binds us as friends. Thank you for providing some leadership and sharing with us your thoughts and ideas with us. I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and truly hope you can find peace in whatever path you choose.

you are more than welcome. strangers are just friends we haven't met yet, whether it's in this life or the next. you don't need to be sorry. life isn't for everyone. I am at peace with my decision. I hope you find peace as well.

wishing you a peaceful journey and safe travels. thanks for your contributions to the community, giving your time and knowledge even as your final days may be approaching. hugs~

I hope the same for you, and you're very welcome.

 

[020x]

Hopefully your method won't disappoint you and that you will be free from the pain that you can't stop anymore. Good luck :/

 

[jacrispy]

This resonates with me. I've always believed in my heart that it would be shameful of me to give up when I had "so much to offer". Accepting defeat meant that everyone was wrong about me, that I wasn't going to live up to their expectations. But maybe soon I'll be able to admit defeat. It's not like anyone really wins against the universe in the end, anyway.

I only briefly saw your thread, but I want to pay my respects anyway. You went out of your way to share knowledge with others, to help others. You don't plan to be in the world much longer, so it doesn't benefit you in any real way. That's true compassion. Thank you, and I wish you peace.

you may have things to offer, and I'm 100% certain that you do. no one is wrong about you. sometimes what you've got to offer outweighs what you are receiving in return. people's expectations are far too high when they don't even meet ours. we can't cheat death. no one makes it out alive, whether it's tomorrow or 75 years from now. everyone has the right to choose when something isn't for them. as far as helping others goes, you don't need to benefit from it in order to do it. I've made mistakes in my life and have been far from perfect. helping others when I've truly got nothing to gain from it is my way of repaying for where I've fallen short in life. please take care of yourself.

I loved your post. I do have to disagree with you on one thing. It's not really a debate, but just a difference in perspective, I guess. You stated that you tried everything. To me, that's not defeat. Fighting to the end is never defeat. You swung on this life until the end. I my mind, you're a champion. Anyone who does so is a champion. I'm sad that I never got to talk to you. I hope that, if there's another life, we meet and can be the very best of friends. Farewell!!!

I actually love the fact that you disagree with me on my viewpoint. a majority of people will always say something along the lines of "if you would just do this or that it would get better." you wouldn't tell that to someone with a terminal illness. depression is a disease. some people on this forum may not struggle with it and want to CTB for other reasons, but we're all here for a reason. mine just happened to involve a chemical imbalance in my brain. years and years of therapy, inpatient treatments, medications, all for things to only ever become tolerable and getting by simply through distractions to keep me getting through the days. I suppose my phrasing with the word "defeat" came about because that's how I've come to feel. life has worn me down no matter what I've done or tried. going out knowing someone saw in me what I never did makes this feel all the more fulfilling. for the first time in a while, you've managed to bring tears to my eyes and feel a sense of pride. thank you. these kind words will never be forgotten. I truly hope we do get to meet somewhere.

This is beautifully said. You seem very kind and knowledgeable. I'm sorry that your efforts to get well didn't have the results you sought. People who are not depressed have no idea how much grit and perseverence it takes to continuously remain open to trying new treatment approaches and give everything a fair shot, only to be let down again and again, when we are already in a low place. I think it is humane and pragmatic to have a limit to how long we continue fighting after exhausting all available options. I wish you peace and comfort in your remaining time and through the end of your journey.

you've got nothing to apologize for. it's definitely true that unless you are here or have been here people don't understand how much of a toll trying to get help takes on you, especially when it doesn't end up working. you can only rinse and repeat so many times before taking a step back and realizing that for some, there is no cure. if you show no signs of physical ailments, people don't take your situation seriously. unfortunately after dealing with this for over half my life, my limit has been reached. whatever place you are at in terms of treatments or coming to terms with your decision, I hope either one brings you comfort and peace.

Thanks for all the information about the Rebreather 3. Wasn't expecting to see this so soon after messaging you. If you've already left for your journey, I hope it was a peaceful journey and you are free from suffering. If you're still around, I wish you all the best.

my apologies, I'm still here and will get back to you in a bit

 

[SVEN]

Thankyou for your kindness and genorosity in sharing information. I hope you find peace and rest, weary traveller, you have fought well and endured long.

 

[cheese.out]

Thank you for this beautiful post and all the information youve given us. I can absolutely agree, this community is beyond loving and supporting. You get help if you want, people are there for you if you need to talk but there is no toxic positivity - and thats wonderful.

I truly wish you - deep from my soul - all peace and love and a smooth journey into the afterlife❤