LetzteAusfahrt
Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
- Jun 27, 2020
- 590
Today the time has finally come, I have my final exam. I will finally find out whether I have learned the right thing and can actually apply it.
At least the part about being relaxed seems to fit, I'm completely relaxed and hardly think about tonight. Let's see how it develops.
I am pursuing two goals with the ctb today. Primarily, of course, that I can finally end my existence and find my place in the common, infinite "nothing". The nothing that relieves me of all agony and pain, frees me from it.
I'm looking forward to it so much. To the moment when I realize that the light is about to go out and that I will be on the last path.
For the first time in my life, I got to know the feeling of community here in the forum. A community that accepts everyone for who they are. In which everyone helps one another to find the difficult goal of peace.
For this I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, first and foremost of course the operators and moderators of the forum.
As a small thank you to dss forum, my ctb is documented by an online observer who writes for me, even if I can no longer do it myself, e.g. because I see everything blurry.
My SN regime is very simple
02:00 pm fasting starts (eating)
08:00 pm 600mg ibuprofen
08:00 pm fasting starts (drinking)
10:00 pm 25g SN in 50ml water
I have prepared 4 servings of 25g SN in 50ml water. Better safe than sorry.
And in the unlikely event that I do wake up again, I wear a noose for a tourniquet around my neck, 3 wooden sticks are ready next to me. Better safe than sorry.
I still have a few things to do and I won't have much time to write. Otherwise, there is already little time to have everything done on my appointment.
I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who will write to me and I also wish you a pleasant and peaceful journey if you will follow my path.
Goodbye my friends, may you also find the peace you long for.
Dani
At least the part about being relaxed seems to fit, I'm completely relaxed and hardly think about tonight. Let's see how it develops.
I am pursuing two goals with the ctb today. Primarily, of course, that I can finally end my existence and find my place in the common, infinite "nothing". The nothing that relieves me of all agony and pain, frees me from it.
I'm looking forward to it so much. To the moment when I realize that the light is about to go out and that I will be on the last path.
For the first time in my life, I got to know the feeling of community here in the forum. A community that accepts everyone for who they are. In which everyone helps one another to find the difficult goal of peace.
For this I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, first and foremost of course the operators and moderators of the forum.
As a small thank you to dss forum, my ctb is documented by an online observer who writes for me, even if I can no longer do it myself, e.g. because I see everything blurry.
My SN regime is very simple
02:00 pm fasting starts (eating)
08:00 pm 600mg ibuprofen
08:00 pm fasting starts (drinking)
10:00 pm 25g SN in 50ml water
I have prepared 4 servings of 25g SN in 50ml water. Better safe than sorry.
And in the unlikely event that I do wake up again, I wear a noose for a tourniquet around my neck, 3 wooden sticks are ready next to me. Better safe than sorry.
I still have a few things to do and I won't have much time to write. Otherwise, there is already little time to have everything done on my appointment.
I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who will write to me and I also wish you a pleasant and peaceful journey if you will follow my path.
Goodbye my friends, may you also find the peace you long for.
Dani
